AIBU to feel uncomfortable with a male cleaner in women’s toilets while they are operational?

Of all the things that never happened, this didn’t happen the most! You’re being utterly ridiculous now OP.

No, I’m talking about different times. I was using the facilities in there late at night alone one night. I heard someone kind of trashing around the bathroom and when I came out of the cubicle, this man was in the bathroom with me alone. The place was deserted at this time and there was no sign up to say a man was going to be entering. I thought maybe the toilets are cleaned early in the morning and late at night.

A different day, in the evening, I went in to get petrol, do shopping, get a coffee and food (there’s a restaurant and shop three - people stay there for hours, truckers stop off there and could stay for hours, commuters travelling on long journeys. It’s on the motorway,) I went in to use the bathroom while waiting for my food order. I seen the man there. There was a sign up this time to say male and female attendants could be servicing the toilets. That’s when all this played out. It’s not unusual for people to be in this establishment for hours. It’s the only service station for miles and people often use the bathroom when they arrive in and before they leave. It was busy in the evening. The time he came in when I was alone was late at night and the place was dead.

Personally, I just wanted him to get out and stop making a nuisance of himself. I have rarely seen men servicing a woman’s bathroom while it’s in use, never mind hanging around like that - he was standing with the brush facing the mirror and taps. He was clearly staring and then started showing women how to use the taps and invading personal space. He was already doing what felt uncomfortable

I’m amazed at how dismissive most posters are being here.
None of what the OP described sounds normal or business as usual!

This is one of those weird pile ons where the first couple of posters are dismissive of the OP so everyone else joins in.

OP, on a different day at a different time your post might have got a more balanced and supportive response.

This place is really so bonkers sometimes.

I started staring daggers at him because he was staring at me the whole time and I didn’t want him to approach me. When I left the bathroom, he followed me out and stared at me in the shop as well

I doubt it. People push open toilet cubicles all the time if they encounter one that’s not ready for use. I wasn’t going to use the ones where he had opened out the locked toilet roll as it looked like he was planning on coming back to them. had opened about ten of them and left them open. All of them had at least one full toilet roll in them - the industrial sized ones.

I actually feel the people commenting are all men at this stage. Women don’t feel creeped out for no reason and most male cleaners would be more conscious than to stare, interfere with women trying to wash their hands and stick a brush under a cubicle a woman is using

He was no where near the cubicle I was using and shortly after I entered it, he pushed the brush underneath the door of the cubicle while I was using it. He stared at me when I came out and continued to stare at me the whole time I was there

While I was washing my hands, he stood leaning on the brush staring at me in the mirror the whole time. He continued to stare at me until I left.

He not only touched the taps when showing women how to use them, he also touched their arms and hands

I’m not sure why there’s a need to clean the bathroom while it’s operational

No, I’m talking about different times. I was using the facilities in there late at night alone one night. I heard someone kind of trashing around the bathroom and when I came out of the cubicle, this man was in the bathroom with me alone. The place was deserted at this time and there was no sign up to say a man was going to be entering. I thought maybe the toilets are cleaned early in the morning and late at night.

A different day, in the evening, I went in to get petrol, do shopping, get a coffee and food (there’s a restaurant and shop three - people stay there for hours, truckers stop off there and could stay for hours, commuters travelling on long journeys. It’s on the motorway,) I went in to use the bathroom while waiting for my food order. I seen the man there. There was a sign up this time to say male and female attendants could be servicing the toilets. That’s when all this played out. It’s not unusual for people to be in this establishment for hours. It’s the only service station for miles and people often use the bathroom when they arrive in and before they leave. It was busy in the evening. The time he came in when I was alone was late at night and the place was dead.

Personally, I just wanted him to get out and stop making a nuisance of himself. I have rarely seen men servicing a woman’s bathroom while it’s in use, never mind hanging around like that - he was standing with the brush facing the mirror and taps. He was clearly staring and then started showing women how to use the taps and invading personal space. He was already doing what felt uncomfortable

That's always the way on here, you're automatically a man if you disagree, didn't you know?! 😁
If it's real, the OP is entitled to her feelings, but I'm of the opinion he's just doing his job.
I also don't get why the OP is hanging around for 40 minutes to go to the toilet after work at a service station?! That's a long time for the OP to be hanging around, and a cleaner too - I've never known one to be in that long, and to be sticking a brush under the door of an occupied cubicle!

People supporting this OP need to read the entire thread and all of their comments/updates. She is unreliable and irrational to the point where I will no longer bother to answer her directly on this thread.

Yes, it is perfectly reasonable to be uncomfortable with a man in the women's bathroom. You can ask them to step out while you use the bathroom. My mum does it all the time. It's fine. They don't care. They just leave and come back after.

The OP has changed their story several times throughout the thread adding additional elements each time when not receiving the response expected, been confrontational and argumentative with any commentors questioning/criticising her multiple different stories and additions. If we are to believe her full story, she is the obsessive person behaving in a creepy manner not him.

Now in her latest update, we have a public bathroom in a random service station that has 25-30 bathroom stalls. Come on. Last week I went to Leeds for work and went through London Kings Cross station, have also recently visited Birmingham and Manchester city centre stations for the same reason. None of these places had even 20 stalls in a single bathroom.

We need to stop villanising all men for existing in our presence or all of our dads, brothers, sons and husbands will need to be accompanied everywhere in case they look sideways at a woman.

This same person keeps commenting yet says they’re done with the thread. Apparently adding to the story after being asking for further information is “changing the story”. I’m happy enough with this person not addressing me now or ever. It’s extremely patronising to tell someone that they know more about an experience than the person who experienced it

There were a few reviews left on their business page to complain about a female cleaner in the male toilets while they were operational. There is also a complaint about a male cleaner wiping down the urinal next to one a man was using while “mid stream”. In the same complaint the cleaner reportedly used the same cloth used to wipe the urinal to wipe down the sink. Someone from management replied to say this was not their usual practice. So I guess I’m not the only one who feels uncomfortable with this set up.

I don’t see why they can’t close the bathrooms for cleaning for 10 minutes like they do in most places or have male cleaners cleaning the male bathrooms and female cleaners cleaning the women’s.

There were a few reviews left on their business page to complain about a female cleaner in the male toilets while they were operational. There is also a complaint about a male cleaner wiping down the urinal next to one a man was using while “mid stream”. In the same complaint the cleaner reportedly used the same cloth used to wipe the urinal to wipe down the sink. Someone from management replied to say this was not their usual practice. So I guess I’m not the only one who feels uncomfortable with this set up.

I don’t see why they can’t close the bathrooms for cleaning for 10 minutes like they do in most places or have male cleaners cleaning the male bathrooms and female cleaners cleaning the women’s.

I disagree with you so I’m a man?

Hilarious. I am actually a 35 year old woman who has also been using ladies toilets my whole life without stopping to making up stories about toilet attendants online for attention…

Also, check the thread, everyone else also thinks you’re lying so are they all clearly men too?

Hmmmm. Now it’s clear who have been saying YABU.

Pushing brushes beneath cubicle doors and actually touching women's arms while mansplaining how taps work does sound like extremely odd/ creepy behaviour on his part.
I don't understand why most people's replies have been quite so hostile towards the OP.

Who is responsible for hiring the cleaners at this service station/ restaurant place? Is it a company contracted by the service station? or by the (chain?) restaurant? Are there other cleaners from the same company there, or is he now the only one?

OP: Why not tell us all where this place is - it's hardly going to 'out' you, especially if you've stopped going there yourself - so other MNers can go and check out this guy's behaviour for themselves?
That might give you a better idea - if they have the same gut feeling as you then it indicates that your intuition is probably spot-on.

Having recently found out more about how many men are hiding cameras in public toilets and changing rooms, and posting the resulting footage online, or just live-streaming it, I would be utterly unsurprised to learn that some of these men are now deliberately taking jobs that make it easier to set up such covert cameras.