Teen daughter has come out gay

Was this a total shock to you OP? My DD is gay and I had clocked when she was about 11 that she probably would be. So I had years of assuming that this would be her future by the time she figured it out herself.

Touched a nerve there?

Get lost... are you 5? 😂

Ludicrous comments. Have a word with yourself!

Don’t be so bloody dismissive and naive.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckg98j5e49do

https://www.nottinghamshire.police.uk/news/nottinghamshire/news/news/2026/june/appeal-after-suspected-homophobic-attack-that-injured-teenager/

https://www.gloucestershire.police.uk/news/gloucestershire/2026/march/cctv-appeal-after-suspected-hate-crime-at-lgbtq-venue-in-gloucester/

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cpvpzzrj81no

https://www.lincolnshireworld.com/news/crime/police-appeal-for-witnesses-after-alleged-homophobic-attack-in-skegness-8515355

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/city-centre-cctv-so-poor-34090851.amp

Don’t be so daft. Crying suggests an outlet of emotion, her daughter told her something that’s a big deal to the daughter, they had a good talk about it and then OP privately let emotion out. She’s doing a great job. So get lost

Nope. Crying suggests fear, disappointment and a need for curated acceptance. Entrenched homophobic behaviour.

Being gay is not a sentence or a choice. Its just who she is - crying, even in private suggests you arent happy with who your daughter is.

Careful there, OP.

Yeah this. ^ I think a small handful of posters on here are projecting all right!

Firstly pat yourself on the back. You've done a good job. I once had a 15 year old telling me they were bi and then beg me not to tell their parents. So bang gold star.

Last night I went out with a group of friends from school we are in our late 50s . One realised she was a gay at 40 and regrets the missed years of happiness...

All you can do is warn your daughter that some people will dislike her just because she's gay, some will take the piss and (I am male) a lot of blokes will want to "convert" her or watch he and her partner or join in....

i second this.
my teen daughter came out to me when she was 14. I was devastated at the time, it was 1996. She had boyfriends since then and realised it wasn’t for her. She has turned out to be the amazing woman she is today and very happy in the relationship she has with an amazing woman I love.
listen to your children. Give them all the love they need, they are not children for long.

To be honest. Be glad she's told you.
All you need to do now is listen.

Maybe see if she wants a cup of tea

Teach not treat - sorry
Thankfully with counselling my friend is recovering slowly

It’s fantastic having a lesbian daughter, mine is. Love her fiancée, never seen her so happy. They’re getting married next year.

Ignore the salty comments, OP. Your DD trusted you, you love and accept her and you said so. All is good. And of course you worry for her, because anything that deviates from "straight, monogamic person" is harder. Denying that would be a disservice to your DD.

@nowhatx I stressed when DS came out - a bit older than your DD so I get it
My worries were mainly that life could be harder for him
We might pretend otherwise but homophobia still exists
An older (50+) gay friend of mine was recently attacked and gang raped - apparently to ‘treat that poofter a lesson’ it’s horrific in 2026
DS tells me he’s always careful and checks out his surroundings before being openly affectionate with his DP in public - that’s not something I’ve ever had to consider as a straight woman!

Try to embrace this? My DD (14) has told me that she is Bi, she’s not, she is gay, I’ve known for years. I’m delighted that she doesn’t have to date toxic masculinity but at the same time I’m worried that her life may be a bit trickier to navigate.

I have a lot of wonderful male gay friends whom she has always known and spends time with. I’m trying not to wish DC onto her selfishly but honestly having her was the best experience of my life and I hope she has that in her life too.

Do you any gay friends? If so talk to them about coming out, take everything they say onboard, it’s great that she is talking to you about this. Happy for you to PM me

Ignore the handful of posters telling you to get a grip, and you have no right to have a little cry @nowhatx it's a shock. As has been said, life for someone who is gay has more challenges than people who are straight. Also, there is the possibility of no bio grandchildren. People have every right to be upset or disappointed, maybe don't tell your children this, that you're hoping for grandchildren, but you can be disappointed.

As I said, ignore the (few) rude posters. They are clearly projecting.

Because sadly, even though it’s 2026, homophobia and hate crimes against gay people still exist.

And the rise in right wing political parties (Reform, Restore, Advance Britain etc.) can cause uneasiness within the LGBT community. Such as: Nigel Farage initially voting against same sex marriage. Rupert Lowe criticising the display of pride and rainbow flags.

Why are you unpleasant to the woman? She's not bothered that her daughter is gay, but when you bring your kids up you envisage a particular future for them. I'm not saying that is right or wrong but it is what you do. When that child comes out as gay, the future you envisaged gets swept away and replaced with a different perspective, not better, not worse, just different. You cry because you mourn the passing of the future you envisaged before pulling yourself together and looking towards a new and different future. It's OK to cry.

I get it OP - I have a gay teen DC too. It’s emotional partly because any discussion of sexuality etc (gay, straight, whatever) represents your child growing up and entering that world. That’s a big thing! There is also worry about homophobia - I think that’s natural. However since coming out, my glorious DC has always maintained a quiet confidence in the face of the occasional nasty comment from immature peers - and even organised Pride at their school. They love their identity and I love that for them.

Oh come on, it's still a shock and there is still prejudice everywhere, just not so openly. At least she didn't say she was trans.

What do her feelings/ worries about her child have to do with you? You are clearly projecting here!! What are you unhappy about?

It is natural to cry and worry. You are grieving the life you thought she would have. It is a shock to begin with. You sound like an amazing mother.

My friend’s daughter told my friend she was gay. My friend was concerned she would be bullied (everyone was very supportive and she didn’t receive any negativity), she was concerned she would never have children (she is currently pregnant with baby number 2). My friend has a lovely relationship with her daughter’s partner.

God, why do people have to be so obtuse? 🙄

DD is gay or bisexual she's not sure she's had a girlfriend for about 8 months now. At first or was strange and even though I had suspicions still a shock.

Like you I don't really care who she dates as long as they are nice to her.

I do worry about her being targeted and hurt for being gay and have warned her about PDA in certain situations but then I used to worry about her dating boys and all the misogyny that some of them seem to have got into.

DD girlfriend is lovely and we get on well she often comes with me to watch DD play sport.

Just keep talking to her interestingly a lot of the teen lesbians hate the rainbow and think pride is a bit shit.

My son came out as bisexual at 13, then gay at around 18.

wtf is there to cry about? It’s 2026, nobody cares anymore about sexual orientation, there’s nothing horrible about saying that.

get a grip!