Husband blames Mumsnet

Op by being on here you’re validating how you feel. You have already sown the seeds for a new life. You must be honest with yourself first and trust your own judgement - you have already done the former ….

Have you got your ducks in a row? Make sure all your legal documents are safe and easy to access or safe out of the house. Have a bag packed and see if you can stay with your sister or a friend. Then file for divorce. It really can be that simple.

Is the house in both names? Mortgaged? Do you have any pets that would need to go with you?

That could have been my mind I guess ...😂

LTB (leave the bugger)

I always thought it was leave the bastard

OP I'm so sorry.

Your posts come across very clearly: please don't doubt yourself.

Next step: there are a lot of people here who can advise.

I am not a LTB (leave the bugger) shouter as a habit, but there are times when people need support getting out of a situation. You have posted about the "Mumsnet" comments, but are you really posting about how to leave?

Tell him some men do this with Reddit.
And then ask friends/family if he's being unreasonable. He does have a point that some internet randoms seem to like to stir up strife. I'm not one of them, but if you ask people who know and care about you both, and they still say he's being unreasonable...

I've been in lots of relationships and they've all been rubbish in one way or another. I'm glad I'm single now.

Yes, I didn't think it through at the time.

I hope you get out OP, while you still have some life to live.

My own mother should have left my dad and if she'd managed to do so even after I'd been kicked out of home I would have been thrilled, not angry.

Maybe that’s because they put their money where their mouth was and finished with them!

Do you talk about Mumsnet a lot OP? Because that may be 'triggering' him a bit!

You need to bite the bullet. Get out & live finally a life free of this bully.
My H (similar) had a stroke, I’m now his carer… It couldn't be worse.
Please save yourself

If anyone asks, my hobby is hanging out on Mumsnet and giving support to women dealing with nasty men.

Please leave this man. You don't deserve to be treated like this.

I’m not sure I’d do anything other than tell him he was a patronising prick.

My abusive ex did this because he hated the fact I had people supporting my decisions or pointing out his behaviour wasn't abusive - it made it harder for him to gaslight me, something was stopping me being suspectible to his emotional abuse whilst losing his ability to alienate and control me and he couldn't stand it.

My DH hates it when I tell him about threads I've read on MN. He says "not bloody Mumsnet again!" and switches off! 😳

It's a man/DH thing. Ignore lol. Tell him Mumsnet said so..! 😂😂😂

A fear of starting a train that may end in a crash

You're already in a crash.

You do know from being on MN that you don't need to give a reason for divorcing these days - there are ' no fault ' divorces

and do you know that you can start your divorce online - it only takes a few minutes.

This website lays the whole process out for you

https://www.gov.uk/divorce/file-for-divorce

your ' children ' are now adults so need need for maintenance / CMS, no 50/50 etc

😂 Tell him we're all waiting. We enjoy judging.

I get that you are distressed and probably still hope to magically turn him into a decent human being, but at this point, you shouldn't bring Mumsnet up with him. He's obviously not going to take it seriously and will only use it to further convince you that you're the problem. Avoid arguing with him if you can put your energy into thinking of ways of leaving.

If my partner pisses me off I tell him I’m going to start a thread on Mumsnet and they’ll tell me to leave him 🤣

They know the truth. They will see right through his lies.

You will not lose your children. Quite the opposite, you will likely gain more quality time with them if abusive DH is not around.

Similar situation here - seemed the right thing to do at the time but at 64 I regret it now.

If it helps start planning.
You don't have to leave immediately but you can begin to explore what your options are.

My dh is not a bully but he has an opinion on everything and now we're retired anything I go to do he's there mansplaining. However, when I was very ill he was amazing and looked after me to the point he cancelled his own gp appointment as he would have been late visiting me in hospital.

Think seriously about retirement with a bully like your dh, it will make your life unbearable.

My ex used to do this. I did not know that it was coercive control until very recently, after my second DH died and I think the shock (he died very suddenly) opened my eyes to why I had always found it difficult to shake off my anger at my ex - which late DH always said I should do and tried to help me and it took over a decade to do.

Lots lost although I left because I left my DC with ex and whatever he told them about me stuck. They go on holiday with ex but only ever visit me and my DD has no pictures of me in her house. I am afraid to mention this because I fear they will withdraw from me even now if I suggest their DF was not the person they think he is (even though they know he is 'difficult').
Do leave this relationship, OP. You will be much happier (I was, even though my ex cast a long shadow).