To say if you have something to ask me don’t demand a phone call?

That's exactly what not to do. OP wants to switch off - to recharge an overstimulated brain after several days/weeks of intense concentration and stress.
She needs junk TV, gentle pottering or mindless scrolling. All low energy, no concentration required.

Both @ScullyD and the name change of @LoisLaneKent have very weird posting histories. This OP is a funny one that is for sure.

My Dad used to do this. I'd be knee deep in work, my masters and caring for my children and yes, I'd sigh and it would frustrate the hell out of me.
That being said, he passed away earlier this year and I would literally do anything, anything for another of those texts and calls.
Also...telling you he had a cancer scare isn't unimportant. It was probably terrifying. This is were empathy comes in OP. Try to remember nothing is permanent in this life and one day you'll wish you had listened for ten minutes because, when all is said and done, I'd have my Dad before worrying about any thesis.

I think you're over reacting sorry unless he is normally very demanding. He sent you one message to say 'can you call me please' which is a polite request not a demand. Its totally fine to ask if its urgent and say if not you'll call him I'm a couple of days because you're very busy

Many older people prefer a phone call to messages.

I understand to a degree . I hate using the phone and am very worn out by being a single mum and a full time carer to a disabled child, I’m being assessed for ASD and the summer holidays are really hard , I just need down time alone occasionally in my room . This is when my dad always texts me he needs to talk . I’ve learnt over time it’s never an emergency , he’s in his 80s with cancer and a full time carer for my mum with advanced Alzheimer’s and has no one else to talk to . Sometimes I just take a deep breath and talk to him , if I really can’t face the human contact I say I have a bad headache and will call him later / tomorrow . I appreciate how lonely it must be for him and he won’t be around forever and I don’t want to regret not talking to him in the future .

This OP is continuing the conversation using two user names during one thread.

I'm sure that even all knowing you doesn't see that very often..

How selfish of you. One day he wont be there to want to have a chat with his daughter, then you'll have all the peace you want.

This

In short - you're feeling grumpy and overthinking the whole thing. Put your phone on silent and go have a nap.

He's asking you to phone him not drop everything and go around and visit him.
My dad can be difficult (he's in his 80s) but I wouldn't be annoyed if he tried to phone me and then left a message saying can you ring me. He's just asking you to call back.
You don't like talking on the phone, I understand that but you're talking to your dad not a stranger.
If it matters that much then just don't bother or just text him but having a busy few weeks is a pretty rubbish excuse for not speaking to your dad.

OP, be wary of turning an anecdote into a statement of fact.

I know! I’ve heard it all now.

Can’t you just give him a quick ring, tell him you’re going out shortly, and just have a little chat?

You sound very self absorbed.

Maybe as youve got older you’ve got more difficult? He wants to ask you something - give him a call. You sound the selfish one. Its all me me me

Where did he ‘demand’ you called him? He simply asked if you could call him ‘please’

What a sad society we’ve become where a dad wanting to have a phone conversation with his daughter rather than type messages back and forth is “manipulative”.

^
This

And I bet he didn’t demand and just asked for a call back.

Your parents just want to maintain a relationship with you. To them, texts are handy tools for brief exchanges of information. Actually speaking to someone in real time is deeper, more meaningful, more authentic. They just want to maintain connection. That doesn’t have to be hours long conversations or monologues. [I’m sorry, Dad, but I have to let you go now. I have to meet Elizabeth, return a jumper to M&S, get the chicken for a curry…] Maybe you could arrange ONE day every week to speak to your parents, so they won’t feel they have to nag you to talk to them.

Tone in texts is notoriously easy to misinterpret.

Welcome to the 'elderly parents' phase of life. I really dislike phone calls as to me they are an instant demand upon your time. My mother's 'terrible day' can consist of not being able to work the TV. All you need to do is message to say "I'm exhausted and will call you as soon" or feign illness like a little white lie. That said, the bowel cancer investigation will have been a massive worry for him, and I think you are being exceptionally cruel about it.

Congratulations on the thesis! My daughter has just received her doctorate and I've never seen her so burned out as she was after handing it in. It's fine to take some mental time for yourself.

She and I have an agreement that if either of us randomly tries to call the other at a not regularly agreed time, we send a quick text first to say we have a few spare minutes and are about to call, nothing is wrong, and only pick up if you are free and happy to talk. Maybe you could institute something like that?

Why good grief? If they're not exhausting for you, fantastic, but surely you can understand that people can experience the same thing in very different ways? Personally I would find half an hour of texting to be about 1% of the effort of 10 minutes on the phone, although I've never found myself in the situation others are describing here where everyone gets lost due to nuance and misunderstanding etc! We're all different!

Did he ever have to work on a thesis? If not, he may not realize how stressful it is and how much it can take over your life. It’s good that he texted to ask to talk to you. If you want to shut down for a few days, you can just text back, “Can’t talk for a few days. How about Thursday at 11:30?” Just make an appointment with him. He’ll back off. You can relax.

Yes me with my dyslexic son. Literally every 3rd message is me going "did you mean that word?".