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Original poster

Was I wrong to refuse DP a lift meaning he had a £90 taxi?

208 replies

Bethsvint · 16/08/2026 12:50

DP got the train to a nearby city with friends yesterday (a day drinking basically).

He was expecting to get the last train back at 10.30pm. Shortly after this, he called me to say he’d been told to leave the platform by the police. Reason being that he thought it would be a good idea to try to wind up his friends getting a train on the opposite platform by dropping his shorts/boxers and bending over in their direction. This was spotted by police who told him to leave the station or he’d be arrested.

I told him no. It was late, a 45 minute drive each way including the motorway. He got a taxi but is off with me as it cost £90 and he said he’d have picked me up in the same circumstances.

We help each other with lifts usually, have a good relationship and no issues etc.

Was I wrong to have refused?

OP posts:
ItsGettingHotInHerre · 16/08/2026 15:13

He paid for the consequences of his actions rather than you having to pay the cost of 90 minutes of your time plus petrol.

Perhaps he'll think twice about doing it again but if you'd bailed him out the lesson wouldn't have been so memorable.

JHound · 16/08/2026 15:13

In fact I would go further and say your partner is selfish. If my own childish behaviour led to me missing my train I would not call my partner to ask for a lift. I would catch taxi.

Catching taxi also means not having to wait around for 45 minutes and be home a lot quicker.

lazyarse123 · 16/08/2026 15:13

I too would have left him to sort himself out. I would have been seriously unimpressed that he behaved like that in the first place and wouldn't tolerate him being a twat to me about it.

BCBird · 16/08/2026 15:10

I would have been livid he'd asked. He clearly wasn't remorseful or embarrassed Shock

AtlasCedar · 16/08/2026 15:08

Depends do you share finances?

JHound · 16/08/2026 15:08

Hold on I initially read it as he only dropped his trousers. He dropped his underwear too.

So basically he flashed in public. He is lucky it only cost him £90. Maybe he will act like an adult in future.

Switcher · 16/08/2026 15:07

Certainly wouldn't have kids with him...

JHound · 16/08/2026 15:06

Bethsvint · 16/08/2026 12:50

DP got the train to a nearby city with friends yesterday (a day drinking basically).

He was expecting to get the last train back at 10.30pm. Shortly after this, he called me to say he’d been told to leave the platform by the police. Reason being that he thought it would be a good idea to try to wind up his friends getting a train on the opposite platform by dropping his shorts/boxers and bending over in their direction. This was spotted by police who told him to leave the station or he’d be arrested.

I told him no. It was late, a 45 minute drive each way including the motorway. He got a taxi but is off with me as it cost £90 and he said he’d have picked me up in the same circumstances.

We help each other with lifts usually, have a good relationship and no issues etc.

Was I wrong to have refused?

Your husband was being an arse and it cost him £90. You were completely reasonable to decline.

PeachMelbaYoghurt · 16/08/2026 15:05

YANBU

Why should YOU be punished for his immature teenage behaviour?

Serves him right! He should focus his energies on growing the hell up, rather than being off with you.

Pedallleur · 16/08/2026 15:01

MrsVBS · 16/08/2026 14:45

His own fault, why do men think anyone wants to see this, gross.

As my mother said

'Drink in, wits out'

Tiltedd · 16/08/2026 14:57

isn’t he a prince among men?

MCF86 · 16/08/2026 14:56

idiot tax!
I think it was Josh Widdicomb on parenting hell that said it, accept that a certain amount of money a year goes on fixing stupid mistakes.

turnthefanonpls · 16/08/2026 14:55

I’d have got him - surely that’s family money?

Grammarnut · 16/08/2026 14:50

Tell him not to drop his knicks in public and that he's lucky it only cost him £90. Oh, and possibly dump him, he is not a grown up person.

MrsVBS · 16/08/2026 14:45

His own fault, why do men think anyone wants to see this, gross.

AStonedRose · 16/08/2026 14:45

Why are people in relationships with scumbags like this?

AnonyMumAuDHD · 16/08/2026 14:44

SchnitzelAgain · 16/08/2026 12:52

I’m not going to vote because I can see both arguments but I would have picked up my husband because he was very drunk and therefore vulnerable.

See, I’d have left my Dh to it. Not least because he wasn’t abandoned - he was able to get a flipping Uber. If he was big enough and ugly enough to get that drunk he could take the cost of the Uber on the chin and learn the lesson.

Bonkers1966 · 16/08/2026 14:44

He sounds like an immature dickhead.

TheDenimPoet · 16/08/2026 14:41

NotMajorTom · 16/08/2026 12:52

I was going to say you were, but having read why he needed a lift I think it serves him right

Yep, same here. He sounds like an absolute child, and I actually wish they had arrested him.

disturbia · 16/08/2026 14:40

Bethsvint · 16/08/2026 12:57

He didn’t used shared money, it was his own. He was drunk but I’d argue that he was vulnerable, he’s in his 30’s and able to look after himself.

He could have taken a cab to the next station and got the train home from there. I wouldn't have picked him up. If he is angry with you his bad luck for deliberately exposing his privates in public.

ABoldStatement · 16/08/2026 14:37

Miyagi99 · 16/08/2026 14:00

She said she’d ARGUE that he was vulnerable, as in he wasn’t.

Edited
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As far as I've always known, the phrase "I'd argue that [person B] was [this]" means that person making the statement putting forward the claim that person B is that quality, not that he/she isn't.

Catwalking · 16/08/2026 14:36

He’s the 1 being unreasonable!
If I was in your position, I’d have said, I’d had a drink & wont drive.
What if you had children, would he expect you to get them up to drive & pick him up🤨!
…he got off very lightly with a £90 taxi fare imho.

IsItSnowing · 16/08/2026 14:34

Tell him if you ever decide to flash everyone at the station and get thrown out by the police that you won't expect him to come and collect you either.

ABoldStatement · 16/08/2026 14:33

Artesia · 16/08/2026 13:24

Safety? I agree that OP isn't BU to refuse him a lift. But that's cos he was a twat, nothing to do with safety. What would the safety concern would be?

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I wasn't clear but I meant the risk of driving late at night on the motorway, as the OP specified these two points as why she didn't want to do it. If she was already tired as it was 10:30pm , then doing a 1.5 round trip drive at night wouldn't be wise.

WiddlinDiddlin · 16/08/2026 14:31

HollyhocksandPeons · 16/08/2026 13:14

A partner is an euphemism of a fuck-buddy, were you not aware?

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No, it really isn't! I've been with my partner for 21 years, in no way is he a 'fuck buddy' (and I have had fuck buddies prior to current partner).