To say if you have something to ask me don’t demand a phone call?

Errr you mentioned cancer

Honestly you sound self absorbed. I get you're tired but surely you can just confirm everything is ok and cut the call short. I'm thankful my kids don't object to me calling unless I have an emergency.

I said earlier in the thread he's difficult. So there is a reason I feel this way. Jesus who mentioned cancer apart from you? It won't be that. Trust me.

“Hi, dad. I’m really tired and frazzled now as I’ve just completed my thesis and I’m not really up to talking. Is it urgent or if not, could it wait a bit? xx “

Why doesn’t anyone want to talk to each other any more? It’s so much more efficient, avoids ambiguity given how easily written communication can be misinterpreted, and gives some much needed human contact.

Wait until you’re old, OP. You will long for the comfort of another human voice.

Yes this i dont see the issue

My DP’s mum is a bit like this. All her messages are cryptic and I almost feel like they’re designed to either instill anxiety or confuse. She will call about things that aren’t particularly urgent or could’ve been a message. I don’t think she’s manipulative on purpose but she makes things more than they need to be

He's tried to call you and you didn't answer so he's asking you to call when you're free. Would it be better if he just kept calling until you answered? I don't get what the issue is. That generation don't text as much as we do.

And what about the stress that put him through. he was relived from no doubt several weeks of worry, and you can't be bothered to support him.

You sound exceptionally selfish OP. all your comments are about how you feel and with no consideration for your parents at all.

Thesis or cancer? - I know which one I would see as more significant if you asked me to choose. But you appear so self absorbed that you can't see this. you actually come across as a stroppy hormonal teenager not a 30 yr old adult.

Just say “Hey dad i am reslly frazzled i will be houng into my cave fir lots of dleep for a week so my phone may be iff - is everything ok ? You got me a bit worried “

Just ring him tomorrow morning before you go to work and tell him from the start you don't have long because you need to get ready for work.

wasting my time? I've just finished a bloody thesis today. If I want to mess about on mumsnet I will.

I'm with you OP. Just message me - so much less intrusive when I'm tired or got 101 things to do. But don't get me started on voice notes - PITA.

Can you just reply for now
"Sorry Dad, I'm exhausted. Do you need talk to me today, or can it wait till im a bit better?'

Do you even like your dad? You’re wasting your time on Mumsnet instead?

so far 75% think you are unreasonable (I’d use a different word myself)

This is a joke thread, right?

I hope for your sake OP it’s not bad news. Tbh I find it a bit exhausting when family members expect me to remember that they told me they had a,b,c going on 3 weeks ago.

Would it hurt to text back reminding him what you’re up to and asking if it can wait?

It sounds more like you don't want a phone call with him rather than a phone call in general.

I get it, my ex is the same and always calls rather than sending messages. Its because he loves the sound of his own voice, is never happier than when he has a captive audience, and will add useless information into every conversation that would be boring fpr him to type out. 9 times out of 10 he's calling to whine about something or let me down with dc, so I actually dread his calls as they're so draining.

You could have used the time and effort you've spent writing and responding to this thread speaking to him and getting it over with.

I am Gen X. I don't do messages, just speaking to people. Speak / don't speak, either is fine, but all a message will provoke from me is a phone call or a response that says "call me when you can". I prefer to interact directly with fellow members of my species rather than writing shit.

And voice notes - don't even get me started on those. They are the Devil's work.

YABU He doesn’t want to just ask you something, he wants a chat.
Does he know what a ‘tiring’ day you’ve had? If not your response is harsh. Just text him and tell him you’ll call him later on in the week when you have time for him

Congratulations on your thesis!

I also can't stand this. If it's an emergency, yes I want to talk to you. But if it's just to ask what Aunt Mavis's cat is called, then no, I don't want to chat right now.

It annoys me at work too. If I'm reviewing a report for submission, then I only want to call you if it's urgent, otherwise I'll call you when I'm done - but the "can you call me?" Teams message isn't giving me enough information to prioritise!

OP, I'd either leave to see if more information is forthcoming or message and say you can't talk right so send the question or you'll call him back tomorrow

Doesn’t his message just mean “call me when it’s convenient for you”? It’s a pain listening to voicemails especially if they say ‘can you call me back please’. Some questions aren’t appropriate for text, or come with an explanation or back story or a bit of back and forth. It’s just a normal question, normal text.

I think you’re the problem in this instance, don’t think he did anything wrong.