Avoid In-laws because of jokes about my appearance

Apparently he saw a really tall woman and got freaked out by her and said he felt emasculated??

Hmmm - no wonder you were not happy with the 'banter' - the family do actually see height as a characteristic of power and superiority and were using 'jokes' to flex their feelings. The boy has grown up understanding that height is a matter of status.

Including over women.

Bad news.

I really hope that will be end to the comments, finally! You have put up with it for far too long.
All the best.
xx

If the teenagers start being offensive you need to immediatly have stern words to put them in their place and warn them to keep their bad attitude to themselves or they will be sent home on public transport.

That should be enough to put them in their place and after some time, the same old stupid joke gets tiresome so good on you and your DH for standing your ground.

I mean it is not like you can help it, your height is dictated by your genetics not your god forsaken inlaws so they should wind their necks in and start behaving like decent human beings for once.

Just stand your ground with them, and assert yourself and I am sure this should show them enough is enough.

@butterfly245

You’ve been so polite & tolerant to put up with this shit - or let’s be honest & call it what it is - bullying. I’d have lost it by now & just been brutally blunt & told the bloody lot of them in no uncertain terms that they need to fuck right off with it. I might even have been tempted to be as childish as them & retaliate with a ‘How would you feel if I made endless fat jokes every time I saw you? No? Not acceptable? Well, this is exactly the same, you morons!’

Yikes! A whole lot of pathologies in that family I guess!

Get one of these T-shirts.

When ever any of them mention your height just reply 'Are you not bored with all that now. I'm not going to grow anymore so please give it a rest, it's getting boring after this many years. I've not mentioned anything about your weight, your figure, your bad sense of dress (whatever you can use to put them down) so I'd appreciate it if my height is not mentioned ever again thanks' Say it in a stern no none sense voice so they know you're not joking around

If his family are unable to see you without taking the piss out of you, then they should be unable to see you full stop. Your DH is a fking wet lettuce and absolute disgrace for allowing that to happen for so many years. I would go no contact with them (doesn't mean he has to). As someone else said, they are toxic bullies. And they have shown time and time again that they are not able or willing to show you respect. But you can show yourself respect. Life is too short to spend it around arseholes.

I think a good answer would be I am 5ft but at least I don't bore people with the same remarks over and over whenever we meet. I think that could be way. Best wishes the relatives sound awful.

What a bunch of infantile arseholes!! 🤬

If your niece/nephew makes any comments, nip it right in the bud. It's not acceptable for adults to carry on with this shit for ten years never mind the children starting.

I also think that intervention by your husband is well overdue.

All I can say is that you're a better person than me. I'd have lost it YEARS ago and I wouldn't have been subtle about it either.

How many of them are there that regularly make fun of you? Are any of the comments half funny or have you heard them all on repeat?

I'd write a list of them all and pick out 1 thing for each of them that they wouldn't like you to make fun of especially as they won't be expecting it - horse teeth, piano teeth, hairy nose, dogs breath, big nose, saggy tits etc etc they won't find that funny at all

Its unaccetable to make fun of someone else's physical characteristics and they must know this. When I was in secondary school in the 80s my favourite teacher once teased me about blushing when I didn't know an answer in front of the whole class. I was mortified. I was a shy child and prone to blushing. Nevertheless I heard myself saying back to him "well at least I don't have to wear glasses" (sorry glasses wearers - I was lashing out - I do have to wear them myself now!). He asked me to repeat myself - and I thought I was in real trouble - but I explained that he couldn't help having to wear glasses and I couldn't help blushing. He just muttered something like "ah yes I see" and carried on with the lesson. No apology but it felt like a big win to me. Not really advocating that approach with your in-laws unless you tell them explicitly that you hate it and they continue!

It's too late to vote, but your height is not the reason you are feeling short changed. I don't pretend to know what is, but your height is IRRELEVANT.

When the teenager comes to stay, you can divide and conquer a bit. Tell them up front: “Your family has a tendency to be quite rude about my height. I don’t enjoy it and it’s not very nice. I just want you to understand that I don’t want you to be rude to me while you’re staying here”. When it’s directed at them personally, hopefully they will think about it a bit more and take responsibility, rather than blindly copying their parents.

And maybe you can pick them all off one by one in the same way.

Why isn't your husband stopping this? It's his family and he needs to put his foot down and tell them it is unacceptable. He needs to get a shiny spine and stand up for you. My mom was 4'9" and I am 5'3", my father was 6'1". I didn't know that I was short until a few years ago! I'm almost 70 and thought I was taller! My sister (5'9") is the one who told me that I was short! I was a semi-truck driver for 20 years! Never thought I was short!

Whenever people have made comments about me like this I just own it and make them uncomfortable in the process. When they realise it hasn't had the desired effect they tend to feel disappointed and stop. If they don't, I just tell them to shut up, very seriously, and they do.

The last one I can remember mocking me for my height (I'm 5'1), I responded with "you know what they say, the shorter the person, the closer to hell. Hail Satan!"

Brilliant. DD has this and it's very true. She teaches at secondary and her behaviour mgt is legendary!

'Though she be but little, she is fierce'
(I am 5ft but glad to have Shakespeare in my corner)

Id also point out how unacceptable their comments would be in the workplace. You don't 'banter' about physical attributes. I like only being 5'2". I'd only react to the disrespect. I would have asled if they wouldlaugh along to fat etc jokes. You really need to up your reaction to this.

Whenever someone comments about my height, my favourite response is:
’diamonds are smaller than bricks’

i do have sympathy if the jokes are tedious now, could you try again the straight up listen, I don’t like the jokes, please stop.
and if they don’t stop, get your clever comebacks ready, for a taste of their own medicine.

I like to stick by the idea that we don’t mention things to people that they can’t change in one minute eg I might tell them if they have sauce round their mouth but I would never say if they have, for example, put on weight.

Depending on how they are..

Id try again a jokey... 'ah still the same tiresome jokes x years later...' and smile.

If they STILL don't stop I'd let them have both barrels.

'Look, I've told you in a jokey way and spoken to some people separately. Please stop with the height jokes-it's been going on for years !

I find it unbelievably boring and offensive, and it actively stops me wanting to come to family events . I don't want to have to do this again. '

and then just go back to whatever you're doing and just act normally for the rest of the time.

That's not so short ! Pretty average in my world . I'm a 5ft and it's never been an issue .

Think you need to get DH to speak to them to tell them you don't like it .

That's incredibly rude and extremely disrespectful!
Next time they try to do that, you need to push them off, point out that that behaviour is harassment and you won't tolerate it. Definitely get DH to back you up as SIL will try to make light of it.