To think Dsis is overeacting after SS hit niece?

At 15 if he has not gone through puberty yet you should take him to a doctor.

If he has gone through puberty then he absolutely is strong enough to hurt a ten year old girl. Even if he’s not much taller than her he will be much stronger than her.

If I was your sister I would be calling the police to have him arrested for assault.

Whatever help he is getting is not enough.

Sister should be supervising her own kid.

The thing is though, it was an escalation of juvenile behaviour by both of them, not one single event.

She pestered to see his notebook for a while and eventually grabbed it..

He then shouted at her..

water was then spilled on it (assuming in the grapple).

He walked off

She called him a baby and asked if he was going to cry..

He hit her..

OP had plenty of time to step in and stop the pestering, and she should absolutely have stepped in as soon as SS started shouting at niece, he is prone to out of proportion anger and violence so any potential situation with other children should be de-escalated immediately, not left to chance, no matter who "started it".. as the person responsible for both children at the time this is 100% OPs fuckup.

I agree with this. The sister needs to look at her parenting.

How did he hit her? A punch in the face is different to a slap on the arm (though yes he shouldn’t do either)

You and your DH are in the wrong here. A 15 year old boy hitting a 10 year old is a massive concern and you’re minimising it again and again. His behaviour is unacceptable.

I wouldn’t want my children anywhere near yours until he learns not to be violent and aggressive.

Imagine this boy at school
If / when his classmates ever wind him up

terrifying

She “deserved” a smack? From a 15 year old boy, when she’s… 10

THIS. In SPADES!

Naaah, if this is real it's a JOKE!

DNiece sounds annoying BUT SHE'S TEN!!!

He is fifteen, FFS!

A divorce and a temper is no excuse for him hitting a much younger child, especially a girl!

To say they were 'equally' in the wrong is an INSANE level of delusion!

I hope Dis does call the Police because she's right - he is being babied and his anger issues minimised to a worrying level and next time he hits out in temper he could either meet fists/.kicks himself or be of an age where he ends up in prison.

DH needs to do stop making excuses for DSS and give him a huge bollocking before it's too late.

No she is not overreacting. I have a huge amount of sympathy for your DSS but I would also have been absolutely livid if a 15 yr old boy had hit my DD when she was 10.

I think however much help your DSS is getting he’s not at the point when he can go on holiday with other children or be left unsupervised. Yes the 10 yr old was being annoying but… news flash… that’s what 10 yr olds do. You absolutely cannot allow a 15 yr old to hit them. I suspect your sister is a bit appalled that you’re not taking this more seriously too.

Personally I think you guys should go home- I don’t think you can recover this holiday. I wouldn’t go away with your DS or any other cousins/ children for the future. I’d also seriously review the support your DS is getting as frankly it doesn’t sound as though it’s working.

Six of one, half a dozen of the other. You should have physically intervened, as soon as it became physical, when she wrecked his sketch.

Feeding a baby isn't an excuse, how do you think parents of multiple children manage? I don't let the older ones run feral just because I'm feeding.

Put the baby down for a minute, yes they'll cry. Take her by the arm, remove her from the room, give her a good bollocking and send her to her room if she can't behave.

100% this! ^^

Hitting someone isn't right, but hitting someone after being repeatedly antagonised is not the same as hitting someone for no reason whatsoever.

If the sister takes this to social services then her own parenting should and will come under question.

Where has her daughter learned that it's OK to deliberately do things to make someone angry, then keep doing nasty things even after that person has the common sense to walk away? Because that's a learned behaviour.

Why did the sister leave her daughter given she referred to the 15 year old as a "tantruming toddler" and knew he had anger issues? She must have known what her daughter was like so she shouldn't have left her.

The bottom line is that the ONLY reason this happened was down to the behaviour of the 10 year old. A 10 year old is legally responsible for their behaviour, so she knew full well what she was doing. She saw him get angry, she saw him walk away, but she made the choice to keep going and winding him up.

You just have to look up "mitigating circumstances" online to see how many sentences are thrown out due to the victim actually being the cause of the issue.

From the way you tell it, she sounds like she deserved a smack because she wouldn’t let it be and actively sabotaged his drawing and this will be a good lesson to her in future.
Nevertheless it does sound quite disturbing that a 15 yo would hit a 10 yo and if he has grown (rather than still being a small boy) that sounds even more upsetting.
Reporting to social services is ridiculous though. Both kids need a good talking to and to be separated.

The 15 year old male is old enough to be charged with assault.

You need to bear that in mind.

There was a woman on here last week whose husband was being a dick to her, so she threw a cloth child's hat in his direction, it missed him and knocked over a plastic bottle and some water spilt on the floor. Huge number of posters saying she had abused him.

Yet apparently, if a 10 year old girl is being a brat, then she deserves a little slap eh? nothing wrong with that. She was asking for it ..

@Hadenough32 has clearly and calmly explained what should have happened. You need to do better OP. Unless you let your DH rough you up if you get a bit annoying?

10 year old acting like a annoying kid.

15 year own turned around and punched a 10 year old the 15 year old is the one more in the wrong.

If you can’t stop him hitting people you shouldn’t be in control of him alone with other minor children.

I was taller than the 15 yr old who
hit me, and the consequence was disastrous.

He is a kid, not a man. He clearly does need help with his anger, which you say is happening, and obviously it's serious that he hit someone.
But a grown woman taunting a child she knows has issues? I would worry if a person like this has kids. What is she doing to them?

Great post 👏

@PapaSteel you should really take notice of what this poster says.

Well you're a terrible person in my book then. How ever will you sleep tonight ? 😆

A bit of a dick = no. Being verbally abusive and bullying her husband = certainly.

I think for him to have gotten to 15 and not explained about how claw machines work is also an issue. From about 8 or 9 years old Ive played youtube videos explaining that theres a mechanism for full power to engage once the machine has made a certain amount of money.

Kids still like using claw machines for the fun of it but say I give them £20 per arcade session, I'll only allow max £5 to be spent on those machines per day.

Any plushies that are particularly wanted I will take a photo and use google lens to find it for sale online, show them and explain they can use their pocket money to buy it once we are home. And also when they see the plush costs £10 on amazon they are less reluctant to waste lots of their money and instead stick to actually arcade games.

Not to say he wont be lucky to get a full power claw, on our last holiday we must have spent about £20 over several days on a claw machine with kpop demon hunters plushies. Many times the claw was perfectly lined up but no power to lift it. On our last day after £2 we got a full power claw and got the plush! - but its total luck as to when this happens and your ss should have been taught this by adults in his life.

He can't get angry at the machine, thats just how its programmed, its there to make money for the business.

I dont think pandering to anger does anyone any good. It sounds like this young man has a lot of issues and I dont think being around young kids is good for him, as kids are hard work and it doesnt sound like he has the patience to be around them, which is then a risk isnt it.

This. She should have been told off for being so obnoxious.

You are minimising it because you were the responsible adult in the room and failed to manage the situation. So the six of one, half a dozen of the other splits three ways.

DN needs to learn to read social cues and not be a pain in the arse
SS really needs to learn not to be violent
You need to learn when and how to step in and actually do it, you could see it escalating, even if you'd told DN off for spilling her water SS would have felt protected by you.