Avoid In-laws because of jokes about my appearance

You need to call them out on it, ‘BIL why are you making a joke of my personal appearance, I find it very rude, and I wouldn’t do the same to you’. You can then adapt it if you want to ‘I wouldn’t do the same to you regarding your massive nose, balding hair, bad teeth, short legs, bad breath, unfortunate hair cut, terrible dress sense etc’.

I am just touching 5'1. No one has ever done this to me. How tall are they? I have friends who are six footers and we laugh at us being short AND tall but not in a nasty way, when we are together. And only now and then as it does become a boring joke after a while. They sound like awful people. Has this teenager who is coming to visit also joined in?

Absolutely this. I wouldn’t stand for it at all tbh, but definitely not in my own home. And I was wondering about DH. OP says he get annoyed but why isn’t he doing anything to support her ?

OP with respect you need to find the balls otherwise this won’t stop. They clearly find these same tired and worn comments hilarious time after time, at your expense and you need to stop them in their tracks - with shock tactics if necessary.

You don’t need to say very much. ‘Fuck Off’ is one option - short, sweet and gets your point across without fuss. The other option is to confront them and ask them what they find so funny about your height. Tell them that you can do nothing about your height but there’s a lot they can do about being rude, ignorant and offensive twats, and that until they do, you don’t want to be anywhere near them !!

Just say it’s funny how genetics can work and they must unfortunately have the fat gene

What a nasty bunch of bullies. MIL can be similar. I took it for the first 10 years, then dished it back.

You don't need a tougher skin, they all need to stop being cunts. I would continue not see them. They need to learn, let them be disappointed for as long as it takes.

I say this as someone with short in laws - DP's dad is 5ft 5 and mum and sisters all 4ft 11 - I am 5ft 7 and must weigh twice as much as his dad. I think they're pretty teeny and I imagine they think I'm a chubby giant but we keep it to ourselves as we're not cunts.

My unpleasant sister in law once asked me a personal question in front of all the family. I brushed it off then replied back with a personal question on a subject she avoids. It shut her up. 🤣
Next time they make a rude comment, reply back with something like "better to be short than overweight/rude/unpleasant..."etc

Is she a friend though? Or is she someone you know? Huge difference.

I’m also 5ft 0” and I’ve never experienced anything like this, but it does sound awful of them! I really would make some clever comment about their weight and then see how they like it.

This rudeness must have a deeper reason.

I'm 4ft 10ins and no one makes comments at least not to my face.

I married into a family of ridiculously tall people, including a 6ft Mil; DH once said that all of them piling out of a car was like watching clowns at the circus.

Good for you! (And thanks for making me LOL!)

I’ve shut down similar by just remaining stony-faced and silent. It’s the laughing along or responding with banter that keeps it going. Stony silence held for an uncomfortable length of time embarrasses everyone.

I feel your pain. I have massive boobs and my friend of over 20 years always always feels the need to mention them. Following thread for advice.

Op you have a mouth use it.

Im 4f11 i ve had all the jokes but with me i join in.

"If you stop making "jokes" at my expense about my height, I won't make any jokes about your weight"

This is for DH to deal with as it’s his family. “Can you not please? You’re being really rude!” should do it. Every time.

I mean, okay, but he clearly has to do a LOT more here doesn’t he?

And one of these awful people wants to come and stay with you and enjoy your hospitality? Really? I wouldn’t be messing around cracking jokes about it, I’d just say ‘pack it in or you’re leaving in ten minutes’.

This is really nasty behaviour, I can’t believe you aren’t angrier about it!

I get these jokes - I'm 5 1 and I quite like them - they feel affectionate. My friend used to tell me to be careful I didn't hit my arse when I stepped off the curb. 😆However that's coming from people who I know love me. I'd probably find it quite jarring if they were coming from people I wasn't so close to.

If they bother you, there's only one option and that is to stand up for yourself, firmly, kick up a proper fuss and tell them. Yes, it will be uncomfortable and awkward, but the alternative is you never spending time with them again.

They'll probably just say "can't you take a joke".

"It's not rude it's just bantz"

"Yes"

I get this all the time from my IL’s. I am 5ft 3. We go on holiday with them soon and my height will be a topic of conversation for the whole week as they make what they think are absolutely hilarious comments. It is very tiresome sometimes but I feel sorry for them really for having to make fun of someone to probably make themselves feel better.

The next time they say anything, respond with something like "yes, I am short, but at least I am articulate and have many other things to talk about. You people are boring"

“Oh Jim, more of the same old boring jokes about my height. Maybe I should start to make jokes about you being 5 stone overweight, or about your bad breath? Let’s mix it up a bit, eh?

Ot alternatively, let’s play nicely?”

That’s the best offering I have.

Maybe just stay away from them instead? I’d let DH know that whilst they are going to be insufferable arseholes, you will avoid them. If he (and they) want you there, everyone has to step up and be better.

Why does that matter. Even if she is 1ft tall it does give people the green light to take the piss.