To ask about your best and worst One Night Stand?

Thanks!

I wanted to say I thought what you said was entirely reasonable and I’d have been dismayed at that chaps bizarre reaction. Some right oddballs around today.

I think you were unfairly picked on here, maybe you touched a nerve for someone if you catch my drift!

You can’t not tell us what it is!

Has to be, right?
Else it's treating men and women as differently and that's not acceptable.

So if I'm ever in the (highly, highly, highly unlikely) position of being with a ONS I must explain why I don't want to carry out a particular act to him and dutifully stay in the room even though for whatever reason my strong urge is to leave.

Sounds fun. And sex should be fun, shouldn't it? That's why all these hook - ups with strangers who may be riddled with std's and we know effectively f* all about should be encouraged and not frowned upon at all oh no (sarcasm, obvs)

It also makes complete sense that I am held to the same level of accountability about my behaviour by rushing out the room to someone he's actually in a relationship with, too, even though it's just a ONS.

Complete sense. Not.

Best: Just very attentive, excellent, sex. Very pleasant to look at, generally a nice man, just didn't fancy anything serious at the time. Had breakfast the next morning, and have remained friends ever since.

Worst: Went on a night out and got absolutely plastered, ran into a friend's ex, who kissed me in a kebab shop, ended up having very meagre sex, and he then told all my friends and (even though this was 20 years ago) not a single one of them has spoken to me since. 👍🏻

No no that’s fine. It’s just a man that is wrong…

So by that logic, a woman leaving abruptly because she didn't want to perform a sex act she was uncomfortable with is "very bad manners" also?

What is next? What is your best bus shelter wank? Race to the bottom.

Sleeping together with somebody on the first date is not a ONS.

A first date usually occurs in the context that you know something about this person. Their name, address, your family friends may know them.

You usually tell somebody where you're going, there is an understanding that you both like each other to make an an effort.
Or he does as he's asked you out.

A ONS is not the same in terms of personal safety.
If you're with friends, they might if drunk not remember where you've gone.

There is a very real chance that the guy is using a woman as something to masturbate into.
They don't give a shit where it 'leads'. Lol. The naivety.

How the feck this could be seen as a good thing for women is beyond me.

for those who tut about ONS i think most people would agree with this; few women go out thinking about ONS. if you get a hook up you do not think deeply about it. sometimes people think it might lead somewhere and sleeping together on a first date certainly is not bad. next morning or later you may realise no way do you want to take it further ie a relationship so hence you have great memories

I agree.
Though this is not the only disdainful post towards men here on things they can't help. Tiny penis, too quick to come etc.

Things that if the sexes were reversed there'd be uproar.

That ridiculous post about going out for a curry, for instance.

Nobody owes anybody else any sex act they don't want to do. Ever.
They do not need to explain why they don't want to do it and they can exit at any time without explanation. You may be miffed but that's the way it is.

It sort of makes me think why some women shouldn't do ONS - they expect the same accountability from a ONS that they do in a relationship. Not gonna happen.

Sexual preferences should be discussed in a calm, non-confrontational, safe environment.
Which is why ONS are risky for women and while women shouldn't be ashamed of them they shouldn't be celebrated either.

Best: wild threesome with 2 women when I was 19. When I say wild, I mean so insanely good and so out of the ordinary for me, 20 years later and I still think about it! I saw one of them a short while later at the bar we’d met at and she just gave me a bit of a smile. Then we bumped in to each other in the toilets and she pulled me in to a cubicle but my very drunk friend came in shouting for me and I had to leave to look after her.

Worst: went back to his and his housemate kept trying to interrupt. He went and spoke to her and came back to me. Then she ended up having some sort of breakdown which led to her smashing the entire house up. He made me stay in the room with the door locked while he tried to calm her down and then she tried to get in. Threw herself down the stairs, pretended to be unconscious, I came out to help and she ran up the stairs to get me. Locked myself in again while I called the police. He literally held her for 20 minutes while we waited for the police. She had bitten and scratched all his arms, neck and chest. After she was taken away he just sat on the couch and cried. I sat with him while he told me she’s been unwell for a while and he didn’t think it was this bad. He had slashes on his back as well as the bites but he refused to go to a&e so just let me put dressings on. I fell asleep on the couch next to him. He sat in the same position for the rest of the night. Woke up and helped him clean up the next morning before leaving. We ended up staying in touch but nothing else happened. I don’t know what happened to her but I hope she’s ok now.

Language matters. Yours showed disdain for someone because they wouldn’t do what you wanted sexually. Quite rightly that was noticed and commented on.

perhaps consider why you phrased your comment like you did rather than get arsey with anyone pulling you up on it

Well, you don't have to concern yourself with me. I've been happily married for years. Anyway, it wasn't me that stank like a fishing trawler stuck in the harbour during a heatwave...

Honestly I think most men will stick it in anything they can get

Anybody man or woman has the right not to indulge in any sexual activity they do not wish to. That's a given.

They do not owe that person an explanation as to why. Ever. Full stop.

They can exit the encounter at any point they wish without being reprimanded. It is their body and their right to do so.

And the other adult should just accept it.

If it were a man here demanding an explanation or guilt-tripping as to why a woman didn't want to partake in a particular sex act with him he would be accused of being an abuser - and rightly so.

Plus of course there's the added ridiculousness of demanding an explanation from a one night stand.

That's a joke in itself.

A person you're not even in a relationship with. Lol.
Applying relationship standards of accountability to a ONS is absurd.

If in a relationship, it is acceptable to ask in a non-sexual situation such as over a coffee in a cafe about each other's preferences but NEVER during sex itself.

Very well articulated, thank you!

Gosh, is this still going?!? I never said he owed me anything.
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen people so exercised by one word.

When you say ONS do you mean I go out and find myself a person to have a one-off sexual encounter with that I never have sex with again after that night-which is my understanding of the term one night stand.

Or to find a man that I immediately have sex with but that would later become my husband but I would refer to as a one night stand in order to perhaps sound edgy and cool?

Seems to be no difference on this thread.

You do you. I don't give a fuck about your sexual adventures.

I won't be lectured to by somebody who it appears to me thinks a person has to offer an explanation as to why they don't want to undertake a sex act, anyway.
Referring to the 'specimen' incident here.

Ironic really I'm the old-fashioned one here but I'm the one who firmly believes that any person at any time has the right to quit a sexual encounter at any point, no explanation needed.

Now who else thinks they're owed an thousand word cunting explanation as to why a partner doesn't want to do this and that in bed?
Ah yes, the worst of men.

Curious as to why your dd starting school is a factor?

Afternoon delight? 😄

I’ve never had one, I’ll get slaughtered now but I think the very idea of them is disgusting.,

That said, what anyone else gets up to is none of my business, and doesn’t bother me, but I’d be incredibly disappointed if either of my adult DDs ever admitted to having one.

About 16 years ago, another micropenis one. Couldn’t actually tell if he was inside me or not. So not sure if we actually managed to have actual sex. I think he attempted to put a condom on. It was literally the size of my little finger. Will never forget the experience of trying to give him a handjob just holding it between my thumb and forefinger. Funny thing was he was an amazing kisser but really full of himself. Blocked me after. I was fuming. In hindsight I think he had a girlfriend. About 2 years ago I swiped right on him on bumble for the hell of it and to my surprise he came up as a match (which meant he’d previously swiped right on me). I immediately messaged him saying “you must be joking 🤣”. Never been blocked (again!) so fast!

@GarlicAnywhereI think we could be best friends because I could have written this list