Niece has just started uni. She’s staying over the summer this year. I live close by, hence why it’s me dealing with this and not her dad.
Basically she texted me a few weeks ago saying she’s short on rent. I replied I’m not bloody surprised mate you’ve been out a lot, I’ve seen you instagram story. She acknowledges she was silly and asked me for money. I said I’m not giving you money, you can pick up extra shifts at work and I’ll drive you to and from them.
Basically she works for a pub chain, you can pick up extra shifts at surrounding pubs - but they’re normally ones out of the city so they’re a pain to get to if you don’t drive. She picked up around 25 hours and made almost the rent, I paid her the remaining money and said since it’s a first offence I won’t make her pay me back - but next time I will and there will be interest so there better not be a bloody next time. I also ensured she has food in the fridge and that the rest of her stuff is sorted. I did also make her tell her mum and dad, but she pretty much decided that herself. We’ve had a chat (bit of a lecture) about budgeting and I’ve made her a spreadsheet. Put her through the wringer a bit about how she’s lucky I can afford to help her out right now and have I’ve got my own kids to worry about blah blah blah. Me and her a good now, she definitely thinks I’m less cool but at the end of the day that’s fine. I’m not your mate I’m your aunt and all that.
Told a mate about it and she said I was harsh and reminded me about my uni days. When I’d spend all my money on drink and then have to eat noodles for a week or go and get the free food from Christian Soc (you’d get a free toasty while they preached at you, they were yummy and well worth the lecture from the god squad). I was definitely silly with my money but I didn’t have to be bailed out by my parents at any point. Once my dad did send me a Tesco shop of vegetables because he “didn’t want me to get scurvy” but that was about it.
I don’t know, I think I’m over thinking but was I harsh? I was trying to teach her a bit of a lesson and I think I was pretty reasonable? I know on mumsnet a lot of parents pay their kids rent and fees and stuff, but my brother is not in the position to do that and tbh I do think it’s good to work.
Also I did have a chat with her about boozing it up too often and a check in about how she’s feeling about alcohol. I am not concerned she has a problem, I think she’s just silly and over excited for her first time at the Fringe. As was I.