Baby's first birthday to ask for no boxed gifts?

This kind of fuckery is painful, and becoming more common. I have a stack of "fav books" mine, DS and DSs and inscribe and give these to the "no toys" brigade. If was giving ££ to a child, which I have in the past, it would be paid into a named account, not given as cash.

”She is expecting everyone to give £50 or above”

Did she said actually say this? Because that is bonkers

I like this, a ‘£50’ music session perhaps with the baby and the OP’s DC.

The latter - I don’t have anyone in my life who’s rude enough to make this demand so I had to look it up.

I would either give exactly the kind of gift she gave your children at the same age or a sweet gift handmade by your children and a gift voucher for babysitting during the day so your whole family can come and hang out with the baby.. put £50 on the voucher!!

What if they don’t? What if it’s baby’s first ever book?

How can three copies of When We We Very Young be too many?

Depending on your age it seems that being rude and ungrateful is the norm these days. I wouldn't do this but I am 48 and have manners.

What is that even supposed to mean. Gifts are ok if they don't come in a box. Or grabby rude we want cash or we don't want anything.

Put a tenner in a card - she’s being very cheeky!

It does sound like ' just give me money' to be honest!

I find reverses actually useful sometimes as you don’t get everyone just agreeing with the OP. It gives more diverse opinions some times

Like others I would say that you are coming across as either a bit controlling (no judgement, I was the same with mine, especially first time around when you have definite ideas of how you want to do things) or wanting money (also no judgement - you do end up with a room full of toys that they don’t need and it feels like a waste when you know the is a CoL crisis and DGPs are stretching their pensions).

I really would go with the: “dear all, I know that my DC is very lucky to have you all in their life and that you may want to spoil them for their first birthday, but I was wondering whether I could make some birthday gift suggestions? Books from X range, some autumn/winter baby clothes in X size, or vouchers to the zoo/aquarium that we could use over the winter months would be amazing. I am keen that anything you buy for them is worn, used and played with lots so that you know it is really appreciated.”

ETA FFS, another bloody reverse. Sick of them. I really am.

Voucher to a local soft play. Preferably one with annoying plastic toys!

Membership to toy library.
A book.
A t-shirt or dress or hat.
A vouchure to local children's clothing shop.
Membership to local zoo.

Make the gift voucher from Jo Jo Mama so it can only just for the child

Definitely don’t give £50!! I like the idea of a gift voucher, but I also like the idea of personalised gifts (even if they might be in a box!).

I would respond back on the WhatsApp group and say, 'I won't be able to afford that, life is expensive with kids, as I'm sure you now know.' They can't argue with that surely. You have to be firm with such rude greedy people.

Since when did it become okay to dictate what gifts people buy. It is a GIFT, if it is of no use to you then regift it or give to charity.

You can write it on a card insert that can be used as a bookmark. I do this quite a lot: you can decorate it or do a handwritten note.

That is outrageous. Grabby twats. Buy something small and personalised. Sned that and tell them you had already brought it and don't have any cash spare at the moment. If they fall out with you over that I would say good riddance because they are only going to become more demanding!

He can expect all he likes. It doesn’t mean it’ll actually happen, though.

I would get a 1 year old either a teddy or a book. I would not want to spend £50 thank you. Your relative sounds entitled!

It's beyond rude to specify how much money to gift! So cheeky and entitled

Don't give money or vouchers OP, SIL will probably just use them on herself, plus she'll slate you to everyone if you give less than £50. I would go for a book.

So it’s your brother who’s saying they’re expecting £50 or more, but blaming it on his wife?
Rude and tacky.
I wouldn’t indulge them in this crass behaviour, just give a book, you can get personalised ones.
Gifts of money are, in my view, for children of pocket money age, who love having the opportunity to choose something for themselves. Vouchers are for people you don’t know know well enough to choose something specifically for, or for group presents, eg someone leaving work.
Grandparents could offer cash as savings money, or towards a specific item, but to request a large sum of cash from a cash-strapped young family is grabby in the extreme. If you do this even once, they’ll think it’s OK to do this for every Christmas and birthday until he is 18. You’ve mentioned that they haven’t given money or gifts to that value for your DC, which makes the whole thing in even poorer taste.