AIBU to have the ick over this?

Dump him!!!

It took a while before he was dumped. It was gradually becoming apparent that he was on the autism spectrum (apparently unsuspected by his entire family despite it being screamingly obvious to everyone else) so I cut him a lot of slack for things that I ought to have pulled him up on immediately. But it was this utter lack of any caring about the fact that I was hungry, because HE was all right so everything was hunky dory, that put another nail in the coffin because it was really not a decent way to behave.

I want to know this too…..

That’s awful- did d you dump him as soon as you arrived home? What was his response?

Good point! @Moonnstarz

I wonder if he’s a tight wad down the pub with his mates? Never buys a round. Disappeared to the gents when glasses get emptier?

How could he let your kid stand there watching his kid eat an ice cream? That’s just …. words fail me.

Ditch him, ditch him asap. Let us know how the ditching process goes!

I shudder to imagine the money I spent on ice-creams and ice-pops when my kids were younger.

Every child out playing on the road was given one. It's how we all did it here, and how everyone I know does it.

I had this situation last week. (No children involved). If I were not prepared to treat the whole group I would not buy any.

Sorry he turned out to be such a looser. Dump him and hopefully you find a kind caring partner.

Part of me wonders whether he passed these presents off as being from him!
@InconsiderateBoyf did the child ever thank you for gifts you gave them?

HRTHT. I will do, but I just had to quickly say, no, no, noooo, you don't do that to a child. That is plain wicked and breaks the ultimate adult/kid law there is! Shame on him.

No when it comes to kids u treat em all

As many others have said, I would have bought all kids who were part of the group ice creams. Whatever your financial situation you cannot not buy a kid in your group an icecream and buy one for the other!! If is is just auto-pilot, it is even worse - my autopilot would be the opposite! My DP is more frugal than I am, and earns less, but no question of treating my kid like this. And, if he had, the relationship would not have any legs. Maybe it is time to call this one to a close. Seems like this isn't the only issue either, but even if it were, it would be a big one.

"Since we've been together, I have bought his child gifts for birthday and xmas (although I wasn't there to give them myself)... he's never bought my child a card or present for an occasion"

So you are, or have been in the past, ok with someone treating your child like this? Put the child first, please. Get rid.

Ebenezer Scrooges’s tighter/meaner younger brother!!
This is who he is and he can’t change - he might try but he really doesn’t care enough for you or your child I’m afraid.
It would be a game changer for me too.

Don't waste another minute of your life with this twat.

The ick is your monkey brain telling you something that your human brain tries to explain and rationalise away. This isn’t a big offence but you’ve noticed it - I expect there are lots of other very small ways in which this man is ungenerous and they don’t really register with your conscious brain.

I think some people are being deliberately obtuse.

The problem is his selfishness being an automatic thing. I cannot ABIDE selfishness and tightness. But more than that, who does that to a little child??

Even if he hadn't thought (which is a problem) he didn't make any attempt to rectify it!

2 years is a long time for you to be generous with his child whilst he ignores yours.

What a complete tosser. I hope you said something to him.

He's a W⚓️

God NO you are not unreasonable. I mean if I go out with mum friends and one of us goes to ice-cream van, they come back with stuff for all the kids and that's just pals! Let alone a long term boyfriend. He didn't even bother his arsenal to.open his gob and say hey I'm going to get ice-cream do you want to come and get some too or something he clearly didn't want to.pay for you or.your child so just snuck off.

Doesn't sound like he's worth pursuing.

You see I might have forgiven if he had realised his thoughtlessness and rushed to make amends.
What did he actually say??

I don't see how you would do this on autopilot. It sounds to me like in some ways he planned it by him and his child wandering off and then returning with ice creams. I don't know anyone who would do that. Surely at the point of buying one he would have thought about getting back to meet @InconsiderateBoyf and could then have bought her and her child one as well, or messaged to check if he wasn't sure if the daughter was allowed.

Actually editing to add I do recall someone doing this when we were in a group of friends. We all found it rather bizarre. She walked off supposedly to the toilet and then they both returned with ice creams. All the other kids then started pestering for one. I think she was oblivious to the social norms of checking what everyone else is planning before committing to your child.
It was also odd as it was at the start of the day out too, normally with friends ice cream would come after lunch. Apparently her daughter had asked for one and she didn't want to say no.

I wouldn't do this even if were were a random school parent in an awkward playmate situation, where the kids know each other but the parents don't and wouldn't usually hang out and might never again.

And if I could only afford 2 they would be the kids', not one for me. I'm not suprised this has put you off him.