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Original poster

Baby's first birthday to ask for no boxed gifts?

284 replies

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 08:44

Is this reasonable or no. For some context: I have bought all the toys I would like my baby to play with and don't want others gifting toys that I have no space to store. Is it appropriate to ask for no boxed gifts? Thanks

OP posts:
Bacarditropicalfizz · 16/08/2026 09:31

Heronwatcher · 16/08/2026 09:28

Ok so why not call your brother out on this? “DB what are you on about, I’ve never spent £50 on a present nor have you. We’ve all got bills to pay and you/SIL only have one child. It’s a birthday not a pyramid scheme. Get over yourself.”

Your SIL might not even know.

What do the rest of the family think?

Show quote history

Not a pyramid scheme 😆. I love this 🤣🤣

Melograno · 16/08/2026 09:31

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 08:54

Thanks for all your replies. This is what my sister in law has asked everyone to do. She has put on the invites "no boxed gifts". She is expecting everyone to give £50 and above. I have four kids it isn't exactly easy for me to dish out £100 to her. I would have much preferred to buy my own gifts. What would you do in this situation?

Oh its a reverse

WTAF!
£50
Where does this type of controlling behaviour come from?
Just buy a book or a small gift voucher
Dont feed this type of controlling nonsense or it will be going on for years

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 16/08/2026 09:30

Namechangingregularly · 16/08/2026 09:29

Well that’s the last thing I would do. But we are all different!

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What would you do then if you’d been told “no boxed gifts” which is a euphemism for “give me money”.

Namechangingregularly · 16/08/2026 09:29

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 16/08/2026 09:28

Well they can’t expect it but that doesn’t mean you have to give it! This is the absolute height of entitlement and rudeness.

I’d ask if there’s a savings account in the baby’s name because you’d like to contribute towards that. Please let you have the details so you can make a bank transfer.

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Well that’s the last thing I would do. But we are all different!

McSpoot · 16/08/2026 09:28

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 09:24

@Youhadrambledonfor18pagesWe have a family WhatsApp group and she mentioned in there that she wants family to only give money. My brother keeps indirectly saying how they are expecting family to give 50 or above

Why is your SIL getting all the blame if it’s your brother that is hinting about the amount?

Heronwatcher · 16/08/2026 09:28

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 09:24

@Youhadrambledonfor18pagesWe have a family WhatsApp group and she mentioned in there that she wants family to only give money. My brother keeps indirectly saying how they are expecting family to give 50 or above

Ok so why not call your brother out on this? “DB what are you on about, I’ve never spent £50 on a present nor have you. We’ve all got bills to pay and you/SIL only have one child. It’s a birthday not a pyramid scheme. Get over yourself.”

Your SIL might not even know.

What do the rest of the family think?

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 16/08/2026 09:28

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 09:24

@Youhadrambledonfor18pagesWe have a family WhatsApp group and she mentioned in there that she wants family to only give money. My brother keeps indirectly saying how they are expecting family to give 50 or above

Well they can’t expect it but that doesn’t mean you have to give it! This is the absolute height of entitlement and rudeness.

I’d ask if there’s a savings account in the baby’s name because you’d like to contribute towards that. Please let you have the details so you can make a bank transfer.

AFPotts · 16/08/2026 09:27

I don't like reverses. It's not in the spirit.

Namechangingregularly · 16/08/2026 09:26

oh I missed it was a reverse. Do you get different responses if you do a reverse?
or is it simply that you get to hear people being angry with the person you are angry with? 😂 because I can do that too if asked. It’s all in my repertoire

bigageap · 16/08/2026 09:26

It won’t be cheaper but you could buy your nice a couple of premium bonds so her mother can’t spend the cash!

Sam9769 · 16/08/2026 09:25

Don't go!

Original poster
sarak20 · 16/08/2026 09:24

@Youhadrambledonfor18pagesWe have a family WhatsApp group and she mentioned in there that she wants family to only give money. My brother keeps indirectly saying how they are expecting family to give 50 or above

OP posts:
CoraPirbright · 16/08/2026 09:23

She is expecting everyone to give £50 and above.

How crass! How vulgar! Honestly I despair at how people behave these days.

Namechangingregularly · 16/08/2026 09:23

I wouldn’t know what it meant. I’d presume you want something pre-used.
if you’re actually asking for money then no I’d never consider that it’s ok. Part of gift giving is for the giver’s pleasure too. Especially for a small baby.

as others have said, if you do have to stipulate then ask for a book. But it’s not gracious to ask for anything.

(also if you have enough for your child consider providing for other families who are not as fortunate. This is very important and rewarding).

MsSquiz · 16/08/2026 09:23

Just get a personalised something and say you’ve already bought it

Bacarditropicalfizz · 16/08/2026 09:22

I think SIL is a cheeky cow for asking for £50
but I do think we have a funny attitude to gifting money in this country. We would rather gift crap.

Money is a great, valid gift. Or vouchers. At least until the child can specify what they like.

TheBlueKoala · 16/08/2026 09:22

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 09:14

@HeronwatcherNo, my sister in law actually gifted each of my children a personalised gift on their first birthdays and I really appreciated the gifts. I still have them in their memory boxes. I love giving family personalised gifts as keepsakes. I am not trying to create issues, I just don't have the means to dish out £50+ which she has specifically asked each family member for. I am barely surviving myself to be able to hand out cash that easily.

Books or clothes aren't toys so you can buy that. If she's not happy then so be it.

MerryUmberHedgehog · 16/08/2026 09:22

Ask for money instead and start a saving account. Most people would think this a sensible idea.

CoolShoeshine · 16/08/2026 09:21

How do you know that she is expecting £50 minimum? Has she said that?
If they are super generous to your children it might be ok to gift that amount if you can afford it - remember that they have to pay for 4 children birthdays and Christmases.
However if you cannot afford it, or if she is being rudely.demanding, then just give a voucher or cash for what you want to give. There shouldn't be rules around these things and you dont want to set a precedent.
I wouldn't buy clothes because they'll be promptly returned to the shop.

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 16/08/2026 09:20

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 08:54

Thanks for all your replies. This is what my sister in law has asked everyone to do. She has put on the invites "no boxed gifts". She is expecting everyone to give £50 and above. I have four kids it isn't exactly easy for me to dish out £100 to her. I would have much preferred to buy my own gifts. What would you do in this situation?

“She is expecting everyone to give £50 and above.”

How do you know this? No one actually says “I expect you to give at least £x!”

Just because she expects it doesn’t mean you have to give it! No way would I be giving £50+ birthday gifts to my nieces and nephews.

Floatlikeafeather2 · 16/08/2026 09:20

Why the subterfuge, @sarak20 ? When people suddenly reverse like this, I don't actually know whether to believe them. Is the truth really that it is your sister in law who wants everyone to give £50 or is it actually you who had the idea and has now realised that that's not ok and doesn't want everybody to think you're awful? I just don't know. If it really is your sister in law, it's a truly bizarre way to make a post.

venmor · 16/08/2026 09:20

No boxed gifts would say to me, literally, unbox before wrapping which is something I did for presents when mine were toddlers so they could play straight away.

TBH if someone was looking for a financial drop rather then a present for a one year old I wouldn’t gift at all.

TheSandgroper · 16/08/2026 09:20

Absolutely give a book. Written with baby’s name on the flyleaf.

I recommend https://www.waterstones.com/books/search/term/when+we+were+very+young.

If the parents see no value in this, there is no hope for their taste.

Bacarditropicalfizz · 16/08/2026 09:19

PinotandPray · 16/08/2026 09:16

Feel it’s a hit CF of her to expect £50+ off people!

a voucher is a great idea - at Tesco you can get ones that are specifically for young children where it is fair things like swimming lessons or baby groups 😊or come a local baby toddler group and see if they do vouchers!

x

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I would have hated a baby group voucher, that forces the parent to feel the need to attend one, she might be working full time. Some would think it’s too early for swimming lessons and want to start that in their own time at their place of choice.

Needmorelego · 16/08/2026 09:19

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 08:54

Thanks for all your replies. This is what my sister in law has asked everyone to do. She has put on the invites "no boxed gifts". She is expecting everyone to give £50 and above. I have four kids it isn't exactly easy for me to dish out £100 to her. I would have much preferred to buy my own gifts. What would you do in this situation?

Give cash (or voucher) but only what you can afford.
If that's £5 instead of £50 so be it.