Was I wrong to refuse DP a lift meaning he had a £90 taxi?

I'd have picked him up and demanded the £90.

Asides from anything else... collecting him would have meant leaving him, drunk and proven not to be able to make sensible choices, standing around waiting for 45 minutes...

Taxi means into a cab and away near instantly and at home in 45 minutes.

So I'd still pick taxi, even if I didn't think it was a case of FAFO.

Yanbu.

He chose to get so drunk that he lost all judgement and capacity to make sensible decisions and did something stupid and antisocial. A lot of people in prison have similar narratives for why they did the monumentally stupid thing that led to someone being killed or injured - being drunk is not a mitigation for culpability, because the choice to get so drunk as to lose judgement is in itself culpable. He is simply lucky that the stupid thing he did was not something that led to more serious consequences. It is quite correct that the consequences - luckily for him just a £90 taxi fare - fall upon him, and maybe he might therefore learn from the experience. It would be totally inappropriate for you to have your evening's rest destroyed in order to save him the inconvenience of having to face the consequences of his stupid decisions.

This!!

I wouldn’t be either so I’m assuming this is an out of character one off. If it’s normal then I’d be divorcing.

£90 is cheap for the value of this story whilst dining out in future. Refusing to pick up will become part of the tail - oops tale. He will thank you for it one day. Not now but one day.

such low standards on here. I wouldn’t even consider staying in a relationship with someone who would get so drunk and out of control that they would expose themselves on a train platform. Never mind pick him up!

Presumably you would dump him anyway.

Having been flashed by a drunk man on a train when I was about 8 (also joking with his friends), I'd take a pretty grim view of any woman who did go and pick her partner up in these circumstances. Hopefully the £90 will teach him a lesson.

Even if he'd been kicked out by the police and nearly arrested?

I would think it served him right.

So many of you seem to actually dislike your partners.

If he was my partner and I cared about him then I'd have picked him up.

I guess it depends - if it’s a total one off then I would. If it was standard, I’d leave him and divorce because I would hate to be married to that. Rare mistakes v his personality. Mood on the phone would also be a factor - hugely apologetic and acknowledging he fucked up is different to a call demanding you get him so that would also factor in. I’m picturing my own circumstances where this would be so far from the norm for dh that I would go and collect, but I can see how different relationships would come to the other decision to leave him.

But you wouldn’t put him in that position by getting pissed and basically flashing, so you are not being unreasonable. Might teach him a lesson!

lol yeah it’s also “absolutely bizarre” that a drunk pensioner got raped behind a church recently. Maybe it’s to do with the English drinking culture but I come from a culture where being drunk is an exception and the person isn’t treated like they need to learn a lesson. Most of you seem to hate your husbands.

I would have picked dh if it was a one off and out of character but would probably not be staying with him if it was a pattern of behaviour.

No it doesn’t; this might shock you but a drunk person is vulnerable. You don’t own the word just because you “truly are.”

I’d have told him that I hope next time he gets bloody arrested and then he might grow up!!!

Youre not unreasonable. No way I’d be driving for 90 minutes to pick up a drunk partner.

His mistake, he wears it.

"How to Enable a Twit so That Others Suffer"

That isn't actually the loving act you sound like you think it is

But he DID do it ‘on purpose’. Nobody forced him to flash his arse (or worse) in a public place!

I’m not his parent, I’m on dh’s side even when he’s wrong.

Sounds like he was lucky to get away with a £90 taxi fare rather than a night in a police cell. He's old enough to know that actions have consequences. Hopefully he's learned his lesson now. I would not have picked him up in those circumstances either. Time he grew up.

Mooning isn’t classed as flashing under U.K. law - hence why OP’s DH wasn’t charged - @SpidersAreShitheads

If you re-read the OP, you'll see that the police told him if he didn't leave the station, he'd be arrested,.

No mooning isn't classed as indecent exposure unless genitalia is exposed. But it could constitute the offence of outraging public decency, which is probably what the police would have charged him with if he hadn't taken their advice and left.

As I said, I don’t really see mooning as a terrible misdemeanour. I appreciate others may feel differently but it’s just not something I can get worked up about tbh.

Mooning is a fairly well-known prank/joke that goes back decades - it’s even in Grease! Mooning has historically been used as either a protest or as a joke, it’s comedic in nature, even if it’s not comedy that you especially appreciate.

Mooning isn’t classed as flashing under U.K. law - hence why OP’s DH wasn’t charged.

A bare arse is childish and inane, but nothing more.

18yr olds who are out late on a Saturday night are going to see a lot worse than a drunk dickhead baring his arse briefly to his mates. Also, go to any beach and they’re going to see pretty much the same with tiny thongs up the arse crack that are practically invisible.

I don’t think mooning is acceptable and I think I made that pretty clear. But I would still go and get my DP even if he’d acted like a twat, because why wouldn’t you? Lots of PP said they would if he had missed his train but not for this reason because he has to learn consequences. So therefore the only reason they’re not going is to what, make his evening worse because he deserves it? That’s a no from me - that’s not a partnership. I expect my DP to be there for me even if I’ve fucked up, and vice versa. Different if this wasn’t a one-off but OP says he’s great usually.