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Original poster

Baby's first birthday to ask for no boxed gifts?

284 replies

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 08:44

Is this reasonable or no. For some context: I have bought all the toys I would like my baby to play with and don't want others gifting toys that I have no space to store. Is it appropriate to ask for no boxed gifts? Thanks

OP posts:
Cuppachuchu · 16/08/2026 09:43

Buy a gift. Take it out of the box. Wrap.
Job done.
People are so annoyingly prescriptive these days.
£50 cash for a baby's 1st birthday? 😲

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 16/08/2026 09:42

Redcars · 16/08/2026 09:35

I transfer 20 /30 pounds to young family members savings accounts for birthdays and xmas . They already have everything tjey need and more. It’s boring but hopefully it means it will mount up and be used for something they really want one day.

It really does add up. My older teens have a few thousand now purely from birthday/Christmas monetary gifts given each year from birth - we’re only talking a handful at £20-£50 each.

B1anche · 16/08/2026 09:41

If someone said to me "no boxed gifts" with no other context, I would assume they want stuff that's homemade or second hand.

Delphiniumandlupins · 16/08/2026 09:41

Ask for the child's savings account details if you're giving a monetary gift so you can pay it in directly. Or give a gift voucher for Jojo Maman Bebe, Smyths or your nearest soft play. I think asking for money in this way is a bit naff and specifying the expected amount really rude.

Takingtigermountainbystrategy · 16/08/2026 09:40

Get them a puppy

Justanotherteacher · 16/08/2026 09:38

Buy the biggest teddy bear you can find. One of those 6 foot tall ones. Then deliver it with as much fanfare as you can manage. The baby will love it!

YouSawBrigadoon · 16/08/2026 09:38

It’s a naff way of asking for cash. And for a child’s first birthday? How vulgar and tacky.

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 16/08/2026 09:38

NervousSheepy · 16/08/2026 09:36

Except for not being at all less rude.

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Well yes I completely agree!

nomorekitchenislandsplease · 16/08/2026 09:36

Could you write a wish list of small things DC will need in the next year? Nappies, pyjamas, foods etc?

NervousSheepy · 16/08/2026 09:36

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 16/08/2026 09:35

I had to look it up- “no boxed gifts” is basically a less rude way of saying “we only want cash”.

Show quote history

Except for not being at all less rude.

Redcars · 16/08/2026 09:35

I transfer 20 /30 pounds to young family members savings accounts for birthdays and xmas . They already have everything tjey need and more. It’s boring but hopefully it means it will mount up and be used for something they really want one day.

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 16/08/2026 09:35

Travelodge · 16/08/2026 09:32

Have deleted my first post as I hadn’t read all the updates. My fault - but I wish you had told us the full true situation in the first place!

Edited

I had to look it up- “no boxed gifts” is basically a less rude way of saying “we only want cash”.

Original poster
sarak20 · 16/08/2026 09:35

@Itssomethingelsequite right...yes they spend £20 on each child at most. I think I'm just going to gift a voucher

OP posts:
ModiglianisHat · 16/08/2026 09:35

MiceSpiders · 16/08/2026 09:31

Buy a nice book and write a lovely message inside the front cover acknowledging the first birthday, personal but also has a purpose and can be enjoyed

Do this.

thelegacyofdragons · 16/08/2026 09:35

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 08:54

Thanks for all your replies. This is what my sister in law has asked everyone to do. She has put on the invites "no boxed gifts". She is expecting everyone to give £50 and above. I have four kids it isn't exactly easy for me to dish out £100 to her. I would have much preferred to buy my own gifts. What would you do in this situation?

Why didn’t you just say that in your post then? Another stupid reverse, so annoying.

Itssomethingelse · 16/08/2026 09:34

Heronwatcher · 16/08/2026 09:28

Ok so why not call your brother out on this? “DB what are you on about, I’ve never spent £50 on a present nor have you. We’ve all got bills to pay and you/SIL only have one child. It’s a birthday not a pyramid scheme. Get over yourself.”

Your SIL might not even know.

What do the rest of the family think?

Show quote history

Definitely call your brother out on it as suggested here @sarak20

Bet your brother hasn't gifted anyone's children £50+, has he? I always find that it's the tightest people who are the most entitled.

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 16/08/2026 09:34

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 09:31

@McSpootmy brother has told us all that this is his wife's wish and not his

Hope you all replied with “it’s not normal to dictate a minimum spend when people are giving gifts, how rude”.

Takingtigermountainbystrategy · 16/08/2026 09:34

KarcherK5 · 16/08/2026 08:49

I think a lot of people don’t know the phrase “no boxed gifts” - when I first saw it on a wedding invitation I was baffled and thought they had some kind of issue with recycling cardboard 😅.

Open a savings account for the kid and just tell anybody who’d like to give a gift that you’d love it if they could add whatever they would have spent to the account so that it can grow for your kid’s future needs.

My first thought was it's a recycling issue

ViaRia01 · 16/08/2026 09:33

YABU for referring to your sister in law and not your brother. She may be the one writing the messages but either they have discussed it between them first or he has failed to step and and say stop being so grabby with my parents/ siblings. This is on your brother. The child is his child too.

In terms of the actual gift I would say the simplest thing is to give in cash whatever you were planning to spend on the personalised keepsake. I wouldn’t give two hoots if they didn’t think it was a large enough amount.

ShutupLwren · 16/08/2026 09:33

I read about this level of grabby fuckery on here plenty but never had the unfortunate luck to know anyone who’s ever said this shit.
A few wedding invites have asked for money or charity donations instead of gifts which is fine. Who wants 100 duplicate items, I get that. But for a kids birthday? Just smile and charity shop duplicates and get on with your day. Entitled dickheads.

MyOtherProfile · 16/08/2026 09:32

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 09:31

@McSpootmy brother has told us all that this is his wife's wish and not his

Wow, I bet he's embarrassed.

WerewolfOfLoudon · 16/08/2026 09:32

How much did they spend on each of your children's personalised gifts @sarak20 ? Match their energy. I would buy the personalised gift in your shoes though as that's what they thought an appropriate gift for your first birthdays.

Travelodge · 16/08/2026 09:32

Have deleted my first post as I hadn’t read all the updates. My fault - but I wish you had told us the full true situation in the first place!

MiceSpiders · 16/08/2026 09:31

Buy a nice book and write a lovely message inside the front cover acknowledging the first birthday, personal but also has a purpose and can be enjoyed

Original poster
sarak20 · 16/08/2026 09:31

@McSpootmy brother has told us all that this is his wife's wish and not his

OP posts: