Guests bring their own lunch

No that's frankly a bizarre interpretation to put on what was said.

Oh, I can totally imagine only bringing food for my family and thinking that was the correct thing before arriving, depending on the phone call. I’d have probably just thought that you’d be eating whether I turned up or not and by bringing my own, it meant I wasn’t putting you out as you’d just do the same thing you were going to do.

I’m really not good at social interactions but because of this, I’d have never decided myself in someone else’s house that it was lunch time and gone to the kitchen and started plating up without them suggesting it was that time first. I also don’t understand how she got all the way through plating it up without realising you weren’t making anything. Even I would have realised when I entered the kitchen alone and been internally panicking that I’d clearly brought multiples of 3 of everything. I’d probably have tried to solve it by asking what you’re having and said that I’d prepare/cook it for you.

I think you were quite right and handled this well. However, when you're better, you really should let them know why you want no further contact.

That’s really weird. Also, unless they live hours and hours away, why would they have needed a cool bag?

It's bizarre bc they obviously really wanted to see you shown by them driving 4 hours that day. They didn't seem to want anything from you but were obviously thoughtless.

If I was the guest I would have brought enough for you as well so we all had lunch together, bit rude to make yourself at home and not offer the owner some food when they are recovering from surgery

But that's just it.

I am, and always have been popular.

Being polite but with firm boundaries doesn't prevent that.

It just means it's far less likely that you/your kids will be walked all over by others.

I bet you're very popular! Not!

Stop making excuses for them!They were bloody rude and sat eating goodies while OP had a piece of toast. How did they tbink she could manage if almost immobile. Sorry but if your mum was like that,she was weird too@

Did they not manage to work out that the reason you said that to them was that it's difficult for you to prepare food at the moment, even for yourself? And that therefore, having imposed themselves on you, it would have been helpful for them to bring/prepare lunch for you?

Really thoughtless.

This is wild behaviour from them! How fucking rude. And so weird not to see you having a couple of slices of toast and not go "oh my God, I thought you'd have your own lunch, I'm such an idiot, I didn't think, here, have some of this quiche, there's loads to go around".

Send her the link to this thread. What a weirdo.

I think people can be very strange in how they view things and have taken your words literally " bring your own lunch"
Also they seem to be viewing it as a "day out" for them not a supportive visit for you iyswim?

I have a sister like this
Everything is through her lens and what benefits her
She would come to mine empty handed , drinkloads of wine , eat a huge roast plus pudding , so many times, get up and leave the dishes etc
We went to hers and she said we would have to buy our own food , she wasnt paying for it said in a huffy tone 😂

Never in a gazillion years would I not offer to take lunch for a friend who had just had surgery. I wouldn’t even ask. I would just say that I would sort lunch and do it. So random. So weird and so rude

Reminds me of the time my now ex MIL came over a few days after I’d given birth offering to make us dinner - she asked what would I like??

So I said given I was really run down post birth and felt like I’d eaten nothing but junk and snacks a lovely healthy chicken salad would be great! Lots of veggies and nutrients whilst I’m breastfeeding would be great please. I was also the size of a whale so was trying to not eat anything too calorific

She arrived with a lasagna - no salad or anything on the side - and said she hadn’t fancied salad and SHE had fancied a lasagna

I know - I was hormonal so should have just been grateful for anything - but still why ask what I fancied then just make what she wanted anyway???!!!

My sister and her now husband did this. They pulled onto a grass verge, about a mile down the road from our house, to eat their sandwiches and their car sunk into the grass and got stuck. They had to phone us to come and tow them out with our landrover. They’re tight with money

I am trying to come up some potential misunderstanding/explanation apart from ‘they are horrible people’. I agree it seems strange and no excuse for not checking with OP that they had understood the situation.

Surely with someone Ill,you'd make sure you brought something vegan or whatever,even if you wouldn't eat it? I'm honestly shocked at people making excuses for the nasty friends here 🤦‍♂️😞🙄

Why on earth would anyone just assume this though? Really? No excuse.

Nope, whichever way you look at it,even if op hadn't asked,you would assume the host is included in the lunch, especially when she's poorly. Bad manners no matter how you want to dress it up. I'd be reconsidering them as friends after that.

OMG stop all further contact that's not the behaviour of sensible people! Hope they washed up and put their rubbish out?

Did they wash up/clear up after themselves, put the dishwasher on ......etc?

They are either very rude or very stupid.

Absolutely. They were probably baffled why you weren't more appreciative of their great efforts 😂.

But to be honest I'm still struggling to get over this line, "Oh are you going to make yourself something and join us?”. Even if we take the surgery, pain and crutches out of the equation, I just cannot wrap my head around inviting a person to make their own food and eat it with me in their own home!

@LejlaKapovic I too don't think you read the OP's posts. Cooking and providing drinks and snacks to the interlopers! 🙄
This is the OP

Did @LejlaKapovic even read the post?!
The poor woman could barely move using crutches.