To think our DSs achievement is a lot down to me?

Indeed!

Feel proud of yourself and him. Dont mention it if no one else notices. I have been a mum and a stepmother and while sad its ok to be proud of your children, as a stepmother it comes over very differently. My own DS1 got a first at uni for months I took the piss out of myself, because I wanted to include and did you know DS1 got a first. When a stepson who I supported encouraged and helped out practically became a Rugby star. I keep my mouth firmly shut. His mum never wanted him to play but was v proud of him.

I have 3 academic high achievers (think Oxbridge).
They're first in the family to go to university.

I sowed the initial seed, provided the scaffolding.
But their achievements are THEIRS alone. I would not dream of taking the stance that you are.

I think this is called parenting.

There you go then - they both said it would have been possible without you, so not sure why you’re determined to take the credit?! Well done to him & hope he makes the most of uni.

DD is doing an integrated Masters in mathematical physics at a good RG uni. Everything apart from the straight As she gained in her A levels is irrelevant.
On result's day it was only those grades that mattered. Any normal parent wants the best for their DC. I did what you did, but it never entered my mind that this was DD's win, not mine, beyond being proud of her.

Yes! Have a bit of secret pride in yourself for the work you put in to help him get great results.

Quietly celebrating 😂😂😂 she's definitely not doing that is she? She's essentially saying he couldn't possibly do something on his own she's the worst kind of parent

OK, so standards ARE very different from years ago. Amazing...is it any wonder that degrees are now so watered down. But don't you see, that you gave him help over and above that given by the teacher to every student, and with your MA, may well have greatly advantaged him...I bet other parents helping did not have that knowledge.

Do you not understand that the entire thing should be completely his own? A tutor who checked ANYTHING would be out of order. DD had ME, was bedridden and was home schooled...I tutored her from the set notes, (it was my MA specialty) but when it came to course work, I butted right out other than giving her the material, going over, as required, and as I always did with my own students, the bare parameters of the assessment and left her to it. I didn't look at what she had written until it had been despatched to the assessor. Of course, I wouldn't check anything, other than saying that she should be sure that she had read and adhered to ALL the instructions - my professionalism would be called in to question otherwise...but she would have policed it herself had I been tempted, and told me off! But I would never have done so, because I'd be teaching her that cheating is ok - and unfortunately, so many parents give that lesson to their own kids... something that dismays me after all these years of teaching.
Oh, and she achieved entry to a RGU, degree with 1st Class Honours, post-grad diploma, and now has a fantastic job. Despite the ME and the mother who insisted that she follow the rules 100%. Did he/you not have to sign a document verifying that it was all his own work? Which means, no-one "checked it". Perhaps standards are different these days...

OK. Bored now.

I voted YANBU. I'd like to retract that please.

Thank you.

the person you missed out, was your DSS he knows you helped I am sure he will tell you when he is grown up. Now just enjoy it to yourself

I'll bring the spade, Candide.

It's really nice that you have been able to support your DSS. Seeing him doing well should be your reward.

Il faut cultiver notre jardin.

Yes be proud that you stepped up and did what good parents do.

Yes YABU in my view. Gracious thing to do is help people without having the ego or need to pat ourselves on the back. Humility is a great quality. Some of the phrases here like you didn’t have to, or how uneducated his Mum and Dad are, just don’t sit well. Are you going to claim every success the lad has herein is down to you? Success in any event comes in many forms. It’s not all to do with academia.

If you boast and take credit IRL like this OP it isn’t a good look. Your DM and DH didn’t credit you unprompted as you say at one point you said to them about your starring role in the lads success plus they may know you need ego massaged. Be quietly proud but it’s his time, his ultimate success and everything he does hereafter is not yours to take credit for.

She admits to "checking his course work". Which is cheating. No mention of a tutor. No wonder she wants the glory. It seems the DSS got into a RGU on the basis of fraud. Something we have been fighting for so many years, but still it happens.

It depends on the level of 'help'. If it was akin to hiring a tutor in that subject, that's fine; if it was basically doing the work for him, that's obviously far from fine.

You played a part, as did everyone else that supported him, including the teachers who taught him. No-one ever achieves anything in isolation, but the achievement is ultimately his.

Really surprised that the OP admits to "helping" with DSS's course work, when she has a Masters in it. I do hope that she will come clean with the school/uni. And of course the personal statement.

“I’m the one who sat with him to write and revise his personal statement.”

Well done you. Did you sign it too?

I think though it's how it's expressed, and doing it on results day, that comes across as making it about her.

Today is the day for saying how proud of HIM, celebrating HIS achievement.

If in a week or sos time she'd said that she was so proud of how far he'd come and how supporting him had really helped him achieve that, then I'd agree with you.