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Original poster

Baby's first birthday to ask for no boxed gifts?

284 replies

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 08:44

Is this reasonable or no. For some context: I have bought all the toys I would like my baby to play with and don't want others gifting toys that I have no space to store. Is it appropriate to ask for no boxed gifts? Thanks

OP posts:
Everleigh13 · 16/08/2026 15:36

A few things are off about this. Why would your brother tell you that his wife expects £50 if he doesn’t agree with it? Why would he pass the information on at all? That doesn’t paint him in a particularly good light either.

I’d just give whatever I could afford and was intending to spend on the gift. Nobody gets to specify how much is spent on them or their children as a present.

AImportantMermaid · 16/08/2026 15:32

Don't buy personalised keepsakes. That’s just tat that gets bunged to the back of a drawer or cupboard and never looked at or used. I’d buy something and take it out of the box!

Mountainpika · 16/08/2026 15:25

Get a few boxes of different sizes and put them one in the other. Baby will love them. I played very happily with the cardboard boxes that the groceries were delivered in, so Mum told me when I was older. Although of course, in the late 40s, we had far fewer toys than children have nowadays.

Likeiloveyou · 16/08/2026 15:09

She will spend the voucher on herself.

I would buy a book. Tbh I am ND and wouldn’t have understood the instruction anyway. I thought it literally meant you shouldn’t buy anything that came in a box.

So truthfully I probably would have bought a big teddy bear.

Shatenoeuf · 16/08/2026 15:01

a gift is really the generous choice of the giver. Personally I find a directive like that rather affronting

This. I think ok to say something like "we're short on space - your presence is the only present needed" but definitely nothing hinting at wanting cash.

Switchnow · 16/08/2026 14:55

Lampzade · 16/08/2026 13:12

Everyone and their dog knows that ‘ no boxed gifts’ basically means we want hard cash

Never heard of it, assume because I don’t know anyone so grabby.

Switchnow · 16/08/2026 14:52

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 08:54

Thanks for all your replies. This is what my sister in law has asked everyone to do. She has put on the invites "no boxed gifts". She is expecting everyone to give £50 and above. I have four kids it isn't exactly easy for me to dish out £100 to her. I would have much preferred to buy my own gifts. What would you do in this situation?

I’d give whatever gift you want, what kind of loon expects everyone to give £50 cash for a 1 year old?

Moonnstarz · 16/08/2026 13:45

Randomchat · 16/08/2026 13:32

I have never heard of it. I thought it meant don't buy something new, buy from a charity shop where the thing is not in its box! I would not have been popular

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I haven't heard of it either. I would have guessed no toys (as they come in boxes) and therefore would have bought a book/set of books or clothes!

Randomchat · 16/08/2026 13:32

Lampzade · 16/08/2026 13:12

Everyone and their dog knows that ‘ no boxed gifts’ basically means we want hard cash

I have never heard of it. I thought it meant don't buy something new, buy from a charity shop where the thing is not in its box! I would not have been popular

CurlewKate · 16/08/2026 13:25

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 16/08/2026 12:46

“What’s a boxed gift?”

It’s a euphemism for we don’t want physical presents, please give us cash!

Show quote history

No-that’s actually a euphemism for “Give money or don’t come.”

Lampzade · 16/08/2026 13:12

Everyone and their dog knows that ‘ no boxed gifts’ basically means we want hard cash

NameChangeAgain48 · 16/08/2026 13:11

Id just her a £25 premium bond

Moonnstarz · 16/08/2026 12:59

I wouldn't be paying £50 for a gift.
Our limit is usually £20.

What's the lowest you can invest in premium bonds? Think that might be £25 so I would be tempted by that.

I wouldn't get a gift voucher as would it be spent on your niece?

Millytante · 16/08/2026 12:48

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 08:54

Thanks for all your replies. This is what my sister in law has asked everyone to do. She has put on the invites "no boxed gifts". She is expecting everyone to give £50 and above. I have four kids it isn't exactly easy for me to dish out £100 to her. I would have much preferred to buy my own gifts. What would you do in this situation?

Fifty quid for a baby’s first birthday? Hahahaa .. nope.

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 16/08/2026 12:46

Peonies12 · 16/08/2026 12:07

Whats a boxed gift? I’d say it’s better to suggest what you would prefer rather than being negative. For example ask for books or bigger size clothes, or get family to chip in for something bigger? We got family to chip in to get my 1 year old a floor bed and mattress. Or ask for an annual pass to local soft play/farm?

“What’s a boxed gift?”

It’s a euphemism for we don’t want physical presents, please give us cash!

BountifulPantry · 16/08/2026 12:44

£15 mothercare voucher in an envelope it is.

I mean it’s utterly joyless for all involved. You, the parents and the baby.

But that’s what the silly sods asked for so 🤷‍♀️

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 16/08/2026 12:42

Morepositivemum · 16/08/2026 11:52

If you try to micromanage what your child gets for gifts there’s a chance you’ll miss out on something you never knew they’d love- I know it’s not so much a problem now, but I feel sad when I hear parents saying their children will be happy with x or y, or they’d prefer a donation or a voucher/ money the like- most of my kids’ favourite presents were unexpected!!!

Edited

Agree, my eldest received a brilliant toy for her first birthday from a friend of mine that was probably only about £10 but it became an absolute favourite.
We loved it too as it was easy to take places with us for hours of entertainment and could be used in a multitude of different ways. Subsequent children loved it too.

luckylavender · 16/08/2026 12:23

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 08:59

This is my first niece. I had planned to get her a lot of personalised keepsakes. But now I've been thrown with "no boxed gifts" and she does keep hinting she only wants cash as she's bought her child absolutely everything he needs

Not personalised things. Books are the best thing.

luckylavender · 16/08/2026 12:20

If they ask you can make suggestions but otherwise you suck it up.

BillieWiper · 16/08/2026 12:11

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 08:54

Thanks for all your replies. This is what my sister in law has asked everyone to do. She has put on the invites "no boxed gifts". She is expecting everyone to give £50 and above. I have four kids it isn't exactly easy for me to dish out £100 to her. I would have much preferred to buy my own gifts. What would you do in this situation?

Can't you just give £20? If you can't afford that then give what you can?
Why would a one year old baby need £50 plus cash per person for a 'gift'?!

She sounds quite money grabbing and odd as a one year old has no concept of age or birthdays and won't remember a single second of it.

Mapletree1985 · 16/08/2026 12:11

I would have no idea what "boxed gift" means

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 16/08/2026 12:08

sarak20 · 16/08/2026 09:31

@McSpootmy brother has told us all that this is his wife's wish and not his

So why is he going along with it when he clearly doesn't agree?

I think it's incredibly rude to state a large minimum amount of money that they are expecting from each family member.

I would be replying to your brother that SiL can expect as long as she likes, but that is not how things work in your family. And that you will be gifting a thoughtful, appropriate gift, as you always do.

Hell would freeze over before I would gift a voucher or actual money on this occasion.

I would buy a lovely hardback book as a keepsake, with an inscription from you and your family.

Peonies12 · 16/08/2026 12:07

Whats a boxed gift? I’d say it’s better to suggest what you would prefer rather than being negative. For example ask for books or bigger size clothes, or get family to chip in for something bigger? We got family to chip in to get my 1 year old a floor bed and mattress. Or ask for an annual pass to local soft play/farm?

Rpop · 16/08/2026 12:06

Bacarditropicalfizz · 16/08/2026 11:54

I’ve done this with aunties and uncles and grandparents, we’ve asked for games instead of large plastics.

We’ve even told them we would be happy to accept hand me down toys from family rather then buying toys.

We don’t want to be another landfill family.

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Love this so much.

MaggieBsBoat · 16/08/2026 12:04

What an obnoxious pair they are. Buy the child a book and write something meaningful in the front of it and have done. All my kids I have a book for their first birthday and put a photo in the front of them on their birthday with a handwritten note. The kid is one. The parents just want the cash and that is crass and rude.