Page 12 | Guests bring their own lunch

Tamtim · 10/08/2026 01:32

Utterly bizarre.

Enigma54 · 10/08/2026 01:28

Bloody hell OP, how utterly bonkers, selfish, weird and whatever else! I mean they are shite friends! Hope you didn’t make them any tea????

Original poster

thevoiceofreasoning · 10/08/2026 01:03

MyCrushWithEyeliner · 09/08/2026 23:53

This is shocking!

I’d love to know what the conversation was like, did they ask how you were, if they could do anything to help whilst they were there?

The conversation was sort of a normal catch up stuff. They asked about my surgery but it wasn’t the main focus of the conversation, Their little girl is quite lively so she took up a lot of the conversation!

OP posts:

Original poster

thevoiceofreasoning · 10/08/2026 00:55

Wtafdidido · 10/08/2026 00:04

I think it’s my sil! They do this. Invited my son on a day out and she said they would take a picnic. I assumed she meant for her her husband and my 12 year old. Nope. They proceeded to unpack their picnic at the destination and had only brought two of everything. They were most out out that they had to share!

Wow! That is even worse to invite a child and then not cater for them? Unbelievable!

OP posts:

Original poster

thevoiceofreasoning · 10/08/2026 00:51

MolkosTeenageAngst · 09/08/2026 23:06

It is odd behaviour and normally I would say rude, but you say this is out of character and they had made the effort to travel 2 hours to visit. Perhaps it was a genuine miscommunication? Did they definitely realise when you said via phone that you can’t cook you meant you are living off toast and crackers at the moment?

If the wife is sensitive and over-strung she may have half realised the faux pas when she asked if you were having anything but was then too embarrassed to own it and re-plate up onto 4 plates. I can imagine being the wife in this situation and then getting in the car and trying to dissect whether we’d misread the situation, whether we should have brought lunch for you etc and replaying it a thousand times in my head but even if I felt mortified at my mistake would be too socially awkward to mention it to the hosts face or apologise, especially if not 100% sure if what I did was or wasn’t what the host expected.

That said, it is very rude they didn’t offer to wash up when they could see you were on crutches! And even if they hadn’t brought lunch the polite thing would be to at least bring some cake or biscuits or something so maybe they are just rude people!

Edited

Her behaviour isn’t normally what I’d describe as a selfish, but whichever way I cut it .. me not explaining my situation properly/ or giving the impression I would make my own lunch but not theirs .. I still can’t imagine that anyone would think it was ok to not bring food for the host in this situation. Plus since she would be at my house through the lunchtime period I feel almost insulted that she would seriously think I would simply make lunch for myself and not them! I think I made it pretty clear to her that I was incapable of preparing/cooking anything, so when she said she would bring food with her I naturally thought she meant for me as well! I don’t think she was too embarrassed to say anything… they all acted as though it was a perfectly reasonable/ normal thing to do! I’ve got bigger things to focus on right now, so I’m not letting it get to me but I was interested to hear other people’s views on it because I do think it’s totally odd behaviour and cannot understand how they could be so inconsiderate …

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Bryonny84 · 10/08/2026 00:10

WTAF? You told them you weren't up to it then they arrived with food for THEMSELVES!!! I honestly just don't understand people like this. They should have arrived, made food for you, asked if you needed any help around the house, needed shopping etc etc. I'm old school and that's what I'd have done if I'd even invited myself in the first place.

Wtafdidido · 10/08/2026 00:04

I think it’s my sil! They do this. Invited my son on a day out and she said they would take a picnic. I assumed she meant for her her husband and my 12 year old. Nope. They proceeded to unpack their picnic at the destination and had only brought two of everything. They were most out out that they had to share!

dijonketchup · 09/08/2026 23:55

Incredibly insensitive and rude of them. I would have made you a big quiche or tub of soup or something so we could have lunch with bread and salad and leave you leftovers. And brownies or flapjack too.

On the plus side, you now have an absolutely wild anecdote to tell your actual friends, I would treasure this one…! And probably hang on to the nonfriends in case they do something equally bizarre and hilarious in future. But not rely on them for support again.

MyCrushWithEyeliner · 09/08/2026 23:53

This is shocking!

I’d love to know what the conversation was like, did they ask how you were, if they could do anything to help whilst they were there?

SecretSquid · 09/08/2026 23:38

thevoiceofreasoning · 09/08/2026 22:17

Nope! Did not bring a single thing or offer to do anything aside from plate their own meals! Lol

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Good grief. Probably just as well you weren't feeling your best, it could have got ugly if you were well enough to feel enraged!

Kokonimater · 09/08/2026 23:30

Kokonimater · 09/08/2026 23:28

How appalling of them not to ask if you’d like them to bring you something in too.
To not take care of you in that way. So sensitive. I’m shocked.

Insensitive!!

Kokonimater · 09/08/2026 23:28

How appalling of them not to ask if you’d like them to bring you something in too.
To not take care of you in that way. So sensitive. I’m shocked.

Delilah26 · 09/08/2026 23:23

That is truly appalling. These people are not good friends.

aloris · 09/08/2026 23:22

I can't believe they did all that and then left you their dirty dishes to wash. On crutches! Utterly bizarre.

Elboob · 09/08/2026 23:17

Bloody hell. That's crackers.
And leaving the dishes too!!

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 09/08/2026 23:10

Bizarre behaviour - very mean of them

MolkosTeenageAngst · 09/08/2026 23:06

It is odd behaviour and normally I would say rude, but you say this is out of character and they had made the effort to travel 2 hours to visit. Perhaps it was a genuine miscommunication? Did they definitely realise when you said via phone that you can’t cook you meant you are living off toast and crackers at the moment?

If the wife is sensitive and over-strung she may have half realised the faux pas when she asked if you were having anything but was then too embarrassed to own it and re-plate up onto 4 plates. I can imagine being the wife in this situation and then getting in the car and trying to dissect whether we’d misread the situation, whether we should have brought lunch for you etc and replaying it a thousand times in my head but even if I felt mortified at my mistake would be too socially awkward to mention it to the hosts face or apologise, especially if not 100% sure if what I did was or wasn’t what the host expected.

That said, it is very rude they didn’t offer to wash up when they could see you were on crutches! And even if they hadn’t brought lunch the polite thing would be to at least bring some cake or biscuits or something so maybe they are just rude people!

CalmBalonz · 09/08/2026 22:48

Nasty fuckers

Original poster

thevoiceofreasoning · 09/08/2026 22:44

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 09/08/2026 22:08

OP, my post was in jest and aimed at what awful rude people your ex friends are. Not you.

At no point have I implied that you are a limp lettuce and if you bother to read my previous posts on your thread you'll see that I said I'd have expected myself to react in the same passive way due to being so gobsmacked by their antics.

Hope you feel better soon.

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So sorry, that reply wasn’t meant for you! Thanks for your good wishes

OP posts:

sesquipedalian · 09/08/2026 22:42

OP, I’m aghast. If they hadn’t wanted to cook, they could have popped into the nearest supermarket and picked up quiche and salad and nice bread and a bit of cheese - for all of you. I just can’t fathom what on earth they were thinking - well, clearly they weren’t. Shockingly poor form, OP - I feel for you. And nothing else, either, for you the poor invalid - I would have expected a bunch of flowers or box of chocs at the very least. I hope you’re feeling a bit better after your op.

Aussiemum87 · 09/08/2026 22:38

thevoiceofreasoning · 09/08/2026 16:50

I have recently had surgery and I am pretty immobile … just about get around on crutches indoors. Friends (m and f married couple with 10 year old daughter) wanted to visit me at my home. I’m not really up to guests to be honest but they more or less invited themselves. I agreed and they said they would arrive around 11am and stay until about 3pm (they live a couple of hours drive away from me). Since this timing clearly spanned over lunchtime I thought it was only fair to warn them I wasn’t really up to making a meal for them, which is something I usually always do when they visit a few times a year. The wife says oh that’s not a problem we will bring something with us. i thought oh that will be nice … a bit of company and something nice to eat brought in!
Well they all arrived carrying big cool bag and busied themselves putting things in my fridge etc. We chatted for a while and then wife stood up and said she would fix lunch… checking with me where I kept my plates etc. whilst I remained sat in the lounge. When everything is plated … individual pots of salad, wrapped up sandwiches etc. kind of picnic style and she announced it was ready, I suddenly realised that she had only put out 3 plates for them and had not included me! She then turned and said ‘Oh are you going to make yourself something and join us?”
I was so shocked I just mumbled oh I will make myself some toast. And then sat there with them eating a couple of slices of toast whilst they had their individually plated picnic goodies! The funny thing is I truly believe they thought they were being considerate bringing their own food so I didn’t have to bother cooking.
I can sort of laugh about it but I am also gobsmacked they could think that was ok! However, now looking back I guess I did make an assumption that they would bring something for me to eat too. AIBU? Love to hear people’s thoughts on this!

Neither want the kids there because it ruins their little fantasy of being a family. I know it’s sad if the kids miss it, but that’s on their father , not you. Tell the kids the truth about what’s happening and let be disappointed by their father.

Franjipanl8r · 09/08/2026 22:36

thevoiceofreasoning · 09/08/2026 22:17

Nope! Did not bring a single thing or offer to do anything aside from plate their own meals! Lol

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Get them in the bin. Their poor daughter growing up thinking this is normal. Why did they even visit?! So odd.

Anyahyacinth · 09/08/2026 22:29

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · 09/08/2026 21:41

this is what the guests should have asked ; “We're bringing our own food because we know you're not up to cooking. Is there anything you'd like us to bring you?”

No this isn't right either, when you are ill..it's really helpful if someone does the thinking...asking what is needed / wanted is often another unbearable burden.

The best thing would have been to remember the food OP had served them in the past and replicate or bring a range of easy food treats.

Similarly people thinking a take away or online shop are easy when you are on crutches is unrealistic. You have to hover by the door (when you may need the loo, to sit etc..)...and when delivered how do you carry bags and use crutches...another huge logistical burden for someone post surgery

Whiteshapelz · 09/08/2026 22:28

MN truly is a parallel universe sometimes.
Hope you recover quickly.

ToadRage · 09/08/2026 22:27

That is awful. My friend had a knee op and i checked before I visited to make sure she was up to it. I didn't stay for a meal but if I had planned to and was bringing it myself I definitely would have included her in that meal. I asked if she needed anything as I was passing a supermarket but her parents were there and they had done her shopping. They are odd friends to feed themselves when you are the one who probably needed it more.