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Original poster

Husbands behaviour on holiday WWYD - sick of it

271 replies

encour · 11/08/2026 13:00

5th day of our holiday today. DH insisted we book onto an activity starting at 730am. We both got about 2 hours sleep last night (combination of heat, jet lag and adjusting to time zone).

Dragged myself out of bed this morning, got ready and got to activity. Did it willingly even though it’s not my thing at all. DH was being short with me, which I kind of understand as he’s tired, but he said I was in the way of someone else waiting to do the activity, when I was actually doing the activity - he said ‘your in the way” and it was my turn!!!!). I backed off, and walked away and he said to me oh here we go this again, let’s not do this. Thought I’d just shut up and get on with it because we’re on holiday.

Tried just chatting on the way back from the activity but got one word, blunt answers so gave up.

Then he wanted food, but said the heat had made the lunch I prepared and packed for him “go bad” (we’d been out 1.5 hours and it was in a cool box) so he wanted to go out. I asked where he wanted to go. He was looking, getting really irritated and saying he was hungry, I told him to pick anywhere and I’d go with him. He said I needed to pick - but I wasn’t hungry? I said honestly anywhere. He got offended when I just wanted a small plate and was huffing and puffing.

Then we saw a place of worship (my religion, not his) and I asked if it was ok if I went in. He came with me. I was looking at the altar and he pointed something out, but I couldn’t see it, he was getting really irritated and then physically pushed my head down to see it. I told him not to do that, and turned around and saw a group of people looking at us, could feel the tears coming but held them back.

Then he was complaining about everything and I said I’m happy to do what you want to do, which attracted eye rolls.

Because of the heat he’s asked to come back to the villa. Now he’s being really nice asking for a cuddle whilst he naps?

WWYD? I’ve got another 3 weeks of this. Had doubts before the holiday about the relationship (too long to go into), but the head pushing feels very nasty. He’s got form for this on holiday, telling me I was wearing local dress wrong and pulled an item off me in front of onlookers.

OP posts:
BettyJoanPerske · 12/08/2026 07:46

He's abusive. LTB. The being all nicey nice after a day being awful is all part of the pattern, and is designed to keep you trapped.

MyDeftDuck · 12/08/2026 07:31

I wouldn’t be taking any holidays with that waste of space again! His true colours are emerging and he’s a ‘too handy’ bully! Walk away!

Calendulaaria · 12/08/2026 07:29

He's like a teenager and you're his mummy he's taking all his anger out on

LBFseBrom · 12/08/2026 06:31

He sounds dreadful, why are you with him?

countrygirl99 · 12/08/2026 06:26

Are you sure it's thousands for a one way flight or is that what he tells you? You can get a flight from Sydney to London this week for less than £400

tamade · 12/08/2026 03:00

encour · 11/08/2026 17:06

I don’t have the money to fly back, it’s thousands of pounds for a flight.

when I say he pushed my head, it wasn’t a violent shove, it was a jolt forward as I was looking down.

I know he doesn’t like me, my self esteem is on the floor

Borrow it if you can.

tamade · 12/08/2026 02:58

There is no way I could "grin and bear" this for three weeks, go home if you have the means. You are not safe.

Sensiblesal · 12/08/2026 01:49

SunnyRedSnail · 11/08/2026 13:56

I wouldn't be cuddling him. I'd be having a frank conversation with him.

"I don't particularly want to cuddle right now. Your behaviour today was embarrassing and pushing my head down was unacceptable. It was controlling and I didn't like it"

People need to stop consulting chat gpt and cutting and pasting absolutely terrible and dangerous advice.

the OP has been physically abused in public, she is a victim of DA & you are telling her to red rag the bull.

unbelievable and incredibly dangerous

Purplerubberducky · 12/08/2026 01:31

He is abusive OP. He won’t change. There are decent men out there, your dh isn’t one of them.

user1492757084 · 12/08/2026 01:27

He is a nasty brute.

Issue a warning about divorce if he ever touches you unkindly again.

Try to work out a way to sleep.
Can you swap to an air conditioned room?

Don't agree to all activities that you don't want to do. Give H your blessing for him to go off alone many mornings. Participate in the planning. Your H sounds like a bully.

dh280125 · 12/08/2026 00:22

There's a reason holidays end relationships... and you are seeing it in full, the real unfiltered him.

Phelicity · 11/08/2026 23:44

Encour, would you even dream of giving your husband’s head the same “jolt forwards” as he gave yours? I bet you wouldn’t, because it’s a vicious thing to do.
You shouldn’t accept this type of bullying. Take the good advice so many people have given you, and plan to make a happier life for yourself without him.

Stepsisterfromhell · 11/08/2026 23:14

I usually eyeroll when the Mumsnetters start in with the LTB chorus but babe, this guy is an asshole and he does not like you. Get out and away from him as fast as you can. The airfare will be well worth it.

Italiangreyhound · 11/08/2026 23:12

I am so sorry. "I know he doesn’t like me, my self esteem is on the floor"

Really, a husband, or any partner, should make you feel cherished and loved.

you deserve to be loved and cherished.

DrumsPleaseFab · 11/08/2026 22:50

Look why are you in a relationship with someone like this? Why?

It makes no sense to spend a day with him, let alone a holiday, let alone a lifetime

goodness come to your senses please

this is not the behaviour of someone who loves you

tooloololoo · 11/08/2026 22:33

What the hell
you sound trapped with

I would want to leave after this

Gardenisablooming · 11/08/2026 22:31

Contact the airline .
.say you a victim of DV and can you swap 1 flight home. They might say yes.

And flush his passport down the loo as you leave..

Pinkissmart · 11/08/2026 22:00

Nope. Nope nope nope.
I’d just go home. Like, dump him first, but then go home. If he does that in front of people, then he’s a ticking time bomb.

HeyThereDelila · 11/08/2026 21:56

He’s abusive. Quit the holiday, come home, pack a bag and get a divorce.

UnintentionalArcher · 11/08/2026 21:55

encour · 11/08/2026 17:06

I don’t have the money to fly back, it’s thousands of pounds for a flight.

when I say he pushed my head, it wasn’t a violent shove, it was a jolt forward as I was looking down.

I know he doesn’t like me, my self esteem is on the floor

It doesn’t matter - there is no ‘only’ a jolt. This was violent physical assault in which he used his superior physical strength to control and belittle you, letting you know what he is in charge and that he has the power to do even worse should he choose to. And men like this usually do choose to. Pulling clothes off you is similar - you can see the escalation from pulling clothes to pushing your head. What next?

Do everything you can to get away from this man as soon as possible, as safely as you can. Contact Women’s Aid. They will help you to make a plan. Tell all of your friends and family who you trust what has happened - getting it out into the open keeps you safer and makes you more likely to have support.

I wouldn’t confront him as statistically men like him become more dangerous if they feel that you might leave them. Quietly make a plan to leave with as much help as you can from those you trust and then put it into action.

It’s natural that your self esteem is on the floor because he has designed his abuse for it to be so. This makes you more likely to comply and less likely to leave. How dare he.

mamaE123456 · 11/08/2026 21:38

Go home, without him, leave him there, he can decide where to go to eat without you. What a useless man. Not sure how you can stand him. You seem to have put up with enough!

pimplebum · 11/08/2026 21:25

DH was being short with me, which I kind of understand as he’s tired,

this stood out to me , it is NOT ok for a grown man to be short with you. A toddler yes , partner no . You were not grumpy with him

leave him stay on holiday, get a different room / hotel and change your seat on the plane

DanaScullysLegoHair · 11/08/2026 21:20

encour · 11/08/2026 17:06

I don’t have the money to fly back, it’s thousands of pounds for a flight.

when I say he pushed my head, it wasn’t a violent shove, it was a jolt forward as I was looking down.

I know he doesn’t like me, my self esteem is on the floor

I haven't read the full thread after your update so I KNOW others will say what I immediately thought.

You're doing the mental gymnastics amd minimising already. Your original post seemed a thinly veiled cry for help.

You KNOW it isn't right. Don't allow this to continue. It doesn't matter what he says and does, the times that he DOES do these things is really what he is.

It doesn't get better, only worse.

You can be calm again and have a wonderful life away from this 'man'.

Katigee410 · 11/08/2026 21:02

This sounds like underlying issues, at the least I think counselling, holiday should be your happy time and it sounds like you have to talk, dare I say consider your situation together

samqueens · 11/08/2026 21:02

Do not get pregnant…
I repeat: DO NOT GET PREGNANT
Your self esteem certainly won’t improve as long as this guy is in your life. It may not improve after, but at least then you’ll only have one thing to tackle. He will ONLY drag you down.
Get through the holiday and then get out.