Should I be ok with my self employed husband doing all his admin in the evening?!

You seriously want him to be calling customers later than 7.30pm in the evening?

I understand what you mean - but I do think it’s harder when they are self employed. My husband is the same. The buck stops with them so they can’t just switch off when they get home.

it’s hard though , you have my sympathies

I think it just is what it is OP 🤗

It’s the downside of being self employed. I have to do admin at evening and weekends it’s just how it is.

If he needs to be speaking to customers then I think his timing works. He can’t be calling people late evening.
Does he get any flexibility in the day eg if he had a morning off could he have the children and you get a break.

How old are the kids?

What is the alternative? When does he do these jobs and how would impact his income. Is his business the main source of income for your family? Perhaps a compromise of 1 or 2 nights a week when he is more involved in family life. Lots of people work those hours as part of their job. My DH used to leave the house by 8 and not be home til 8 when our kids were younger. I also work term time but his job earned 4 x mine so I always saw the childcare during the week and holidays as mostly my job.

Poor bloke must be working 12+ hours a day and you’re giving him shit for working too hard?

I do think you’re being a bit unfair on him, it’s not the ideal situation for either of you but you need to both come up with a constructive way around it rather than ‘blaming him’ when all he’s trying to do is his job. Perhaps can look at getting some help with the kids during the day to take the pressure off you or can you afford for him to reduce his workload?

It seems fair how it is now. You both finish the days work at the same time and get to chill out at the same time.

if he came home from work, helped with housework then had to do his work admin whilst you watch tv that wouldn't be fair.

You've got two options

1. he does the admin during the day...and isn't earning anything during the time he's doing it
2. you do it

Being self employed isn't easy, especially on the tools. It takes one delay delivery, one unforeseen issue, one pain in the backside customer and you are running late or working for pennies. Admin is a necessary evil. Now tax is digital it has to be done regularly, you just can't leave it till the last week of January. You need to bill, quote, chase, liaise with other trades.

So does that mean you expect him to be working after the kids have gone to bed?? what do you do at that time? Work? Chores? Or relaxing?
Or do you feel his jobs should bedone before 6pm?

As tough as it is on you OP, I really don't see that he could do anything differently, to keep his business running smoothly. When you're self employed, if you don't keep right on top of the admin, it's a nightmare. Does he do the bookkeeping too? Could you take some of that type of admin from him? Doing that can be a good tax break too!

YABU to expect him to do it later in the evening.

Would you rather he worked fewer days, say worked 4 days a week and then used the 5th to catch up on admin and only earnt 4/5 as much? That's a genuine possibility but I suspect you won't like it.

Unless there’s some vital bit of info being withheld, YABU.

Could you work more and he cuts down to 4 or 4.5 days working and one day (or half day) for admin?

Maybe see if you can help him with any of the admin, instead of resenting him having to work such long hours? You could agree that he only does calls in the early evening, and you help with other admin working with him 3 evenings a week, for an hour after the kids are in bed.

I guess if his business is doing really well financially, then as an alternative, you could ask him instead to finish the hands on work an hour early 3 days a week, and do the admin then - but this sort of thing can only work if the business is thriving.

I don't think it's fair to expect him to do it later in the evening when he'll be more tired and will make his working day longer. That's life when you're self employed.

My DH was self employed when our kids were little and we didn't have the advantage of term time working. School holidays were really hard to cover.

YABU sorry. As someone who is also self employed, the work never stops. You can’t just stop when you walk in the front door however much you might want to.
im guessing his work considerably contributes to your household income? In which case you cannot really complain unless you are willing to sacrifice a significant proportion of that income. If he doesn’t get the admin done he doesn’t get the quotes out, or the invoices out, staff paid, taxes paid, materials purchased. It all is important and whilst it might not directly be the bit that brings the money in. It is absolutely essential and needs doing when it needs doing.

I sympathise with you I really do. Could you get more involved in the business and take on some of the admin for him. So he can come home and spend some time with the children and you do the quotes or the invoices etc?

How old are they?? If they’re going to bed at the same time as you then they can be that small! Or are you gong to bed really early?
I do think its fine to ask that some days he is available for family time in the evening but I do also think that in your set up you are the primary carer during holiday times.

So he’s working 10 hour days, 50 hour weeks, for most of the year.
and you work term time hours.

you should be doing the mental load tbf!

the alternative is he takes on 30% less customers (and thus profit) and does these 2 hours admin during a normal working day. Would that work for you?

i run my own business. The admin takes about the same amount of time as delivering the service. So for every hour paid work it takes me 2. I manage that by only taking maximum of 3 hours per day delivering the service. And getting paid for 3. It takes me 6.

You're taking the piss aren't you? Your kids are older so it's not like you're running around after toddlers.

He needs to do the admin to make the phone calls. And he needs to be able to do his admin and make his calls to keep business coming in, invoices paid, materials ordered etc.