To say if you have something to ask me don’t demand a phone call?

The OP has posted 12 times on this thread and not mentioned poor health, disability or neurodivergence once.

Are you saying she's either very forgetful or that you know more about her health than she does?

Why do you think it's an excuse? It's just the reality that many people with health issues or neurodivergence live with. I find it insane that people are so lacking in awareness when we have such high levels of poor health, disability and neurodivergence. OP has said she finds the phone exhausting and draining. Why dismiss something that someone has told you about how they experience something just because it's not how you experience something.

Oh for goodness sake the excuses 🙄🙄

Embarrassing.

Doing a degree that she is so proud of but doesn't have the sense to distinguish between a request from a demand. God help us all.

What was the test? Was it the routine NHS FIT test for 50-74 year olds to be done at home and then posted? I've had this and when it was negative it wasn't even something that I mentioned to my adult children.

He does sound rather manipulative and attention seeking.

have you now spoken to him? What did he want?@

For many people, hours or even days on the internet can be far less draining than a few minutes on the phone. Fatigue is a feature of many conditions and of neurodiversity among other things. Many people live with conditions that are undiagnosed. I wouldn't have managed a phone call for many weeks after completing something like a thesis although it doesn't sound like the OP is quite as bad as I am.

Today I submitted my thesis, I’m a mature student in early 30s. I’ve spent most of the day napping and I’m really exhausted. The last year has been very intense.

This really doesn't stop you picking up the phone and having a chat with your dad. Not sure what being a mature student has to do with it - those ten years younger manage both.

Same! I’d give anything to speak to my dad again.

I agree!

One of my friends goes on about ‘life admin’ and how it keeps her so busy. She lives alone but always chocker (yes I know single people can be busy, and no kids doesn’t mean not busy) but when I speak to her then it turns out ‘life admin’ includes washing her hair! So, just life, the same as everyone else.

FGS just call your dad back

Everyone gets a regular bowel cancer screening after 50

Its no bigger a deal than a woman’s regular smear test ffs!

You were on this thread for two hours last night but we're too exhausted to have a quick chat with your Dad. Nice one.

He sounds like the more self centred one to me - she says that the calls are always about him. She doesn't even expect him to ask about her thesis and he doesn't even seem to know that his daughter doesn't like the phone.

actually I have no issue with this.

People were the same when voicemails first came out and people left a message saying “it’s x. Can you call me back”.

Not everything can be translated well in text. He tired to call. He left a message to ask him to call him back.

Surely at your convenience that’s actually better than himjust trying to call again - when it’s inconvenient to you?

I'm amazed that YOU find HIM selfish! 👀

The world doesn't stop spinning because you've decided to do something that benefits you.

You're too exhausted to have a quick chat with your dad, but fine to sit on the internet moaning to strangers about him?

I expect when he's gone you'll be starting a thread bemoaning your lack of inheritance.

this is a two sided scenario - one does and needs it, one hates it - compromise and respect is what's required.

Edited to add: this isn't a relationship though, this is a very one sided sad situation where a father wants and expects an adult relationship with his daughter, but she is so self centred she has zero regard for him. He hasn't recognised that yet, and I truly hope for his own sake that he doesn't.

Congratulations, definitely rest and recuperate after submitting your thesis

My mum doesn't like messages and she's not great on the phone. I used to find phoning her when I got off the train on my way to work. It was a 7-10.minute walk and it was just perfect for a quick call where she got to ask what she needed without I long awkward conversation that I don't know how to exit without offending her.

Not if the person you're phoning doesn't like phone calls though. You don't nurture relationships with people who don't like phone calls by phoning them. That is not kind, sociable or empathetic.

What I wouldn’t give to have the opportunity to have another call with my late father or mother. Get over yourself. He’s your dad and wants a chat. Could be big could be nothing.

Just finished up your thesis
and you choose to celebrate bitching about your dad on Mumsnet

My Dad was great. He didn't call very often and when he did it was for something important. But he sent me very long emails full of what he was up to, family history, things he'd been listening to or watching. I could read them at my leisure and respond in kind when I had time, often a day or more later. A wonderful, no stress way of connecting.