To think Dsis is overeacting after SS hit niece?

The sex (not gender) of the parties involved is relevant though. A 15 year old boy is far stronger than a 10 year old girl.

Time to leave the holiday. I can't imagine the atmosphere will improve. DNiece sounds like she was deliberately cruel to a child she knows has had a bad time and I have very little sympathy for her, but SS needs to be removed from the environment if he can't control himself.

This was YOUR fault. You were the adult in charge. You're aware he has anger issues.

If your niece was ignoring you then you should have got up and moved her away from him.

The blame is on you. And SS. If he can't control himself around a 10yo being a bit annoying without resting to violence then I'm not sure he should be put in public. Annoying 10yos are everywhere.

If this is genuine, if a 15 year old boy hit my 10 year old daughter they wouldn’t be in the same room again.

He lost his right to an apology when he assaulted her.

You were wrong to reveal the genders OP, had they been swapped the thread would have been full of “good for her for hitting the little brat” and “good case of fuck around, find out” etc.

He absolutely shouldn’t have hit her, if anything you should have intervened when she was being a little shit and continually winding him up. He should never have been in a position to get physical with her if you had intervened earlier.

He also urgently needs support with handling his emotions. Society will treat him as the young man he is rather than a traumatised boy and as you can see here, sympathy quickly dries up for young men who use their physicality to hurt others, regardless of the reason.

He's having issues and needs more support. But I have to ask why as the adult in the situation you didn't stop her from following him into his room.

He was aware enough to remove himself from the situation but you didn't help by not allowing him to have his own space to charm down.

It is wrong that he hit her and I don't in any way condone him doing so, but your niece needs to learn that if someone walks away she should leave them be.

He sounds like he’s had a tough time but that still doesn’t give a free pass to hit a child. He needs to know what he’s done is totally unacceptable.
You can be patient and understanding but need to have firm boundaries and consequences too.
I don’t think the holiday is going to work. I would apologise to your sister. His dad needs to speak to him and once he’s calmed down he should apologise to your niece and sister.

I think you are downplaying this quite a bit. I can understand he was wound up but lashing out with violence is quite serious. Yes your niece was a brat but hitting is very serious., The two things are not equal. He seems to not be able to handle his emotion. Getting so upset about a claw machine that he had to be removed from the venue to calm down.

Honestly I can see why your sister is concerned regarding your children being safe around him. As he gets older he is going to get bigger and stronger. It sounds very much that he needs to get some help.

He's traumatised. Not every difficulty is due to ND. The impact of childhood trauma seems to be being erased with every difficulty being put down to the victim being ND.

6 of one and half a dozen of the other springs to mind. He should not have hit her no. But she is old enough to know that her pestering behaviour was wrong and he spilling water of his artwork is appalling. She is far from innocent!

Would I bollocks teach my daughter that it’s ok for a male to hit her because she’s been “really annoying”, by forcing an apology.

Got to be a reverse.

He shouldn’t have hit her, he’s strong, and violence is not the answer, and he needs some support and guidance to deal with his trauma.

However your niece doesn’t sound particularly pleasant, or good company.

Personally, I’d make my own space from her and find alternative accommodation.

Your sister is right in her reaction and should keep her kids away from your family until the situation has calmed down and you can see how wrong you are in your judgement.

It is not acceptable for a 15 year old to physically assault a child no matter how annoying she is acting.

Your sister is in the right and should not leave her kids unsupervised in your care whilst you're minimising dangerous behaviour. Give your head a wobble, you're doing the lad no favours either.

I would.

He is obviously much more in the wrong for hitting her, but she also did the wrong thing in winding him up.

A 15 Yr old hit a 10 year old.
That's not ok
She is not overreacting

So the girl gets away Scot free? No chance

What's that got to do with anything?

Yes he is. His height is irrelevant.

I wouldn't have made the girl apologise either

Are you for real?

No they are not “equally in the wrong”, your SS is significantly more so.

What is wrong with you?

this but also he sounds ND? do you think he is ?

I would also be limiting contact with your sister - she doesn’t sound very nice

Tough one. A 15yo hitting a 10 yo is unacceptable, no question about that. A 10 yo should also know how to behave, this one doesn't, so your sister really needs to look closer to home instead of projecting everything on your SS. She clearly doesn't like him and saying she will report you to SS and he should be in care is an overreaction. It's probably best all round if you limit contact. Her attitude is not going to do your SS any favours, nor will being around her bratty DD.