Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teen daughter has come out gay

217 replies

nowhatx · 08/08/2026 22:11

My teen daughter has told me she’s gay. I’ve told her I love her whatever she is and we’ve had a cuddle. I’ve had a cry on my own. I don’t know why????? She’s 15

is there anything I need to do or nothing I’m just a bit taken back and nobody to talk to x

OP posts:
LakeGeneva1 · 08/08/2026 22:26

nowhatx · 08/08/2026 22:22

In general. Cause I’m her mother. Worried about her feelings, her fears, etc. I don’t know why it’s a shock to worry about your 15 year old coming out as gay. Just general mum worry. Good GODDDDDD

Show quote history

Your feelings are totally valid. Does not make you homophonic. It can be challenging to be gay. Ignore all the haters.

Pieandchips999 · 08/08/2026 22:25

It's really positive she can come out to you. My wife's Mum had a similar reaction many years ago. She thought life would be hard for her and that she wouldn't be able to have children. She now realises there was nothing to worry about. My wife was so much happier when she wasn't hiding things. The best thing you can be is be supportive and try and be positive.

Skippyasyermuni · 08/08/2026 22:25

nowhatx · 08/08/2026 22:22

In general. Cause I’m her mother. Worried about her feelings, her fears, etc. I don’t know why it’s a shock to worry about your 15 year old coming out as gay. Just general mum worry. Good GODDDDDD

Show quote history

Ah, so if she has sat you down and said, “mum, I’m straight,” then you’d have had a cry and been worried?

She will be a hell of a lot safer with a woman in her future than a man, statistically speaking.

I think people are pretty sick of homophobia dressed up as concern. Your kid being gay is not a reason to cry.

Eggybreadwithnuts · 08/08/2026 22:24

Florabella · 08/08/2026 22:24

Oh come on. Sadly there is still a lot of homophobia around. It is perfectly normal to worry that your child may have to face that.

Show quote history

Well said 👍

Florabella · 08/08/2026 22:24

thedogisfine · 08/08/2026 22:21

What are you worried about?

Show quote history

Oh come on. Sadly there is still a lot of homophobia around. It is perfectly normal to worry that your child may have to face that.

Skippyasyermuni · 08/08/2026 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Worry for her why? What is wrong that being gay requires worry?

Eggybreadwithnuts · 08/08/2026 22:23

Nothing you need to do...be there for whenever she needs you. So brill she felt comfortable telling you ❤️

Oh and IGNORE the negative comment...we all are 🥰

DishingTheDirt · 08/08/2026 22:22

Be glad she felt able to confide in you. There's nothing that you need to do. If she's always gay so be it. She may be bi. She may change her feelings. Sexuality is fluid. Embrace her preferences.
Ultimately your dd is still the same person.

Original poster
nowhatx · 08/08/2026 22:22

thedogisfine · 08/08/2026 22:21

What are you worried about?

Show quote history

In general. Cause I’m her mother. Worried about her feelings, her fears, etc. I don’t know why it’s a shock to worry about your 15 year old coming out as gay. Just general mum worry. Good GODDDDDD

OP posts:
SerenaCat93 · 08/08/2026 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Don't be so dismissive. Most people don't care if other people are gay or not but being gay makes life harder for people. There is still a lot of homophobia around and it makes having children a lot more difficult and none of us want that stress for our children. If my daughter told me she was gay I wouldn't be upset that she was gay but I would be upset about the extra difficulties she will face in life. I have gay friends and they have to deal with things I don't.

thedogisfine · 08/08/2026 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What are you worried about?

Gooseling · 08/08/2026 22:19

is there anything I need to do

Be prepared for her to experience homophobia and fetishisation as she navigates her life.

You need to encourage her that homophobic people are deeply insecure and hateful, and she should always stay true to herself.

Be happy and proud that you’ve raised a daughter that feels comfortable opening up and confiding in you.

nowhatx · 08/08/2026 22:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Nousernameideaaga · 08/08/2026 22:19

Nothing you need to do

Shes done the hard part - now you just carry on being her Mum 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Besidemyselfwithworry · 08/08/2026 22:17

@nowhatx
it must have taken your daughter a lot to tell you and that’s a great sign that she’s close to you and knows you’ll love her no matter what.

I think just be onhand to chat to her about her feelings, keep the lines of communication open and let her know you are always there for her.

was this a massive shock or did you have your suspicions about a particularly “close friend”
I just think the biggest thing atm is that she felt comfortable telling you and that to me says it all ❤️

MademoisellePraline · 08/08/2026 22:16

Ah, all is well. It'll take a while because you perhaps had a different version of your daughter as an adult in your head....but that's all she was, your version of a person that hasn't happened yet.

The real, lovely, brilliant daughter in front of you, has let you know who she is. A whole new path is lying ahead for you, but for her, it's always been her path. And now you're privileged enough to share that and walk it with her.

All the best, both of you.

Skippyasyermuni · 08/08/2026 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Swipe left for the next trending thread