Baby's first birthday to ask for no boxed gifts?

@sarak20

'sarak20 · Today 09:35
**quite right...yes they spend £20 on each child at most. I think I'm just going to gift a voucher'

based on this reply from you, and your previous ones

I would buy a £20 gift voucher for the nearest ( to your sil ) soft play.

That way you are spending the same as she spends, and you know your gift is going directly to/for the child and not into Mum's purse.

Tho of course she could regift it to a friend...

What did he actually say if he "indirectly" said they expect people to give more than 50 quid?
It's a ridculous amount of money. I'd buy them a book and ignore the "no boxed gifts" and the alleged "more than 50 quid cash" requests.

@KarcherK5

' I think a lot of people don’t know the phrase “no boxed gifts” - when I first saw it on a wedding invitation I was baffled and thought they had some kind of issue with recycling cardboard '

I am only on page one of the thread but yes I am thinking of the recycling aspect. I guess I will be enlightened by the end of the thread.
I am old :) so have not seen this request ( expectation ) on any invites yet...

I would have interpreted this as wanting charity shop or secondhand gifts only, that would obviously go down very well with the kind of person to specify this!

I’ve done this with aunties and uncles and grandparents, we’ve asked for games instead of large plastics.

We’ve even told them we would be happy to accept hand me down toys from family rather then buying toys.

We don’t want to be another landfill family.

If you try to micromanage what your child gets for gifts there’s a chance you’ll miss out on something you never knew they’d love- I know it’s not so much a problem now, but I feel sad when I hear parents saying their children will be happy with x or y, or they’d prefer a donation or a voucher/ money the like- most of my kids’ favourite presents were unexpected!!!

When my babies were that age all they seemed to want to play with was an old saucepan and some clothes pegs……..oh and the washing basket, empty of course.
However, me reminiscing doesn’t help I know so I would suggest telling people to buy gift vouchers…….then you can choose clothes, books, toys etc as and when purchases become necessary.

Went to see a friends baby on their first birthday . All he wanted was the boxes. 🤣

Ask? What the fuck is wrong with people. Ask, my arse. You don't ask - if people feel like gifting things, they will. Be happy they want to celebrate with you, gift or no gift. This acquisitiveness will bring us down eventually, as a society. This and 'wedding lists' - vulgar AF.

Break the cycle. Buy a nice book. Your SIL clearly has no shame and your brother shouldn’t be enabling her grabby behaviour.

I’ve never heard this phrase. I’d buy what I was going to buy and take it out of the box. I’d assume she doesn’t want to deal with all of the recycling 😂

Also I dislike it when people stipulate gift eligibility criteria. The only exception is wedding presents.

Match what they did for yours then there can be no come back without casting shade on their own choices.

I would just bring a birthday card with a £10 note or a Boots voucher in it, if that's what you can afford. Otherwise just bring a card. I find it incredible how young people feel so entitled these days and friends and families are EXPECTED to follow DIRECTIONS instead of being given free choice to enjoy shopping for little presents.

Buy a lovely book, something a bit older that can be kept

Ignore your SIL. She may think she has got everything the kid needs up to aged 1, but that doesn't stop you thinking ahead to toys suitable for 18 month old. Or get books or clothes.

SIL sounds like an arsehole. Id buy an outfit and some books

That’s a fine amount. I do £10 gift cards for birthdays/Christmas for each cousin-7 of them, so reasonable, I think.

Spend only what you can afford, and certainly not more than they spend on yours. That’s just rude. If you are worried about them spending it on themselves then get a voucher for a child’s shop. Personally i would get a lovely book and put £10 voucher.

This is a great response! 😂

But they do want presents! Just happens that the only presents they want come in the form of cash.

What about a voucher for soft play ( not everyones taste I know) or a petting farm / zoo / aquarium . Something your niece will enjoy, maybe you could all go as a family day out for her birthday?

Just say ‘no presents’ if you don’t want any.

However books are a nice idea, or people could donate cash for your baby’s savings account - assuming they’ve got one. It’s never too early….

Expecting a minimum of £50 cash!! How incredibly rude and entitled!! I can’t afford even spend that even on immediate family!! Nieces and nephews get £15!! I’d be inclined to get some books or if being really awkward a toy that isn’t boxed! Maybe a drum, trumpet or other very annoying toy!!
I get maybe they want to put the money to a larger item maybe a new bed or furniture for the child which is fine but to give an expectation of amount is downright rude!!

Has she specifically asked for £50? How greedy and entitled. I’m not sure what “boxed gifts” would be either. I could easily afford £50 but wouldn’t give this for a one year old niece’s birthday! We don’t go mad in our family though. So maybe that’s just me! Some people spend £30-£100 on each relative for Christmas. We don’t in my family (maybe parents and our partner and children) but not siblings and nieces / nephews etc. Then again we have quite big families…

Either don’t acknowledge the £50 or specifically say you it’s too much money given 4 DC. Probably best to specifically say it’s too much.

Buy a book or clothing.

Or if you don’t mind them seeing the amount, a voucher or put money into a savings account.

I’ve never heard of no boxed gifts and find stipulating a minimum amount very rude. I’d gift books. Something all children need and do t take up much space. If she doesn’t want them she can donate them and some other child will benefit.