AIBU to feel uncomfortable with a male cleaner in women’s toilets while they are operational?

Out of curiosity, I looked to see if you have a posting history to see if you were a genuine poster. From your pushing history, you appear to have a traumatic past with men - I can’t help but wonder if you have PTSD from this which may be why you feel uncomfortable. You mentioned having therapy, perhaps it would be worth talking this through with your therapist as well?

Just when you think you’ve read it all on MN there is something else that makes you think ‘really? Is this person for real???’

FFS grow up.

He's mopping the floor outside of your cubical, not sat in with you.

This

it is very weird that he was showing women how to use taps 😳

The cleaners were always female in the women's toilets years ago

That’s why we had chambermaids taking out the chamber pots. Were no chambermen back then unless you were the King.

I don’t really want to go back to the days where certain jobs were too lowly for men to do.

@ilovesooty I was thinking this as well. Who has a spare 40 minutes to hang around a service station toilet.
i think she should invest in a Shewee!

Tbh, I wouldn't like this either.

We had a male cleaner where I used to work, and he would follow women into the toilets. Me and my friend went together, and I put my steel capped boot against the door whilst she used the loo. He was trying to force the door open, but I held it shut with my boot, calling out that the toilets were occupied. He kept pushing, but eventually gave up.

When I had to go alone on other occasions, he would follow me in and push the mop under the cubicle door when I was in there. I found it quite intimidating. I put in a complaint. It turned out that 14 other women had also put in complaints. He was eventually sacked.

I do feel on edge when male cleaners are in the women's spaces. The cleaners were always female in the women's toilets years ago

There is nothing illegal about a male cleaner in female toilets and I can’t believe you have suggested there is. My work place uses male and female cleaners, and the maintenance workers tend to be male. They put a sign up to say when men are working in there.

Maybe he has spotted you hanging around so much. The fact you hung around for 40 mins to use the loos is unusual.

I cannot believe you genuinely think one of those loo rolls would last a week. It shows how absolutely clueless you are about what is needed in these loos. I imagine they’d consider it lucky if it lasts a day! The cleaners need to check every cubicle and how much is left in each holder every time. Often if a roll is below a certain level it will need changing. The cleaner will check them all to count how many rolls they need to collect. You’d actually have something to complain about if he weren’t restocking them. I used to do the cleaning in our pub. The loos had those humongous rolls of paper. I would have often changed it in the morning and then during the evening I’d have someone let me know it needed refilling again.

Were the toilets clean? If all the were doing was perving on women, the toilets would be a state. If they were clean it suggests he was doing his job.

It may be that he’s creepy - but honestly, I think you’ve taken exception to the fact a man is cleaning the toilets when women are in there and you’re looking for reasons to complain.

You sound very precious
When should toilets be cleaned
Can't always be cleaned first thing
Other areas need cleaned too
You would probably be whinging if you were busting for the loo and it was closed for cleaning

Honestly just stop. This is beyond irrational and if you actually believe this, and it isn't just rage bait or attention seeking, please talk to someone about this because you are obsessed to the point of lying to people on mumsnet about it. I'm not going to engage with you anymore because I honestly believe you want this reaction and will challenge anyone who doesn't immediately say "oh terrible pervert men in the toilets". You need to stop. You know nothing about this man (he could have a husband at home), his life or intentions and for all you know he has been thoroughly vetted for his job. Both male and female cleaners at my work, our local beach and the charity shop I volunteer at are CRB checked so there is every chance he has been. Let it go.
Edit: missing words again

Now you’re gaslighting.

I can't understand the mentality of someone who hangs around for 40 minutes waiting to use the toilet. Either you want to go or you don't.

Are you having fun this evening? 😂

Wow... That'll teach them!

You need to get a bloody grip of yourself. You're in a cubicle and no one is looking... If this is in your bag of worries you don't have enough to worry about. Ridiculous.

Why don’t you just go somewhere else? You waited 40 minutes before going for a pee, time you could have utilised better.

Of course! 😂

Because men = bad and her infallible, magical, female intuition told her this was a particularly bad man up to no good. Eye roll.

He was doing his job and you made him feel very uncomfortable.

of course he had to go into all cubicles in order to know whether they needed new toilet paper or not and how did you know which toilets needed them and which didn’t.

Oh for goodness sake! Just use the toilet and carry on. I don’t understand why the drama?

I would be overjoyed that a public loo that I use regularly is being cleaned regularly and is well stocked with loo roll. I really do not understand your issue.