Guests bring their own lunch

Just so glad I’m not that sort of person…

This is outrageously rude and inconsiderate. When my friends are unwell, recovering or have a new baby I always bring food over - something for straight away and something for the freezer. I don't agree with those saying it's a miscommunication. If they weren't sure if you would be preparing something for yourself they should have brought something for you just in case. I am pleased you can laugh about it, I would be so upset and disappointed with such selfish and thoughtless behaviour, especially if I'd just had surgery.

FFS what did she think you were going to eat?

That is the rudest anti social behaviour I have ever heard. Are they completely thick? How could anyone invite themselves to your home at lunchtine knowing you are recovering and on crutches and not bring you anything for lunch. I would have sat there looking wistful and said quietly"I thought you were including me as I am recovering and on crutches I haven't got any food in" just to make them feel bad. How was the conversation after lunch?

Ah but they gave you the gift of a great anecdote! Unbelievable behavior!!!

Weird

I’m not sure how anyone could perceive that yabu - if I was visiting a friend who had had surgery, I’d be there with flowers and food! I’d also triple check that they don’t mind us coming and if there was anything they might need if we did (not just lunch!) and I’d do all the washing up etc!

Yeah exactly. I honestly hope you don't think I was making excuses for them. I just was grasping at straws as to what could possess them to believe she wouldn't want the food!

🥴 How embarrassing for them! Why were they visiting you when you are recovering if not to see how you are make things easier for you?

Op it’s like something out of The Office completely not normal behaviour! Get Well Soon.

What bellends. This reminds me when my husbands siblings turned up with their kids out of the blue, 4 days after an emergency c section. There was 14 people who came and they brought a lovely cake one had made but did cook a chilli in my own kitchen for me and DH to eat it that night. Things is they left all the washing up, and all the plates from the cake they brought. I was not impressed

Wow that's embarrassing, I am absolutely cringe for them. I would have hoped it would have dawned on them and they would have tried to back track. Not going with what people are saying about lack of communication etc, I would think most civil people would bring food for four or just fuckin control themselves for the couple of hours they were in your house and eat before or after.

I can only hope that the CF's are on MN and read this thread, although sadly, even if they did, I bet they wouldn't recognise themselves!

I do wish her “ friends” would read this, and feel ashamed!

Steady on!
They couldn't even manage a spare pot of yoghurt.😁

My mum did this after I had a newborn, first day of my hubby returning to work. Baby was tongue tied and breastfeeding was a lot of work. She rocked up “to help” with a packed lunch for herself and told me not to worry about her 😂

Thoughtless or what?! Surely you’d bring food for someone who’s just had surgery and can’t cook?

It's rude of them, so YANBU.

They have a 10 year old, so they know how difficult it would be when you would have had a newborn with guests wanting to come over. If the mum can't cook anything for guests, she can also barely cook for herself!

It is rude of them.

They should have at least asked you if you wanted anything bringing in.

Did they at least bring a gift?

You don't sound like a wet lettuce, or if you do then I think you should own that title as being the bigger person in the way you were is not a bad thing. If you were to let them pull the same stunt next week that would be another matter, but you have no intention of doing so.

It's easy to say this across a screen, but I'd want to send a message. "Hi friend, I've been wanting to say this since you came over but haven't been able to find the words. Firstly, I appreciate you making the effort to visit me. Everything after that has left me feeling a mixture of offended and confused. You know how affected I have been by the surgery as I told you. I explained that I couldn't even prepare food for myself, let alone you. Yet you turned up at my house with your own picnic and not a single thing to share. Then you left your dirty dishes for me to wash up, knowing how physically challenging that would be for me. I've never seen you behave in anything other than a considerate way, hence the confusion. I have twisted my self in knots trying to understand this fron other angles, but no matter which way i slice it I feel very hurt by your family's behaviour in my home at a time when I was feeling very vulnerable.".

She may not reply, but if she's always been a good friend I'd at least want to see if she had anything to say in response.

I guess maybe you have never been in a situation that simply takes the wind out of you and you have no words?

I'm 57 so I've been in plenty of awkward situations. However, I couldn't sit there 'having no words' for a couple of hours whilst people who are supposed to be my friends, take the piss.

What rude and inconsiderate so-called friends. I’m sorry this happened to you OP. It’s the last thing you need whilst trying to recover.
If I were in your shoes, when I had capacity, I’d let your ex-friend know how hurtful it was that they had come over and excluded you from their picnic in your home. Not that it would change anything but you’d hope they would explain their (odd) thought process and presumably be mortified by their behaviour.
Wishing you a speedy recovery.

I know of a similar couple. They call in unannounced and generally expect to be fed. I remember they stopped in a takeaway on the way once...and only got chips and goodies for themselves. No chip was offered to me.

I don't think they can really entertain themselves. They are dead bored. That's why they visit. The lady is also so gossipy.

That couple sound like total users Op. Next time they visit, make dinner only for yourself and eat it in front of them. It's what they did to you. Or better yet....totally avoid them.

The misunderstanding about not bring food for you isn’t outrageous, misunderstandings happen.

However, the fact that when they went to put their own food together, they didn’t say “we only brought food for ourselves but do you have anything in you’d like me to fix for you while we’re in the kitchen?” is very odd.