AIBU to prefer an all girls state secondary for my daughters?

So my DN went to one and she had an amazing time. She’s at edi uni now doing really well! She has 5 siblings and 3 are girls and her sister really struggled there and had to be moved. It really depends on the kid.

My older niece is very confident and doesn’t take any bitchy shit, happy on her own and generally has never really given a fuck - so not really a target for bullying.

My younger niece isn’t really like that and she’s a bit more sensitive, can be led astray a bit and is sometimes awkward. Teenage girls smelled that like sharks and the poor girl got psychologically terrorised. I was bullied at school (mixed state comp) and it was all classic physical old school bullying, what these girls were doing to my poor niece was some CIA level psychologically operations. She’s happy now in mixed school thank god - but it is something to think about. People I know who went to all girls schools either had a great time or a terrible time, I’ve not seen much of a grey area. For me, I would probably give it a try under the assumption that if she was having a bad time I’d move her stat.

I suspect whether you have the option of single sex state education will depend on where in the country you are and the policy for that area.

I went to single sex for secondary. It was a smallish town with a rural catchment, and there was no choice unless you went private.

We knew lots of boys because we'd been at school with them since primary. We saw boys on the school bus, at swimming club and other activities. We shared with the boys school for some things like drama productions and language exchanges. Half my 6th form lessons were st the boys school, because the only way they could run some A-levels was to share numbers.

Academically, I didn't hear stereotypes like "girls can't do maths," and the stats on girls doing more STEM subjects in single sex schools- we fitted in to that.

Yes, there was some bitchiness and there were different groups, but teenagers. You get bitchiness in mixed schools, too (and boys schools, they just don't call it bitchiness.) I wasn't really aware of bullying - that happened more in lower schools/school bus, IME.

I'm still friends with people from school, 36 years since we left. Had I had daughters, I'd have preferred single sex secondary for them. I now work in IT in a very male-dominated sector - I am literally the only woman in the room. I can communicate with them with few problems (certainly better than some men around here.)

But school choices still depend on the child and the school - what works well for one child won't work as well for another, even in the best schools. Outside of school - you might choose Guides, or you might choose something more mixed to counter the lack of boys at school. It's not just school where you meet people.

Coversely, majority of my family, friends and work colleagues went to single sex and most of their children are in single sex (mix of state, grammar and private). Some also in mixed, including one of mine.

We’re a way off, but all girls state is what I’m considering for secondary for my DD. I’m typically against single sex ed but I hate what I hear about all the co ed schools around here and a friend of ours high up in education a while ago had his girls there so… seems like a good choice!

Yikes, most of these did happen at my all girls high school.
Obviously no boys to dominate the lessons (pro!)
We never played at lunch. We played sports or sat in little groups or wandered around arms linked. Definitely no "playing". It was babyish.
Less disruption - I suppose I have nothing to compare it to, but we had plenty of "naughty kids" in the school who would disrupt lessons.
Upskirting did happen in a fashion. I mean when I was in early highschool most people didn't have camera phones, they came into the mass market while I was there. Girls were awful, taking photos over toilet cubicles, when getting changed for PE, if someone leaked on their period etc
I developed an ED from having my weight mocked in highschool.

Yes not all girls are bitchy, but with around 250 in each school year, that's a lot of girls and the bitchy ones sadly are often the loudest. Bullying was rife, but attainment was very high.

Also I always say you can always tell which young women went to an all girls highschool if you ever see them pull up their tights in public. We had absolutely no shame!

The state senior schools that people really want near me are all single sex - Elizabeth Garrett Anderson, Highbury Fields, Camden School for Girls (although I think we would be out the catchment for that one), Central Foundation.

People who fulfil the religious criteria and live more centrally want Grey Coat Hospital and St Marylebone for their girls.

That's weird they don't have some. In my area and surrounding ones there's plenty. You should be able to choose.

I preferred a mixed school. It believe it gives balance and an education in itself.

Most of my DD friends are boys in school, they’re a nerdy group, enjoying dungeons and dragons etc. I preferred hanging with lads in school. I am women who generally prefers other women’s company so it wasn’t because I was a boy/girl.

I just didn’t gel with the girls in a school setting. I have more female friends than make nowadays.

Thats about 1 and a half hours away from me. Couldn't afford private and dont agree with it. No state single sex here.

I went to one in the Newcastle city centre which had a huge catchment.

None near me. Private over 1 hour away

i went to one (state grammar) and never found mixing with boys was an issue but then I did out of school activities that were mixed. Single sex schools also tend to have joint events or activities with their equivalent boys/girls school. We mixed schools for some subjects at A-level and also had things like debating soc and senior orchestra that were mixed. We also used the same buses to/from school so saw male friends daily. I think girls only schools can be bitchy (but then you'd get that in a mixed environment too), there's less chance of disruption and girls are proven to be more involved in STEM subjects in a single sex environment.

There's loads!

Agree with this

Most adults i know who attended girls' schools didn't select it for their children

My DD attended mixed sex and is so much more comfortable around boys than I was

My DD (15) goes to an all-girl grammar school and it's been a very mixed experience. The school has an excellent reputation and has just had a brilliant Ofsted report, yet our personal experience of it has been far from great. In my opinion, it's actually not that great at teaching, organisation or even ethos but they ride on the success of the very bright kids who go there.
Socially, year 7 was really tough, some kind of girl drama every day. Nowadays, my DD is a bit sad she doesn't have a BF. Her friends who went to the local comprehensive (also a good school, mixed sexes) all have some kind of boy interest/crush/BF. My DD does a drama club and there's a bunch of boys there but apparently they're mostly gay, so they make brilliant friends but that's it.
If I could go back, I'd try to get my daughter into the local school and let her live a more balanced life.
Having said all that, academically she's absolutely smashed it and has the work ethic, attitude and vocabulary of a 20 year old. People can't believe she's only 15. So maybe not being around boys has been beneficial as there's been less distraction and more focus on her work.

I went to an all girls school and so did my daughter (different one to me) and we both loved it. There at least two single sex girls state schools in our area and neither and neither are grammar.
If it makes a difference, we both did STEM A-levels, no perception of “boys’ versus girls’” subjects and no being the only or one of few girls in a male-dominated classroom.

If it’s Denmark Road be very wary. Everyone I know has had a terrible experience there.

Hurrah!

No, but if the OP reads the whole thread she will see that the women whose experience was that there was a lot of cliquiness and bullying are very much in the minority.

FWIW I was terribly bullied in a mixed school, both mentally and physically by girls. Esoecially by the bitchy clique.

Never seen it listed as a reason not to send a girl to a mixed school. Nasty girls will be in all schools.

That doesn’t make this poster’s experience any less valid.

Not my experience or my daughter's.

I went to a selective all girls school, in the mid 80s. Started a year later due to moving house. Difficult as friendships established but omg the girls were bitchy. I was bullied especially in the first couple of years.

Yes that's true. It appears that girls are a good influence. Who knew?