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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be alarmed after a defendant contacted me?

219 replies

ShapeofanLonmyforehead · 17/08/2026 11:20

I was a witness for an incident that took place near my home some months ago. It ended up going to court and although I didn’t attend in person, my statement was provided in court. I was assured it was all anonymous as the person in question is violent.

fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, this individual has written to me from prison (not yet sentenced) offering me money to write to them. The letter is hand written and contains my full name and address. I am absolutely livid that they’ve somehow got my information, I’ve rang the police who sent me a text later on to say it’s a non-reportable crime.. and the witness support agent person emailed to say she’s passed the information on to the case lead, but I’ve heard nothing back in weeks and I just want to know how in the world he got my information and why he’s been allowed to write to me with bribes.

I have two young kids at home, the last thing I want is some POS contacting me.

OP posts:
Shedmistress · 21/08/2026 07:42

Lovemycat2023 · 21/08/2026 07:37

Someone was on remand for an offence and then convicted and got a suspended sentence? That doesn’t really go together. You wouldn’t be on remand for an offence which wasn’t serious and then if it was serious you wouldn’t get a suspended sentence. I’m confused.

Perhaps he also wrote to the judge?

Wherethedogsits · 21/08/2026 07:44

That’s awful. As a victim of a violent crime resulting in ptsd this has always been one of my worst fears.

grumpygrape · 21/08/2026 08:49

Lovemycat2023 · 21/08/2026 07:37

Someone was on remand for an offence and then convicted and got a suspended sentence? That doesn’t really go together. You wouldn’t be on remand for an offence which wasn’t serious and then if it was serious you wouldn’t get a suspended sentence. I’m confused.

Unusual but not impossible.

I'm not saying I disbelieve the OP but am very concerned if the Police were not interested.

TempusFuckit · 21/08/2026 12:59

Lovemycat2023 · 21/08/2026 07:37

Someone was on remand for an offence and then convicted and got a suspended sentence? That doesn’t really go together. You wouldn’t be on remand for an offence which wasn’t serious and then if it was serious you wouldn’t get a suspended sentence. I’m confused.

I've been in court when this has happened more than once. The thinking is basically that an immediate custodial sentence would effectively let them out unsupervised very soon, if not on the day, because the time they've been on remand counts towards the sentence.

But if you do a suspended sentence, you can attach conditions to make them go to rehab sessions with probation etc for a year or two. So it allows the system to keep closer tabs on them, and should reduce the chance of reoffending.

Switchnow · 21/08/2026 16:41

Lovemycat2023 · 21/08/2026 07:37

Someone was on remand for an offence and then convicted and got a suspended sentence? That doesn’t really go together. You wouldn’t be on remand for an offence which wasn’t serious and then if it was serious you wouldn’t get a suspended sentence. I’m confused.

It happens loads - this is from 2023 but probably not much different now. People aren’t only remanded for serious offences, and not all people accused of serious offences are remanded. https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/6644d25dbd01f5ed32793c5d/infographic-cjsq-2023.pdf

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/6644d25dbd01f5ed32793c5d/infographic-cjsq-2023.pdf

Original poster
ShapeofanLonmyforehead · 21/08/2026 20:25

Lovemycat2023 · 21/08/2026 07:37

Someone was on remand for an offence and then convicted and got a suspended sentence? That doesn’t really go together. You wouldn’t be on remand for an offence which wasn’t serious and then if it was serious you wouldn’t get a suspended sentence. I’m confused.

Yeah well I’m just as baffled as you, I’ve been told he’s persistent, dangerous, me officer emailed me to say he ‘hopefully’ get sentenced for a ‘long time’ and then literally the next day he was sentenced and they were all suspended sentences. You can probably understand my frustration.

I’ve written to our MP now. I’ve tried to get hold of several other people from the police force and everyone is either on holiday or hasn’t got back to me in weeks now so I’m fed up.

OP posts:
Lovemycat2023 · 21/08/2026 20:27

ShapeofanLonmyforehead · 21/08/2026 20:25

Yeah well I’m just as baffled as you, I’ve been told he’s persistent, dangerous, me officer emailed me to say he ‘hopefully’ get sentenced for a ‘long time’ and then literally the next day he was sentenced and they were all suspended sentences. You can probably understand my frustration.

I’ve written to our MP now. I’ve tried to get hold of several other people from the police force and everyone is either on holiday or hasn’t got back to me in weeks now so I’m fed up.

Show quote history

Another poster above shared a good visual about how it’s not actually that unusual so I stand corrected. And ICO formal complaint is the way forward - good luck.

CandidHedgehog · 22/08/2026 12:51

If he got less than 12 months, there is a new Sentencing Act that says all sentences under 12 months must be suspended unless a very limited exception applies.

It’s meant to address prison overcrowding.

MatronPomfrey · 22/08/2026 14:45

Lovemycat2023 · 21/08/2026 07:37

Someone was on remand for an offence and then convicted and got a suspended sentence? That doesn’t really go together. You wouldn’t be on remand for an offence which wasn’t serious and then if it was serious you wouldn’t get a suspended sentence. I’m confused.

Sometimes the offence someone is on remand for is serious enough that they got remanded. Then when they go to court, they plea guilty to a lower offence which is accepted by the CPS. I work for the MOJ. First thing I do is compare the original charges to the actual conviction.

Original poster
ShapeofanLonmyforehead · 22/08/2026 17:20

CandidHedgehog · 22/08/2026 12:51

If he got less than 12 months, there is a new Sentencing Act that says all sentences under 12 months must be suspended unless a very limited exception applies.

It’s meant to address prison overcrowding.

They were all over 24-28 months 😩 I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s to do with overcrowding.. but jeez can’t they just kick out one of the mums who took their kids on holiday during term time?

OP posts:
Switchnow · 22/08/2026 17:41

ShapeofanLonmyforehead · 22/08/2026 17:20

They were all over 24-28 months 😩 I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s to do with overcrowding.. but jeez can’t they just kick out one of the mums who took their kids on holiday during term time?

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And put him in a women’s prison? Er, no…

Two2TooAlsoToToward · 22/08/2026 17:42

ShapeofanLonmyforehead · 19/08/2026 18:50

Police had admitted to a GDPR breach on their end, but that’s it. No apology, no investigation. Just ‘there’s been a GDPR breach on our end’ 🙃

I’d follow up on this—sounds like you’re not banging on doors high enough up the org chart. GDPR breaches, by law, don’t allow for an, “Oh well, we had a GDPR breach. 🤷‍♀️” WHAT, exactly, is being DONE? Heads are supposed to roll for this sort of thing. They could get serious fines if they aren’t complying with the law.

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 22/08/2026 18:00

Switchnow · 22/08/2026 17:41

And put him in a women’s prison? Er, no…

Show quote history

No, obviously have a separate wing for the men!

Switchnow · 22/08/2026 18:08

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 22/08/2026 18:00

No, obviously have a separate wing for the men!

Show quote history

That’s not how it works, mens and women’s prisons are completely separate.

Nearly50omg · 22/08/2026 18:39

Write to the judge and the lawyers involved is my recommendation

Original poster
ShapeofanLonmyforehead · 23/08/2026 22:41

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 22/08/2026 18:00

No, obviously have a separate wing for the men!

Show quote history

Obviously I don’t actually think anyone in prison for a legitimate reason should be let out to replace someone else (I don’t think.. hmm) but I do like highlighting that while our prisons are at capacity (men’s or women’s I don’t care) parents are still being threatened with jail time for school attendance. I think it’s just a bit naff.

OP posts:
Switchnow · 23/08/2026 23:45

ShapeofanLonmyforehead · 23/08/2026 22:41

Obviously I don’t actually think anyone in prison for a legitimate reason should be let out to replace someone else (I don’t think.. hmm) but I do like highlighting that while our prisons are at capacity (men’s or women’s I don’t care) parents are still being threatened with jail time for school attendance. I think it’s just a bit naff.

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Agree it’s ridiculous to have a prison option for non-attendance. I think it’s quite rare it’s used though.

grumpygrape · 24/08/2026 10:55

ShapeofanLonmyforehead · 23/08/2026 22:41

Obviously I don’t actually think anyone in prison for a legitimate reason should be let out to replace someone else (I don’t think.. hmm) but I do like highlighting that while our prisons are at capacity (men’s or women’s I don’t care) parents are still being threatened with jail time for school attendance. I think it’s just a bit naff.

Show quote history

The highest punishment for school nonattendance is a Community order, not prison. It's only, and very rarely, if fines for the nonattendance aren't paid that someone might be facing prison, unless you know of a specific case.

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