Guests bring their own lunch

What the actual fuck

I was surprised to see them in the first place as they have zero interest in me or my children. So yeah, normal behaviour.
ive now not seen either of them for years. I don’t think my mother has even noticed that she hasn’t seen any of us! That’s how insignificant we are!

I think all parties in this story were wrong.

You, because you weren't firmer about not feeling well enough for guests, so accepted to receive guests anyway without a plan of how to host them. I'm sorry, but if you accept guests in your house, it's normal to offer something to drink and some kind of nibbles or snacks, at least. But, you could also have ordered food for lunch. It was bad hosting to offer nothing. You should just have told them to come another day when you were more up for having them properly.

Them, because it's super rude behaviour to bring food to someone's house, and not offer them some - especially if they aren't well! The inviting themselves is also rude as Hell...

So yeah, all around, I think everyone doesn't come off well in this scenario.

Good for you. I'm glad you didn't make them a cuppa. Was that normal behaviour for them? Did they ever apologise?

They shouldn’t be inviting themselves full stop.

Your friends are awful! 20 odd years ago I was an 18 year old with my own flat. In their defence they were all 18/19 too living at home with no concept of bills.
I was playing pretend adult/ the mum of the group. Ridiculous in hindsight. I would make a full roast dinner from new friends I’d met on the estate I’d moved to.

Every Sunday without fail for over 6 months a perfect roast for all of us.
I was lonely, not seeing family and working shifts.
One week I was off work sick - first time ever had no idea I wouldn’t get paid the following week. Not a penny! Obviously couldn’t feed them or myself.

None of them brought so much as a packet of crisps or something offered to pop to the shops and get something for us. Then they all left when they got too hungry to hang out.

They were all surprised the following Sunday when there was no Sunday dinner and I told them it was never happening again.
Glad to see you won’t host them again. Good for you.
I hope your recovery is going as planned. Wishing you well

Please drop them from your friendship circle.

OP, my post was in jest and aimed at what awful rude people your ex friends are. Not you.

At no point have I implied that you are a limp lettuce and if you bother to read my previous posts on your thread you'll see that I said I'd have expected myself to react in the same passive way due to being so gobsmacked by their antics.

Hope you feel better soon.

Day 4 after c section my mum & sister arrived, empty handed.
I hobbled to the door and let them in. Told them I was about to bf my screaming new born so they sat, in their coats at the dining room table watching me waiting for me to finish so I could make them a cup of tea.
“stick the kettle on, I’ve not had a drink yet today” says I… “ no it’s ok, we’ll wait for you to do it” says my mother.
Pair of cunts did not get a cup of tea that day. Instead they sat in awkward silence watching me. I told them I was going back to bed with my baby and they could let themselves out.
Fuckers.

How rude of them! They really messed up there.

What absolute bastards.

I would be more than happy to bring food round AND cook/share it with you! That they didn't is incredibly weird. They had the nerve to sit in your house, use your gas, crockery, and then sit there and say "oh what are YOU doing for food?" Wow, just wow.

They wouldn't be friends of mine any longer.

in this case i agree

Nah!
Communication is more than the words you say. Communication is about observing that you have delicious sandwiches and a wonderful variety of salads, and your friend is struggling to make a piece of toast. Communication is about reading body language, sensing that someone is a bit disappointed.

this is what the guests should have asked ; “We're bringing our own food because we know you're not up to cooking. Is there anything you'd like us to bring you?”

Arlanymor is correct

Wow! They sound very odd. How likely is it that you hear from them with a “lovely to see you” type text? What will you say in reply?

OP, I can hardly believe their cheek!

If I was you I'd have to call them out on it. Something along these lines:

"Dear Margaret, I appreciate you making the effort to travel to visit me on Saturday. It was good to catch up.

I told you beforehand that I was not able to cater for you and I assumed that you might have understood how much I would have enjoyed someone bringing lunch for me. I was surprised that you brought food only for yourselves, and then ate it, without sharing, when all I could manage to make was a piece of toast.

During your visit you would have observed how incapacitated I am at the moment. You did nothing to assist me, and then left me to clear up your dishes. As a consequence your visit left me feeling more depleted than before you came.

I understand that it can be awkward in someone else's house, not wanting to overstep and clear up - but you could have asked. You could have asked if I'd like to share some of your delicious looking food. You could have asked if I'd like some help to make my toast. You could have asked if you could make things easier by washing up and putting away the dishes.

I send this because you may wish, in other situations, to be more reflective about how you support a friend in a challenging situation."

Cheeky fuckers they aren't friends. Even worse they brought a child when they knew your circumstances and left their mess for you to clean up after them. Don't invite them again make an excuse if they invite themselves again.

Epicly rude. They deserve a Mumsnet Golden Raspberry or something for Outstanding Thoughtlessness.

You know how sometimes you read threads on Mumsnet and think 'crumbs I hope the person it's about doesn't read this!'? Well this isn't one of those - I hope the "friends" of @thevoiceofreasoning do read this and realise quite how disgustingly self-centred and frankly batshit their behaviour was!

Hope your recovery is swift op