Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

9 year old can’t come to play until he’s done the housework

260 replies

NotsureifIwantsummertobeoverornot · 15/08/2026 12:04

Dd usually plays with a few children from our neighbourhood at the weekend. She’s just been to call at her best friends house. He said he can come, but only when he’s finished doing the housework (mum, dad and him seem to be cleaning)
Do you do this with your Dc, it seemed a bit sad for him or is it in fact good to start children early?
How much tidying/chores etc do your children do, of a similar age?
I ask Dd to tidy up after she’s had toys out and to tidy her room. Sometimes she does it without issue, other times arguments/complaining.

Where do you stand on this?

OP posts:
LadyLooo · 15/08/2026 12:12

"I ask Dd to tidy up after she’s had toys out and to tidy her room. Sometimes she does it without issue, other times arguments/complaining."

And you'd let her down tools in the middle of tidying her room to go and play?

ilovesooty · 15/08/2026 12:11

If he's part of the family then his parents want him to take some responsibility for its functioning
I don't see anything sad about it. I had age appropriate household tasks as a child.

LadyLooo · 15/08/2026 12:10

it seemed a bit sad for him or is it in fact good to start children early?

Lol @ 'sad'.

Kid has some chores to finish before he can go out to play.

Nothing sad about that at all.

WerewolfOfLoudon · 15/08/2026 12:10

Homework and age appropriate chores before children go to play is responsible parenting. That 9 year old boy should grow up to be an adult capable of doing his own housework, laundry and feeding himself.

Does your child not have any responsibilities @NotsureifIwantsummertobeoverornot ?

LilyOfTheValley25 · 15/08/2026 12:10

Why on earth would you think this wad problematic (except that he's not available to entertain your dc)?

Ilovemyfam · 15/08/2026 12:07

Sounds like he has a sensible set of parents tbh.

CallUpMyMamaSaidImInLoveWithTheStripperYo · 15/08/2026 12:07

I see nothing wrong with kids having particular (appropriate) jobs/chores, and not getting to play etc until they are done.

I also banned my 12 year old from going out the other day until her room was squared up. I’d been asking her for DAYS to do it and she just wouldn’t so eventually I said she was going nowhere until it was done. Took her all of half an hour.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 15/08/2026 12:07

I have 3 boys. The youngest is 9. If he’s got jobs to do he does that before he does anything else. They’re not stopping him from playing with his mates, they’ve just said he needs to finish what he’s doing first.

LordEmsworth · 15/08/2026 12:07

Is he scrubbing the bathroom floor and climbing up ladders to clean all the windows? Or actually just tidying his room?

Why on earth are you sad about a 9 year old learning to tidy up after himself?

GoodkneeBadKnee · 15/08/2026 12:07

I used to do this with my dc, and my mum did with me. I think it's fine.