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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to feel hurt after my stepdaughter was edited out?

190 replies

Embod9947 · 18/08/2026 18:49

So I’ve just been on a big family holiday with my mum, brother, his partner, their kids, my sister and her family and me, my partner, my kids and my step daughter. On the holiday we did a number of family photos as due to distance we do not get together very often. One of the family photos was my mum with all the grandchildren, including my step daughter (who been in my life for 11 years, since she was 4). I’ve just discovered my sister and mum have edited the photo to remove my step daughter from it and then my mum posted it online. Am I unreasonable to be incredibly hurt by this?

OP posts:
itsgettingweird · 18/08/2026 19:23

Gosh that awful.

Im also from a large family as my mum
was 1 of 7!!!!

so the next generation is quite a number of us (19!).

Us 19 have step and foster kids as well as bio kids.

Not ever, not even once, has any photo excluded any of the children there who wanted to be in it. Regardless of how they came to be part of our family.

Newyearawaits · 18/08/2026 19:22

Please consider that your mum may have thoughtlessly did this without any intended malice

MsRubee · 18/08/2026 19:12

How nasty. I’d tell her to edit the rest of my kids out of her ridiculous photo. What does she even have to gain by removing a child from a w.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 18/08/2026 19:09

What is it with all these posts recently about families leaving out step children? Terrible.

Jenpen31 · 18/08/2026 19:06

That is absolutely appalling! I would have it out with them immediately.

MrsPerfect12 · 18/08/2026 19:04

5128gap · 18/08/2026 18:55

Awful of them.
As a grandparent I consider it my job to grandparent the children my children present me with as 'theirs' whether they gave birth to them or not. I only have my role because of the families they created and its not up to me accept or reject the children they include.

I love this 🥰

Original poster
Embod9947 · 18/08/2026 19:02

Just to clarify my mum lives close to me and knows my step daughter well. She posted other photos from the trip that did include my stepdaughter just edited her out of the ‘grandkids’ picture

OP posts:
ruethewhirl · 18/08/2026 18:57

Who on earth has voted YABU to this??

OP, this is outrageous, your poor DSD. I’d definitely be demanding an explanation.

MissChanandlerBonng · 18/08/2026 18:57

I never post DSC online as I didnt want to have a conversation about permission with DH’s ex. He isn’t on SM so he never posted them, I didn’t want to go there, tbh. Too many potential issues.

BalakayAARon · 18/08/2026 18:56

I can see both sides. It's a hard thing to navigate, I wouldn't judge harshly if they are otherwise kind to your SD. Does SD have her other parent and grandparents, etc in her life? Or is she effectively with you and your family as her only parents and extended family?

MoHarris · 18/08/2026 18:56

You said due to distance you don’t see each other often, how often has your mum seen your step daughter in 11 years? do they have much of a relationship?

5128gap · 18/08/2026 18:55

Awful of them.
As a grandparent I consider it my job to grandparent the children my children present me with as 'theirs' whether they gave birth to them or not. I only have my role because of the families they created and its not up to me accept or reject the children they include.

ScarlettSarah · 18/08/2026 18:55

That's absolutely outrageous. I have a stepdaughter too. Cannot imagine my family doing that.

Castletickedoff · 18/08/2026 18:54

Is it possible she didn’t want to post sometime else’s child online maybe without permission from the child’s mother?

Greenbag4523 · 18/08/2026 18:50

Yes. I'd speak to her and ask why she would do that.