To think Dsis is overeacting after SS hit niece?

That’s nasty and you must not know be on here because I do not fuck about when it comes to being mean to children.

But I am not wrong that many posters have said he should be able to brush off her actions because he’s 15 and practically an adult and that he is showing that he will be an abuser. If you read my first comment you would see that I said OP was being dismissive of her SS hitting her niece. But I also said that her sister absolutely needs to correct her daughter about how she treated him. I don’t know why on this forum it’s so challenging to imagine guiding children without demonising them.

If my 15 year old was vulnerable then yes I would be very concerned about them being around someone with that ability to sniff out a vulnerable target. I am hoping he will get the support he needs to cope with people like that.

At their current ages?

you would feel like your 15 year old was more at risk with the 10 year old than your 10 year old would be with the 15 year old?

The way I see it is if one of my DC had the 15 year old as a classmate I'd feel like I could explain that he is struggling and that I would tell them to give space and leave him alone when he seems upset.

I would be far more concerned if they had the 10 year old as a classmate. I think I'd be telling them to try and avoid their attention or showing any kind of weakness in front of her.

I suggest you read a little more thoroughly if you’ve missed that, and found her actions to be dismissed. Lots of ‘she was asking for it’

she’s been called a brat, a cow, a bitch and a psycho!

she’s vile, and I think gobby and spoilt.

lots more disdain towards a 10 year old than him.

Yes I have seen her referred to as a brat. Not surprised because generally this forum shows disdain towards children. But the other poster said she’s being treated worse, not that she’s also being spoken about negatively. Most of what I have seen is being dismissive of the girl’s actions.

The problem is that many posters are looking at this as a man vs child situation that is abusive rather than two children/young people.

Also there’s been an awful lot more expectation on the 10 year old child. She SHOULD know better, that’s the behaviour of a toddler etc.

plus, there’s all the name calling.

Worse is what way?

The way theyve spoken about a 10yr old girl is far worse IMO.

Yeah I don’t like the way many posters are adultifying a 15yo just because he’s male.

Yeah I don’t like the way many posters are adultifying a 15yo just because he’s male.

Yes, when they're the same age. Not junior school Vs a year 11.

All these people saying that 15 is nearly an adult. It isn't. The human brain doesn't finish maturing until people are in their early to mid twenties. Becoming an adult is a process and 15 is still in the middle of that process. He's 3 years away from being a legal adult - that's a long time in terms of childhood development. It's not like the difference between 42 and 45!

No. This is another adult refusing to understand that their precious female child provoked. And wasn't parented properly by their parent. In fact almost encouraged by the sounds of it. The stepson has been receiving support but clearly not from all of the family. Best sister and niece stay well away, whilst step dad and step mum do their best to help this teenager.

He didn't shout in her face. She grabbed his book and he shouted at her to stop it, not in her face. She then ‘accidentally’ spilt her water on his book to ruin his drawings. She was stood over him and he was sat at the table. He didn't have a tantrum. He walked away to try and get out of the situation and she was making comments like “are you gonna cry” and called him a cry baby

I've said multiple times he's getting help for his anger both at school and outside of school and therapy for all he's gone through.

He apologised after he got angry at the arcades too, he had spent most of his money trying to get a specific thing despite us trying to tell him to do something else and dp saying he would find it online but he was fixated with winning that one and when he got close but it fell he got angry. He wasn't aggressive he was just angry and upset and he went for a walk to calm down as it was also very busy and hot in the arcade which wasn't ideal

I did tell her repeatedly to leave him alone when she began pestering him to show her what he was drawing and then when she followed him and was calling him a crybaby etc and saying it was only a bit of paper. She ignored me. She's not a toddler how would I have “removed her” like a poster said. I was also feeling my baby at the time so not possible

We know he has anger problems which is why he's getting help and he is better than what he was and takes himself away from the situation when he feels himself getting annoyed/angry which is a big improvement to how he used to be. He's already apologised and knows he was in the wrong but I don't think it's right that sister has told her to not apologise

This isn't a ‘reverse’ whatever that is

I've been with my partner for 8 years and we have dc together, he has a son from his previous relationship. He's 15 and not his bio son but he's been in his life since he was young and he sees him as his dad

Alot happened when we got together as his ex would tell SS that DP didn't want to see him anymore now he was dating me which wasn't true at all. She was physically & verbally abusive towards him and he's been living with us since he was 13 (after he told school about howHe has a lot of trauma and anger which school are supportive about and outside of school he gets help on how to manage the anger and he is a lot better than he was but the anger is still there so we are just patient with him

We're currently on holiday with my sister and her 2 dc and have been here since Monday. There was issues almost straight away as ss got angry at the claw machine but he and dp left the arcade and went for a walk to calm down as the arcade was busy so there was no way he'd have been able to calm down whilst in the arcade. My sister described him as a tantrumming toddler who didn't get his own way and said partner wasn't doing him any favours. I ignored her

He loves drawing and usually if you ask he will show what he's drawing but earlier he was at the table drawing and my niece (10) kept asking what he was drawing. He told her but she kept saying “show me show me” despite him saying no, she pulled his sketch book away from him which caused him to shout at her and she “accidentally” spilt her water on it. He was clearly very angry/upset and walked off to go to his room and she followed him and called him a baby, asked if he was going to cry etc, and he turned round and hit her and now he's being made out to be the bad guy

During this my sister was out with her other dc, my dp was in the shower and I was telling her multiple times to leave him alone and do something else even when she was repeatedly telling him to show her his drawing and she ignored me

My sister is now back and furious, she said she doesn't want her children to share a space with a “violent man”, and has even mentioned going to the police and social services on us if we're happy to have him around our children as he's not related to us when asked where he should go she just replied care

AIBU to think she's overreacting? I know SS shouldn't have hit her and he knows this too but she hasn't apologised for her part in deliberatly winding him up and sister says she doesn't need to as she's a child and he's nearly an adult

If he hadn’t lost it epically at the arcade centre 24 hours previously, I might be a touch more open to the idea the Op isn’t massively exaggerating the supposed torture of this boy but this 10 year old

I just don’t know where you’re getting this stuff from!? The OP said he got angry with the claw machine and went for a walk. Not that he ‘lost it epically’. Ever watched a professional tennis match??

I can see I’m wasting my time and energy here and need to walk away myself.

I fear we are only a couple of messages away from you revealing you ‘work with children’ and honestly I just don’t want that kind of depressing information on a Saturday morning.

If he hadn’t lost it epically at the arcade centre 24 hours previously, I might be a touch more open to the idea the Op isn’t massively exaggerating the supposed torture of this boy but this 10 year old