AIBU to prefer an all girls state secondary for my daughters?

I went to an all girls comp in London in the 80s and loved it. I still have a group of 8 friends that I met there that speak daily on our WhatsApp group and see each other regularly. There was a lot of parties where we met boys for socialising and pubs (nobody checked ids in the 80s!). All of my friends had/ have partners and most had children. I moved from that school into a very male dominated degree course and was perfectly able to talk and socialise with them. This idea that girls will never meet anyone of the opposite sex if they go to a girls school is just not true if they do anything else outside of the home.

I have two sons and they both went to a boys grammar and have had zero problem finding girlfriends and socialising with girls generally.

I went to an all-girls state secondary. It was good for me. There was no competitiveness over boys, no pressure to impress them, no fighting to have your voice heard (girls tend to be quieter in mixed classes, boys tend to dominate). I didn't experience bullying or cliques and my lessons were never disrupted by poor behaviour. I had a nice group of friends. I did go to a mixed sixth form though and I did find it hard to talk to boys. I was very nervous around them. But you grow out of it quite quickly. And there are plenty of ways to meet boys outside of school. If I had the option I would probably send my DD to one. (I would not, however, send my DS to a single sex school!)

Absolutely this for me too

My dd is currently in an all girls secondary school. When we went to all the local secondary school open nights this school totally impressed us and seemed 100% the best fit for her. A lot of her school friends immediately dismissed it due to it being all girls but I can honestly say we are blown away with how good the school is. She is absolutely thriving especially in maths and science which had never been her strong areas.

My DD14 goes to a non selective girls secondary with a really good academic record. There is a boys school in the same academy group although the results are not so good. There are several girls grammar schools not that far away from us although she’s not actually that academic. She has a really great group of friends who are all lovely girls.

I was pretty keen for her to go to this school because of the academic record but also because we liked the feel of it when we viewed it versus the local co-ed school. I also worked in Child protection in London and am
aware of many child sexual exploitation cases involving boys in schools ( including rapes on school premises ) and I’m quite happy to kick that can down the road as far as safety and managing male behaviour goes.

I think that in general it is better for girls and young women, though there will be schools where that is an exception.

I went to an all girls and my dd will 100% go all girls.
Statistically thry do better academically at single sex

I was also horrified by the stories a few of my friends "me too" stories that happened at coeds schools...

single sex schools are much better than mixed. I’ll die on that hill. Don’t regret it for one second

but ultimately depends on your child. If sporty, absolutely 100% single sex. If into science, 100% single sex

if musical or more humanities based, I don’t think it is as important.

My dd chose a girls’ school (despite having lots of male friends in primary) and it’s been fantastic for her. She says she doesn’t see any bullying. When she started, she said it was amazing that they never had to work in silence, and in discussions nobody was shouting. I think that was the biggest thing for her, at least at first, how calm and quiet the lessons were without boys. She’s about to start Y11 and it has been a really positive experience, she’s confident, the classes get to have interesting discussions, they get feminism, as pp have said, it’s very relaxed without the boys and they feel very free and confident.

She did martial arts for a while and had a boyfriend from there, now she has a job and works with boys, so there are plenty of opportunities to socialise with boys- but her days are free of self consciousness and the sexualisation that girls increasingly have to go through in mixed schools. As well as the calmer atmosphere.

Statistically, girls do better in girls’ schools, and they are also less gendered when choosing post-16 courses, so more likely to choose physics and other STEM than they are in mixed schools.

I went to an all girls senior school. There were a lot of positives, but I would say it’s really important to mix with boys in extra curricular stuff, especially if they don’t have brothers. Lots of the girls were completely unable to talk to boys- either painfully shy around them or were absolutely obsessed with them.

Both my dd went to a state girls school. The oldest chose it over the mixed school near by because and I quote her age 11. " The boys mess about upset the teachers and stop us learning" Both loved it and did well both academically and socially. The school always had 10 - 15 girls doing A level.physics and high take up.of Chemistry and Biology. The last mixed secondary taught in didn't have a single girl take physics for 6 years. Both my girls went to out of school activities and had plenty of male friends.

Oh the other thing is the curriculum is designed in a very feminist way- so for example if they are studying a historical era they'll focus on some key women (who are often not the stars of the curriculum), look at gender stereotypes in English literature etc etc. And no one is wondering if the boys are interested in it

I went to a state girls secondary and thrived both academically and socially. I think that it would have been useful to do a few more extra curricular activities where there were boys present so they weren't so "mysterious" but apart from that no issues at all. I look back knowing that we wouldn't have been as free/silly/wild if there were boys to impress.

Mine are at an all girls state secondary (proper comprehensive) and I'm a governor at one (a different one).

Behaviour is excellent. The girls say they feel more relaxed and free. They do things like silly dressing up for world book day. Our safeguarding incidents due to sexual harassment are almost zero.

Both DDs say it's a welcome relief after being in primary classes that had a lot of badly behaved, sometimes violent, boys. Girls do better in single sex schools.

When men say girls need to 'get used' to boys that always rings massive alarm bells for me and the subtext is- get used to the threat of male violence and harassment; get used to being put in your place; get used to being pushed out of science and maths; make yourself smaller. They've got a whole lifetime at work (and before everyone piles on and say their son is not like that- I'm sure he's delightful. But there is reams of research that shows how embedded misogyny and sexual harassment is in schools).

I was vehemently against all girls (a sibling had a bad experience single sex in the 90's) however my now teenage DD goes to one (mixed for primary) at her choice and I have 100% changed my mind. The key though is for the girls to have activities outside school with boys too though i.e scouts, music, theatre etc. My DD (who chose the school for what it offered, not because she wanted to be away from boys) absolutely loves her school and being girls only and from the first week commented how different (nicer) it was in a learning environment without boys - calmer, focussed, allowed to speak up, being smart is celebrated, lots of opportunities for all the girls, conversations openly about girl specific challenges (periods, bras, misogyny etc) and how to overcome/ deal with day to day etc. And this from a girl who's 'best' friends are still boys - they just don't learn in a classroom/ school together. And the girls at this school thrive. Academic attainment, co-curricular attainment and are generally a lovely group of articulate, confident, pleasant girls.

It depends on the child. DD1 did 11-18 in an all girls state school (selective grammar) and was v happy. She still has lots of friends from school and enjoyed her time. She found it a very warm and supportive environment.

DD2 did Yr 7 in a different state girls school (comp) but moved in yr8 to a mixed comp. She was much happier in a mixed school and has always had a lot of male friends.

I work in education. I dont know any. North East England.

I went to an all girls school from secondary onwards. It was very good for me. At the time I also associated it with less physical violence as I had been attacked by the boys at my primary school.

My brother mixed with girls at his school and his studies were always heavily distracted by girlfriends.

I was ‘late’ to start dating men but it hasn’t really impacted me. Only for the positive. Given me more flexibility in where i could move for work, and I have been with DH 10 years so far. (He went to a boys’ grammar)

I think it really depends how much they are socialized outside of school. I went to a sixth form that had a lot of girls that came from single sex schools and many seemed to either throw themselves at the boys or not know how to be around them at all.

Also not sure the narrative that all teenage boys are awful is true. As a teacher teen girls can be harder work in a classroom.......

My daughters went to a mixed primary, an all girls secondary til 16 then a mixed 6th form.

I think the all girls environment when they are 11-16 is really positive and helpful for them, as they're developing emotionally and physically, and during classes academically speaking. They loved it and grew into confident young girls. No young teenage boys to put up with - a blessing.

Studies consistently show that single sex is better for girls, and mixed sex is better for boys.

Do them a massive favour and send them to the girls school, especially if it is a good one

My dd went to a single sex school and it really increased her confidence, she has a very can-do attitude and she blossomed