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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to want us to move to Australia in later life?

410 replies

OneFedUpFarmersWife · 12/08/2026 15:52

First time poster. I will give some context for this post. Been married to my DH for 31 years we have a 30 year old DD. This is my second marriage and I have two DD from that relationship. I am 70 and my DH is 74. He is a farmer on a tenanted farm and his family have been here over 100 years. My eldest DD emigrated to Australia 9 years ago and has a great life. I was heart broken when she went taking my two GDC with her ( kids are now14 and 10) I try to get over every year to see them and I love Australia, My youngest DH and her husband have said that they are looking to get a visa to emigrate. My heart dropped but I told her she should try as it’s a great place for kids and it’s something I would have done given the chance. I have told my DH that I want us to emigrate too and he’s said ‘no’ without any discussion. I have lived abroad before so the thought of moving to another country does not faze me. My DH has always lived in this house. He’s a bit selfish to be honest. We had discussed him retiring as I would like to move to our other house which will be much easier to maintain. I’m starting to worry a bit that something may happen to him and I’ll be left with this farm to sort out and live in this big house till I can move. He doesn’t seem to be bothered. He decided not to retire without discussion as he likes farming. I want to go to Australia to spend what time we’ve got left with my DDs. I couldn’t bare the thought of the youngest going. AIBU to want us both to emigrate?

OP posts:
Swiftie1878 · 12/08/2026 16:10

I doubt Australia would let you move there, tbh, at your ages.

Before you get into a ruck with your DH about it, I’d look into it more closely and see what’s possible (or not).

Bollihobs · 12/08/2026 16:09

If your DH is a tenant farmer then surely the tenancy ends if he passes away and the house and land will be rented to a new tenant - and you would be able to move to your other, easier to maintain house. I think it would be less to sort than if you owned the farm for sure.

Would you be eligible to emigrate? Don't you have to be going over to a job that needs you? Points and all that?

Is there scope for long visits? I've no idea of the max length of stay per visit for Australia from here (assuming you're in the UK)

saraclara · 12/08/2026 16:09

When the sixth of her six children joined the other five in Australia, my aunt joined them. She must have been around 70 then, but it was a couple of decades ago. So at least then, joining family there was an avenue to a visa.

Would you go without him? So you think the other daughter might go too?

I must admit that I'd be distraught if my DD and DGCs went, so I do sympathise.

HoldMyWine · 12/08/2026 16:07

You’d get a visa on the basis that more than half of your children are living in Australia but you’d have to pay out a lot. I think in the tens of thousands.
If your DH refuses to go will you go by yourself?

DuckWrap · 12/08/2026 16:07

Have you looked into what is required, how long it takes and the cost? It’s not an easy process.

IamSmarticus · 12/08/2026 16:06

I would think that the biggest hurdle will be getting a visa. Do you qualify for a parent visa? Even if you do, the cost is high and the wait tmes are long.

chipsandpeas · 12/08/2026 16:06

have you actually looked into getting a visa, it wont be easy at your age unless you have megabucks

TeaFizzy · 12/08/2026 16:05

Would you actually be able to emigrate - have you looked into visas and waiting times?

Sirzy · 12/08/2026 16:05

Would you be able to get visas given your age?

stripesandspotsanddots · 12/08/2026 16:02

How would it be for your third DD if you emigrated? Would she be ok with that?

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