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AIBU?

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Original poster

Avoid In-laws because of jokes about my appearance

308 replies

butterfly245 · 19/08/2026 16:17

I have always been short, which my in-laws have always found hilarious. Whenever I see them there are comments on my heights, comparing me to the children, jokes etc etc. sometimes I laugh it off, sometimes I roll my eyes, but on a couple of occasions I have actually made it clear I don’t find it funny. One family member once asked me if I mind it and when I said I didn’t like it they stopped. The others haven’t (the children now join in).

I didn’t go to the last family occasion because I’m getting tired of it (it’s been over 10 years). I told DH and said I was happy for him to go and to take the kids too, but he said he didn’t want to (it’s a 2 hour drive and they’re not particularly close). When he told his SIL (just said we couldn’t come) she expressed some disappointment. We have one of the kids (teenager) coming to visit soon and I don’t know how to respond if any comments come up.

I’d love some advice on how to handle future comments. AIBU to be irritated to the point of avoiding them or should I get a thicker skin?

OP posts:
Iheartmysmart · 19/08/2026 16:29

I’m very short at just under 5ft tall and the jokes can get very tiresome. I suggest you get a t-shirt printed with the words ‘yes I’m short, but at least I’m not a tedious fuckwit like you’ and wear it every time you see them.

Or start insulting them back - ‘oh Barbara, I see you’re still fucking ugly’ or ‘oh Brian, still as fucking dull as ever then’. Play the twats at their own game.

SpaceShark · 19/08/2026 16:28

Sorry you've had to deal with that. They sound like a group of bullies with a toxic family culture. I'd expect my DH to be having a firm word or doing so myself, and if it didn't stop, I wouldn't be around them.

Also, wtf is with everyonw asking how short OP is? I wouldn't answer that as for the purposes of this post it is irrelevant. She doesn't need to put up with it, whatever her height.

ThatCyanCat · 19/08/2026 16:28

One of them stopped when you were direct with them, have you tried the same approach with the others? You say you sometimes laugh it off or just eye roll so they might not realise that actually you hate it every time and they may think that it depends on the joke... and of course, whichever one they're thinking of will always be so, so funny.

Shmee1988 · 19/08/2026 16:23

Stand up for yourself (no pun intended) and ask them politely to stop. If they dont then tell them, not so politely again to stop. If they still ignore you, either dont go to family events or lose your shit with them lol. Seems an odd thing to get so worked up about though.

How tall are you?

BathosBunny · 19/08/2026 16:23

You should have shut this shit down years ago.
It's now a 'standing family joke'.
Stand up for yourself, or nothing will change. Each and every time.

Allowingthebreeze · 19/08/2026 16:21

Tell them you always judge someone from the neck up

Indianajet · 19/08/2026 16:20

How short are you?

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 19/08/2026 16:19

YANBU - but I would probably wimp out and get DH to have a word/fight my battles for me.

As a matter of curiosity, what height are you?

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