Was I wrong to refuse DP a lift meaning he had a £90 taxi?

what a bummer!

I’d say the £90 is the very smallest issue here

I think you did the right thing - he behaved like a prize twit!

Just because it's a public place and he was doing it to his mates does not excuse it or lessen the impact on others.

So much this.

I've noticed a lot of people just laugh off this kind of drunken stupidity without caring who else those stupid drunken antics could be affecting.

This guy is in his 30s and behaving like a teenager or a pervert. He's old enough to know exposing himself in a public place is a no go. He's lucky he didn't end up arrested.

Please don't dismiss what this man did as inane, childish or "just mooning" he dropped his trousers and boxers in a public place where there might have been children or teenage girls. He was exposing himself. And I don't care it was 10.30 on a Saturday night. Youngsters and girls are out at that time of night at a train station for all sorts of reasons, travelling back from holiday for example. I have a newly turned 18 year old who catches the train quite a lot, I don't want her to have to put up with that. Just because it's a public place and he was doing it to his mates does not excuse it or lessen the impact on others. It's not about one adult in the relationship "punishing" the other, it's just not brushing it under the carpet it as an acceptable thing to do. I have standards and this falls well below what I would accept from a partner.

Maybe better he got a taxi rather than waiting 45 minutes for you to pick him up and potentially indulging in further stupid behaviour.

I don’t feel like I need to “teach my DP a lesson”. I’m not his mother.

We are a partnership and that means I have his back, and he mine. It doesn’t really matter how much of a prat he’d been, I’d go and pick him up.

But that’s on the basis that we have a great relationship, and that I know he’d always be there for me, even if I’d been stupid. Also, anything like this would be very out of character - if he made a habit of being a twat and expecting me to bail him out, it would be very different.

All of us make stupid decisions sometimes. Even as grown adults, we can be childish or immature. All of us. Amplify that if alcohol is involved. I wouldn’t want a life partner who thought it was their role to punish me, or at the very least, leave me to stew in my own mess (as some of the comments suggest).

Also, at 10.30 on a Saturday night I can’t see that mooning is horrific. It’s childish and inane and it’s not something I can imagine anyone in our friendship groups doing, but still, I couldn’t get that worked up about it.

Interesting though, although I know the police of course were technically right to remove him, they seem to normally just give people a stiff warning for this kind of thing - unless the offender is a bit aggro too. Was your DH likely to have copped an attitude or been mouthy?

Aside from all of that, I would have absolutely mocked DP mercilessly forever! There would have been no chance of him ever forgetting it for that reason alone 😂

He didn't do it on purpose? How did he accidentally drop his pants and flash his bum?

I wouldn't have wanted him in the house, let alone picked him up. Is he fifteen years old?

In the same circumstance he’d have Done it for you… i doubt you’d have put yourself in those circumstances. Pleased he paid from his own money.

I absolutely have my husband's back and if the train had been cancelled I would have picked him up without a second's hesitation. But my husband would not drop his pants in a public place because he's not a pathetic manchild who gets so drunk and thinks exposing himself in a public place is a funny and acceptable thing to do. I'd be absolutely disgusted with him and would have to reconsider my relationship with someone who thought it was. An 18 year old lad? Perhaps, if he was remorseful, but a 30 year old man? Bleugh, how embarrassing! He's lucky he didn't need collecting from the police station.

YANBU

This

Equally you could say he's vulnerable if someone kicks his head in because his face looks a certain way or he has the wrong top on or someone thinks he said something.

So no one should go out alone? And he'd be made less vulnerable by hanging around for 45 minutes waiting for the OP to collect, vs hopping straight into a taxi to be home in that same time?

So he is 'off' with you because you refused to drive for an hour and a half to pick hi up.
Would he expect you to be off with him if you drove 90 mins, used all that petrol etc?

He is out of order. He caused the problem, and he should be ashamed of himself.

"he said he’d have picked me up in the same circumstances."

You can put that to the test next time you expose yourself in public and the police intervene

Perhaps he shouldn't have shown his arse to the plod? Lol. You are not unreasonable.

We have each others' backs.

I have my DH's back, but I would not have his backside ... should he chose to show it in public and get caught.

YANBU and his argument to justify his response is rubbish. Is he really quite sure if you had indecently exposed yourself deliberately in public, he wouldn’t have had something to say about it. I’d tell him to grow up and expect consequences if he wants to behave like an immature schoolboy!

Agree.

Our marriage is a partnership. We have each others' backs.

What a stupid response.

He's vulnerable if someone kicks his head in because he's so drunk.

I'd have picked him up, given that I was usually the dumb drunk idiot who had to be rescued from the consequences of their actions, and it would have been so refreshing that it wasn't me for once, and that I could return the favour! I'd be making sure to remind him not to do a down trou' where the coppers could see him, every time he went out for quite some time to come, and all.

I can see why you wouldn't though.

I’d have picked him up

He was lucky he didn't get arrested.

All in all he got off quite lightly having to pay £90 for a taxi.

No way in hell would I have gone out and driven a one and a half round trip to pick up an adult who got himself thrown out of the station because he chose to get drunk and behave like a stupid, badly behaved teenager.

If the £90.00 will come out of your joint account I would have picked him up. If it’s £90.00 out of his personal money I’d have left him to get a taxi, hopefully the £90.00 loss will make him think about his actions next time.

What?