To say if you have something to ask me don’t demand a phone call?

Phone calls are exhausting

Good grief.

Why doesn’t anyone want to talk to each other any more? It’s so much more efficient, avoids ambiguity given how easily written communication can be misinterpreted, and gives some much needed human contact

Quite. I can't understand it at all. One texted question can result in having to sit and text for the next half hour to iron out misunderstandings and missed nuances. Just pick up the bloody phone and talk. You only have to sit on your bum to do that.

YABU
Just speak with him, you can put him on speaker while you do things you need to do.

@ScullyD Based on your OP you’re an absolute melt.

I get it, you’re exhausted. Don’t want to talk to anyone. But call back, say hi I’ve only got 1 min, and nod and then hang up. You’ve got this and WELL THE FUCK DONE.

If he's looking for a one-sided conversation where the other person takes the roll of audience, I'd say fair enough. But only the OP knows what the calls are actually like!

What a sad society we’ve become where a dad wanting to have a phone conversation with his daughter rather than type messages back and forth is “manipulative”.

My mum wants me to call her for every little thing. It drives me mad. I think there is some extra cognitive load for her in typing out text messages and she’s trying to avoid that, but yes, she also just wants to talk to me. I try to accommodate it as much as I can and if I can’t I send a message saying I don’t have time to call right now and will get back to her as soon as I can.

I'm with you OP. If it's not urgent then surely it can wait and if he's not a considerate conversationalist and just talks about himself the whole time then I wouldn't be doing chatty phone calls at all. Does he actually allow you to end the call when you want or need to or does he try to override that? I had someone like that in my life for a long time and we no longer have any contact at all because of it. Not a parent but god knows I'd have lost the will to live a long time ago if it had been.

Congratulations on submission! I am half-way through a Masters, 1 module and 1 dissertation to go! I have completed 5 modules, each with 2 pieces of work. I am knackered after they each go in. But I will share my last few months with you. Last Dec I submitted an essay fot the 4th module. I had done 2 overnights the week before, so was pretty tired, but needed to push on with the smaller submission. My mum (age 90) called late that evening to say my (estranged) brother was ill and had been taken to hospital. I was brusque, said I could help later in the week but was proceeding with course. It means so much that nothing else matters. He was dead the following day and formally declared dead 2 days later. So of course my priority had to change. Uni have been great. But the support needs to go on. Eg Mum called tonight. Problems again with OCADO, so I will have to go over and deal with it, as well as my brother's small but complex estate. I don't mind the phone calls, providing it is not expected daily. I have several friends ( we are all late 50s/early 60s) who have daily calls, but they have larger families to share the load. So yes phone your dad, but have a cut-off excuse ready at eg 30 mins.

You sound delightful 🤨

Congrats on your thesis!

Don’t waste the opportunity to chat with your dad on the phone, even if you’re tired or annoyed. One day you will no longer have the chance to do this. X

I’m not a digital native, I was on this planet for 40 years before texting became commonplace, but it seems sad to me that people have become positively phobic about actually talking to people.

Could be worse. My mum has a full conversation with my voicemail and still doesnt get to the point as to why she was ringing.

Your so rude especially why you made a dig about the bowel cancer calls

And was I wrong

This is ridiculous! Imagine you had some serious problems.

@dogproblems1 Not everyone is the same but you've lumped together a whole group of MNers with the age thing.

YABU to not want to speak to your dad because you met your deadline, it’s an achievement but it’s not the end of the world.

YANBU to mind the “can you give me a call?” without any further info and finding it unnerving. My mum does it a lot and I freak out and it’s usually something like “have you spoken to your brother recently” or “when’s a good time for me to visit”. My mum also won’t just phone me herself but demands I phone her which given she’s retired and I’m in an office is cheeky. I have pointed out it’s much easier to pop out to answer a call than pop out to make a call.

It's not precious, I am autistic so I take time to process, that's all. Not everything is people being precious or spoiled, disabled people exist you know

I hate talking on the phone (older millennial).

I think to me it feels like a demand and I'm rather demand avoidant, makes me anxious. I struggle to process verbal information and much prefer text/email so I can process and then reply.

Mobile phones mean we are always contactable and I hate the expectation that comes with that.

Just get some rest OP. Sounds like you need it and that's fine. If he sulks he sulks.

Top tip, set a loud timer for five or ten minutes into a call if you suspect it may be a long and draining one.

I'm old. I hate talking on the phone and try my best to never do it.