Guests bring their own lunch

Unbelievable! I’m afraid you have rubbish friends.

Never let them invite themselves again!

That is even fucking worse! They are piss taking CFers. The sort who would visit after you had a baby and expect you to be making them drinks and food.

I would be letting this "friendship" drift, I wouldn't even meet away from your house tbh.

That is appalling!
And ignore the muppets blaming you for poor communication.
In your circumstances not only would we have brought lunch for you as well. We would have brought some easy meals to put in the fridge and in the freezer to save you the struggle of shopping and preparation.
Sorry to say but this is not a friend.

That’s so shockingly rude, who does that, and to not clean up after. To sit there scoffing and watching you with your toast. How unbelievably rude can people be,

Thats shocking and I hope they see this post and recognise themselves.

Oh shit I’ve done this, not exactly the same - I was visiting a family who were having a very rough time and due to trains I’d be there over lunchtime, I said I’d bring a packed lunch to save them feeding me and I literally did that - brought a packed lunch for myself. It never occurred to me that maybe they were expecting me to bring enough for everyone but maybe they did. Sometimes we can do things with the best of intentions to ease things for our host and then get it spectacularly wrong 🤦‍♀️. If they aren’t selfish arseholes usually then maybe let them off!

Rubbish

I don't know what's worse them inviting themselves round when you said you wasn't ready for visitors or them not sharing their food with you. People seriously need to learn the word no

Yes they should have, and I think most people would have, and brought extra for the OP to enjoy when the visitors had gone home, but over the years I have learned that not everyone thinks in the same way.

I am sorry it happened @thevoiceofreasoning but unfortunately it is something you have to file under WTF and try to laugh about in the future. At least now you know that these friends need to have expectations spelled out to them in words of one syllable down to the finest details.

I hope you feel better soon, and that you have more empathetic friends who will bring you cake.🍰

This happened to me after 4 months in hospital completely non weight bearing with a severely fractured leg. People who I'd taken food packages to in lockdowns...happily told me they were passing my house to wander IKEA or similar...no offer to get shopping as I had for them...I was on 2 crutches and really weak and exhausted. No offers of support at all. Other friends were wonderful ..helped me to fracture clinic...quite the eye opener about who people are and their character OP.

I think they initially made a social faux pass to not bring lunch for everyone but once they realised you didn't have anything they ought to have stretched it 4 ways. Too not do so was rude and inconsiderate. I hope they didn't leave you with the washing up.

I’m so sorry to read this OP 😔
I can’t imagining visiting a friend who was recovering from surgery and not bringing food for them. Even if you weren’t up to eating with them, I’d have made sure you had some food plated up to eat at your leisure after I left.

It did remind me of a time where I felt a similar sting. I had 9 month old twins, ex husband had left me and my life was in tatters. My brother and his partner were expecting their second child so I offered to have my 2YO niece for the night so they could have some alone time. My life was chaos so another child wasn’t really an issue!

I was running on fumes and not sleeping or eating well. When my brother and his partner turned up to drop their daughter off they both sat down in my kitchen and started opening up meal deals they’d picked up from the supermarket! I barely had time to brush my hair in those days let alone make and eat a sandwich and I couldn’t believe it.

It was so out of character for them both as they are both kind, considerate people… but I think if you are viewed as the “strong and capable one” people can’t comprehend that you’d be anything else, even if your life is upside down!

That's incredibly rude of them.

Lol, your friends are shocking!! It is quite funny though.

So they made work for you-as in you'd have to clean the plates etc-but offered nothing? Seems odd.

It does seem very odd as it wouldn’t have taken much to bring enough for 4 and at least offer it to you, whether you were up to it after surgery or not. If they are normally considerate friends I’d give the benefit of the doubt and assume a misunderstanding but I agree with you and my initial feeling would be thinking it was very rude.

They should have rung to ask if you needed anything else buying if you are laid up, on top of getting you lunch too.

Rude AF! Imagine treating anyone like that,let alone a friend in recovery.

I could understand if they got something out for a hungry/fussy toddler only but that's literally it (and clearly not ze case as the DD is 10).

My kids aged 10 and 14 would have known how rude that was and would be mortified.

My BIL was like that though. I was on crutches and he dropped in for a cuppa. He stood there waiting for me to carry his cuppa to where he wanted to sit. Finally he picked up his cuppa and sat down I was left standing! No more did that happen: I never made him a drink again and this was 30 years ago.