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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to feel uncomfortable with a male cleaner in women’s toilets while they are operational?

188 replies

Brood · 15/08/2026 20:11

There’s a restaurant slash service station that I regularly stop at on the way home from work. For the last several months, there has been a male cleaner servicing the women’s bathroom. I raised it with management that during late hours women are often alone in the bathroom with this man who has likely not been police cleared and has access to women only spaces. They then put a sign up to say that the bathroom is serviced by male and female cleaners.

The other day I was in there when the bathroom was very busy. This male “cleaner” was marching in and out of the bathroom entering cubicles opening toilet roll holders that were half full. I waited for as long as possible for him to be finished but after 40 minutes he was still walking in and out. I went into the cubicle as far away as possible from the cubicles he was servicing. Within seconds, he started to stick the sweeping brush under the door and into my cubicle. This was terrifying.

When I came out there was a queue to use the sink and he was standing watching women wash their hand, then he started approaching women and showing them how to use the tap. I gave him daggers to in the mirror and he met my eyes and watched me the whole time. He did not appear to need to be there and instead seemed to be lingering

Am I being unreasonable for feeling uncomfortable in this situation? Usually when bathrooms are being serviced, they are closed to the public for a short time. This is the third time I have gone in there and found a male cleaner in the bathroom constantly.

There doesn’t appear to be a need for him to be there so excessively as I checked the cubicles and every toilet roll holder had at least one full roll and I’m not sure women need his help to use the sink or that the floor needs to be swept so much, especially when someone is in the cubicle

I left a bad review for the business but I feel like my complaints are falling on deaf ears. This is the only place en route home for miles but I’m more annoyed that women should have to put up with this in the first place and have no peace and are being stared at and intimidated by a man even while using the women’s bathroom - which I feel should be a women only space

What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Brood · 15/08/2026 20:35

Lmnop22 · 15/08/2026 20:33

Clearly bullshit. If this was true, you’d have said it in the OP. Get a life.

Show quote history

Said like a man

OP posts:
Original poster
Brood · 15/08/2026 20:34

NullaEffugium · 15/08/2026 20:29

You’re being childish.

How do you think the rolls of TP got to the cubicles? That’s his job.

He was opening toilet roll holders that had full rolls already in them - they were dual toilet roll holders. In some of them, there was one roll gone but there was a full roll in all of them and there was enough toilet roll on those rolls to do for a week.

I am used to using female bathrooms all my life, the was extremely strange behaviour. When I went back in 40 minutes later, the rolls weren’t refilled even though he had walked in and out multiple times. He gave off major creep vibes

OP posts:
Lmnop22 · 15/08/2026 20:33

Brood · 15/08/2026 20:29

I started staring daggers at him because he was staring at me the whole time and I didn’t want him to approach me. When I left the bathroom, he followed me out and stared at me in the shop as well

Show quote history

Clearly bullshit. If this was true, you’d have said it in the OP. Get a life.

Lmnop22 · 15/08/2026 20:32

Brood · 15/08/2026 20:21

He was no where near the cubicle I was using and shortly after I entered it, he pushed the brush underneath the door of the cubicle while I was using it. He stared at me when I came out and continued to stare at me the whole time I was there

While I was washing my hands, he stood leaning on the brush staring at me in the mirror the whole time. He continued to stare at me until I left.

He not only touched the taps when showing women how to use them, he also touched their arms and hands

I’m not sure why there’s a need to clean the bathroom while it’s operational

Show quote history

You’ve changed your story now. Originally he was just “watching women wash their hands” now he was staring at you the whole time?

Maybe he mopped from one side of the bathroom to the other - not an unusual practice to end up where you were when he started elsewhere.

And maybe since you were staring at him, he was unnerved? Or maybe he wasn’t staring at your at all since that didn’t make it into the OP despite being what you now rely on as the most disturbing aspect of his behaviour 🙄

He also didn’t touch anyone in the OP so that’s clearly also fiction because YABVVVU

NullaEffugium · 15/08/2026 20:32

Brood · 15/08/2026 20:29

I started staring daggers at him because he was staring at me the whole time and I didn’t want him to approach me. When I left the bathroom, he followed me out and stared at me in the shop as well

Show quote history

You’re changing your story.
I gave him daggers to in the mirror and he met my eyes

You started the staring contest.

Original poster
Brood · 15/08/2026 20:29

NullaEffugium · 15/08/2026 20:27

YOU said you were STARING DAGGERS AT HIM.
When you stare at anyone, they tend to stare back.

Show quote history

I started staring daggers at him because he was staring at me the whole time and I didn’t want him to approach me. When I left the bathroom, he followed me out and stared at me in the shop as well

OP posts:
NullaEffugium · 15/08/2026 20:29

You’re being childish.

How do you think the rolls of TP got to the cubicles? That’s his job.

NullaEffugium · 15/08/2026 20:27

Brood · 15/08/2026 20:21

He was no where near the cubicle I was using and shortly after I entered it, he pushed the brush underneath the door of the cubicle while I was using it. He stared at me when I came out and continued to stare at me the whole time I was there

While I was washing my hands, he stood leaning on the brush staring at me in the mirror the whole time. He continued to stare at me until I left.

He not only touched the taps when showing women how to use them, he also touched their arms and hands

I’m not sure why there’s a need to clean the bathroom while it’s operational

Show quote history

YOU said you were STARING DAGGERS AT HIM.
When you stare at anyone, they tend to stare back.

somanychristmaslights · 15/08/2026 20:23

My god you’re being so dramatic. He’s doing his job, loads of places have male and female cleaners for the toilets. Just focus on going to the loo, and getting home.

Original poster
Brood · 15/08/2026 20:21

Lmnop22 · 15/08/2026 20:15

He’s cleaning the toilets. I don’t understand why you feel threatened that he mopped the floor around your cubicle or showed people how to use the taps….

None of what you describe is remotely predatory and is all just him cleaning the toilets!

He was no where near the cubicle I was using and shortly after I entered it, he pushed the brush underneath the door of the cubicle while I was using it. He stared at me when I came out and continued to stare at me the whole time I was there

While I was washing my hands, he stood leaning on the brush staring at me in the mirror the whole time. He continued to stare at me until I left.

He not only touched the taps when showing women how to use them, he also touched their arms and hands

I’m not sure why there’s a need to clean the bathroom while it’s operational

OP posts:
ForgottenPasswordNewAccount · 15/08/2026 20:18

For god sake.

Here is a biscuit 🍪

WildGarlicSoup · 15/08/2026 20:16

Oh look it’s Toilet Day.

Happy Toilet Day everyone!

Lmnop22 · 15/08/2026 20:15

He’s cleaning the toilets. I don’t understand why you feel threatened that he mopped the floor around your cubicle or showed people how to use the taps….

None of what you describe is remotely predatory and is all just him cleaning the toilets!