To think our DSs achievement is a lot down to me?

You sound insufferable Op tbh

Let’s be honest here , not everyone does it. Either due to lack of ability or interest.

Give over.

Well done, horray?!

He did all the hard work tbh - you just did the thing we all do called parenting!

YANBU

Although as everyone else has said do keep it to yourself!!

It's perfectly normal to feel a sense of pride when you help someone achieve something. I hope all the teachers who have helped all the kids getting their results today feel a similar sense of pride . And the parents and the tutors and the nannies. There's nothing wrong in feeling pride in work you've done.

YANBU to be proud of having helped him so much. Well done! YABVU to call him technically' your stepson. He's your stepson, unless he has a technical birth mother now.

While yes you feel you helped, this is HIS achievement and its incredibly selfish of you to try and steal his thunder. Quietly pat yourself on the back but don't muscle in on his celebration.

It’s what we mums do, isn’t it. Support and nurture our children to do their best.

You checked his coursework? So - he cheated then?

I suspect it’s more to do with the “a lot” in the title, which grated on me as well, I have to admit. That’s pushing it. There’s no denying though that OP’s input and involvement DID have an input.

You say 'of course I won't ' OP but for some people it doesn't go without saying. Speaking as someone whose mother still refers to 'our GCSE's/A levels'.

Yes she helped me revise, and remember certain things with memory tricks etc. She was also v generous in helping me financially at uni so I didn't have to work to cover my rent (I still worked, but it was fun money, which was lovely). But It leaves a bitter taste that it's never felt like my achievement, always hers bi-proxy, even if that's her way of showing pride somehow. I'm nearly 40 and she still brings it up in front of her friends.

YANBU to feel really proud of him and the role you've played in encouraging him.

Christ you’re smug.

I have every confidence that you are conveying this left right and centre to all.

Well done to your step son.

She refers to his dad as her husband in a later post 😳

making HIS achievement about yourself- nice one!

She’ll be the young man’s father’s girlfriend.

@Stayinganontoday
Am being reminded of those lauded jockeys and the racehorses they ride
To my mind,
It's actually the horses who do all the work

How can he 'technically' be your stepson?

He either is or he isn't.

You’re not the Main Character today OP. Take a seat.

YANBU but don’t say it out loud and don’t expect him or anyone else to say it. They may sometime but don’t be disheartened if noone ever says that.

We support. We give advice. We guide in the direction that develops the child into the best person they can be. We breathe a sigh of relief at their accomplishments. What we don’t do is put ourselves up front and centre and detract from their successes.

I know you are a step parent but you basically have done what I'd consider "standard" for a supportive parent. So I don't see that you have anything to be proud of any more than cooking him meals and providing him with a roof over his head is worthy of being proud of. and you really shouldn't have been checking his coursework

But I may be biased because my parents like to claim a share of achievement in absolutely everything I do, and it's pretty insulting.

Mentioning Russell group just makes you sound like snob.
Be happy that you have a positive relationship with him, and you have given him the support to flourish.
That alone should be enough.

I think its calling him our son that has put people's backs up add to that the admission that shes only really had a relationship with him since he was 14 and no mention of any help or support that his actual mum gave him or even how often she sees him.
Its all about op and how he'd never have gotten the results without her

Often in life we need someone who helps us to flourish, to show us other opportunities.

When I was a teen I had a couple of people who showed and helped me realise I didnt have to do what was 'expected' of me. And years on I get a warm glow thinking about them.

So I thank you for being that person who has helped them to flourish and are moving onto new experiences that may not have otherwise been encouraged.
Obviously you can't say anything aloud. But you know you supported him.

That's what good parents do. It os neither remarkable nor worthy of comment.

My DC went to Oxford and Cambridge. Support and love helped but they possessed the raw intellect, sat the exams and uswd the right techniques independently to get the grades. Their achievement entirely. My reward is to be proud of them and glad for them.

Still have had them in my arms sobbing their hearts put when they've been dumped.