To think this comment from manager was completely inappropriate

So my question was deleted because I said we are expected to read the minds of people and know their backstory before making comments.

Real nice, MN. Maybe get the porn bots first and then come at me for being sensible.

I get called Horrace at work because I eat like a pig and eat anything on offer. It’s always been a long running joke started 17 years ago. I’m not weight conscious though and give as good as I get so no, this wouldn’t bother me at all. You need to be more upset at your lack of resilience. Just move on and stop being so triggered.

You’re the one who brought it up as a comparison for how she “wouldn’t have survived”.

Maybe have a think about how and why assault in the workplace became unacceptable.

That has a malicious tone definitely - you were right to be annoyed.

He was joking and probably trying to bond with you, but it sounds like something within you needs to be healed ❤️

Exactly. It's the height of rudeness to comment on someone's eating, what they're eating, how they're eating, how often they eat etc.

I have had to endure similar shitty comments in the past from people who think they're funny, or that I NEED to hear their comments about my eating... People I know - and people I don't know. Comments like 'fucking hell, you hoovered that up' and 'Jeeeezuz YOU know how to put it away!' and 'never seen a woman eat so much!' (from men AND women!) Always when I wasn't even eating that much. It was just a way to put me down.

One woman who used to work with DH took a disliking to me for some reason... We went out on colleagues nights out 4-5 times a year, (his colleagues) and sometimes we had a meal, and she would say 'Bloody hell Ginger, you won't be able to get out of the door if you eat much more.' and 'watch that waistline ginger, you'll need your jaws wiring up if you're not careful.' Again, when I wasn't even eating a lot.

A couple of people said 'blimey Helen, no need for that,' including DH - but she'd just say 'oh I'm only joking, Ginger is so sensitive!' I hadn't even complained (although I was fucked off) it was a couple of others telling her to shut up and stop it. I rarely eat outside of the house now because of this - except in the privacy of the car... (and occasionally at cafes and restaurants with DH.) I also refused to go on any more employee nights out as long as Helen is there after the third time she said something to me. Luckily she left 2 months ago.

Also, I was out one day at a shopping centre 20 miles from me doing some Christmas shopping last November, and I had only had a small bowl of cereal at 7am and it was 2pm. I had a cheese and cucumber sandwich from a local eatery, and was tucking into it on a bench, and some middle aged man I didn't even fucking know, sat next to me and said 'you'll get ever so fat eating that!' I just looked at him for 3-4 seconds, rolled my eyes and moved to another bench. He looked shocked that I had moved and said loudly 'can't say anything these days, world of fragile snowflakes I swear.' You don't have to be a fragile snowflake to not want some random arsehole coming up to you in public telling you that you'll get 'ever so fat' from eating a sandwich!!!

I did want to say 'who the fuck do you think you are commenting on some random womans lunch and telling her she will get very fat by fucking eating a sandwich for lunch you fuckwit?' But I ignored him, carried on reading my magazine, and felt grateful I wasn't married to the opinionated arsewipe...

Sardines and laxatives?

I don't get it.

Did make me laugh a bit though!

Turn it back on him.

"What do you like to eat Steve? Sardines and laxatives is it?"

Embarrass him.

That's not the point. Adults should be free to eat what they choose without jokes.

It's like some people were just never taught good manners!

No I don’t think it was on a par at all. Jumping to conclusions much?

It was you who brought up the shoddy behaviour you had endured 30 years ago and said that op should be prepared to put up with this rude comment because you have endured far worse.

Utterly ludicrous.

Perhaps when ever he sees you, you are eating. Cake and a donut in one day is not the healthiest.

Best way to manage things like this to retort something crude back.

If people are a) funny and b) decent there's no issue with jokes and humour.

It's only unfunny and thoughtless people who have any issues.

Pretty obvious he saw you a couple of times over the course of the day and both times you happened to be eating. It was just a throwaway comment, get over it.

Yeah, I asked this question too, but @ReadingSoManyThreads hasn't been faffed to respond to me, she's simply posted again doubling down on what she said.

Basically, as has been said, because that poster (and many other women) had to put up with sexual harassment in the workplace, and nothing was done about it - mostly pre mid 1990s - (and any woman who complained was laughed at and told to suck it up,) she thinks the OP should STFU moaning as it's ONLY someone having a go at her eating habits, and accusing her of stuffing her face. I mean, get over yourself girl, grow up, stop whining, it's ONLY a few 'harmless' comments.

FML! 🙄

p.s NO-ONE has said that someone commenting about what you are eating (and saying you're stuffing your face when you are simply eating food,) is as bad as sexual harassment/sexual assault! People are allowed to be upset about either one. It's not a competition.

No-one gets to tell anyone what they areallowed to be upset by. I re-iterate (and some others have said so too) that the comment from @ReadingSoManyThreads (about her experiences in the workplace many years ago,) was extremely unhelpful, and frankly irrelevant to the thread, and the OP's issue...

People me-railing helps no-one.

.

You think someone making a jokey comment about stuffing your face is on a par with normalised sexual assault? Have a word with yourself!

The irony in this. 😆

I’m on the fence here but leaning towards it being a bad comment. I’m a recovering anorexic/bulimic. I will be in recovery till the day I die even though I am well now.

There have been times in my recovery where this comment would have made me feel shame and disgust. I think it’s a comment best left unsaid.

What the fuck. I’m glad I wasn’t in the workplace in your day “surviving” sexual assault.

How is this comment helpful to the OP? Are you saying being groped is ok?
what a strange comment to make .

Me individually? 😂

We don’t have to put up with the rubbish doled out to women even 20 years ago even though some posters seem to think we should.

We have more options.

You think you made progress?

Yeah op.

It was shit in @ReadingSoManyThreads’ day so you should accept it too. 🙄

Cos she had it bad why shouldn’t you?

It’s a wonder we have ever made progress, isn’t it?