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AIBU?

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AIBU to regret a beach holiday with my adult daughter?

256 replies

Mumin40s · 18/08/2026 17:47

I am away with my DD in her 20’s and I am feeling frustrated and not sure how to address this or just never go on holiday with her ever again! We are on a pool/beach holiday and she was really excited to come. I paid for the whole trip.

I think (more than ever now) she’s ND but she’s not diagnosed.

I am quite body confident even though I am not a supermodel, I’m mid 40’s, I do my best but don’t care what anyone thinks. I also don’t take long to get ready, am quite low maintenance. I am also happy to go with the flow with plans, I am flexible and don’t mind what we do, or if someone else has a preference.

DD has come away with the bare minimum and frankly unsuitable suitable holiday clothing and shoes. This isn’t because of money, she works and spends loads on clothes and shoes. She spends all day worrying about her hair/makeup/swimwear and spends 2+ hours getting ready for us to just lounge around the hotel. It’s hot so all her make up comes off in about 20 mins anyway. She has bad skin but won’t go to the GP about it. No one is allowed to ever take photos of her but also she’s intolerant of me taking photos of anything including myself. She is constantly caring about what anyone else around us might think. She constantly is complaining it’s hot, she’s sweaty, she needs to wash her hair, she’s only happy when she’s had a fresh shower and is in air con indoors, but she also complained the air con was too cold.

I’m not allowed to make noise in our room, like play music to get ready to, talk to other people on holiday, have fun, leave her alone, or pretty much anything. She won’t go in the pool, she hasn’t got a book, she just sits looking grumpy all day. She won’t go to the bar by herself. When I ask her if she’s ok, she says she’s fine.

We just eat, drink, lay on a lounger, move around a bit but there is zero fun and I’m not even sure how to create fun with her being so intolerant of basically anything. I tried to get her to have some cocktails to loosen her up and she told me she had googled it and she could get liver damage from the alcohol 😳

I’ve spent this holiday so far slightly drunk to zone out from her constant negativity 😂

I did prepare her we were going for one nice meal this trip and she has worn what I think is a ridiculous outfit for 30 degree heat and a smart casual establishment and I’m not sure we are going to be allowed in!

Is this kids of today or just my daughter? As I don’t know where she gets this from it’s not me!

OP posts:
FeliciaFancybottom · 18/08/2026 18:03

RoseField1 · 18/08/2026 18:00

You must have known she was like that? Her personality can't be a surprise to you?

I was just about to say the same thing. It almost reads as if you've never met her before!

bananaboats · 18/08/2026 18:02

It does sound draining but is this a change of personality for her? Surely youve been on holiday with her before?

RoseField1 · 18/08/2026 18:00

You must have known she was like that? Her personality can't be a surprise to you?

hattie43 · 18/08/2026 17:59

Shes of an age that you don’t have to be Siamese twins , go out for the day, market nice lunch boat ride , get some time away .

Mumin40s · 18/08/2026 17:55

JulietteHasAGun · 18/08/2026 17:52

Are you somewhere where you could go and do something/see something rather than just be on sun loungers all day? Because unless you’re happy reading a book that does sound a bit pants.

I think you need to let the negativity wash over you to some extent, apart from quietly trying to jolly things along I guess. She could be well out her comfort zone and struggling. She doesn’t have to drink and if she wants to spend 2 hours getting ready and no photos to be taken of her that’s up to her. Does she think she’s ND? Can you support her getting a diagnosis when she’s home?

leaving the hotel to walk around would be even hotter, she knows it was all inclusive from the start so going out would also mean spending money!

She has allergies, she didn’t pack any antihistamines so has spent the whole trip with the allergies.

I don’t even mind reading a book or having fun or going out I don’t care but she’s not even fun chatting or having any kind of interactions. It’s just a long stretch of time in a lot of silence or complaining

OP posts:
JulietteHasAGun · 18/08/2026 17:52

Are you somewhere where you could go and do something/see something rather than just be on sun loungers all day? Because unless you’re happy reading a book that does sound a bit pants.

I think you need to let the negativity wash over you to some extent, apart from quietly trying to jolly things along I guess. She could be well out her comfort zone and struggling. She doesn’t have to drink and if she wants to spend 2 hours getting ready and no photos to be taken of her that’s up to her. Does she think she’s ND? Can you support her getting a diagnosis when she’s home?

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