Page 3 | Husband blames Mumsnet

Howtorespond · 2026-08-05T22:30:27+00:00

if I challenge my husband’s bullying, or disagree, I’m told “here we go, it’s Mumsnet again”, or “f***ing Mumsnet”, or “what does Mumsnet say”. I’m really worn down.

Irami · 06/08/2026 16:20

Hi everyone looking for advise. My council assessed my son due to autism and said he is eligible for his own room .we are total 4 people me my husband and two boys .council said to bid on 2 to 3 bedroom house but when I bid on 3 bedroom my queue position goes to 80,100 etc but on two bedroom it goes to 22,11,2, .I am confused .I am living in bedroom atm ..council said you are eligible for 3 bedroom but we given you 2 bedroom so its your choice.

Sensiblesal · 06/08/2026 16:16

Howtorespond · 06/08/2026 16:05

its awful isn’t it- he says Mumsnet is a bunch of stupid ‘Karen’s’ who hate men and are idiotic and probably fat. I hate him

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I mean I hate to agree with this man that sounds like an absolute weapon but he isn’t wrong on some of it. There are a lot of keyboard Karens, a lot of men haters, lot of family haters, lot of very bitter people.

some just like the drama and want to scream LTB.

it’s hard to tell if every post is genuine but some of the posts on here, people definitely need help & support.

Your husband seems to have been reading it a lot

shuggles · 06/08/2026 16:16

@Howtorespond For some reason, the mental image of a husband saying "what does Mumsnet say" during an argument is really funny for me.

Ifyounevergiveup · 06/08/2026 16:12

Howtorespond · 06/08/2026 16:05

its awful isn’t it- he says Mumsnet is a bunch of stupid ‘Karen’s’ who hate men and are idiotic and probably fat. I hate him

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Here we go. A lovely shout of clarity and you’ve reached it wonderfully quickly. Keep saying it. “I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.” Make it your mantra through the wobbles to come. Read the threads called There We Are Then (of COURSE it’s an acronym and a well earned one too) to show you the glory which can be reached when you realise you have a husband problem, not a you problem. Mumsnetters are fierce warriors and we are here for you. You hate him. You hate him. Move on and if he tries to get in the way, mow him down.

Original poster

Howtorespond · 06/08/2026 16:07

KellyK2026 · 06/08/2026 16:00

Then that’s very strange that he would say that and have that reaction. If that’s the case I’d probably run for the hills.

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Oh I have never said ‘people on Mumsnet think xyz of you’. It’s if I offer and opinion or disagree with something he says, I get the ‘oh this is Mumsnet’. He knows it’s a largely female site and I think that scares him.

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YachtMistress · 06/08/2026 16:05

Proud MN Harpie here. Learnt so much from many years of frank and sound support exchanged between MN women.
Hope you find peace and freedom OP

Original poster

Howtorespond · 06/08/2026 16:05

sunseasand25 · 06/08/2026 15:59

Adding to the chorus of get away from him please! I’ve been through this albeit we were together a shorter time. What stopped me leaving was questioning my sanity and knowing that he’d unleash his fury at me for leaving. He made some suicide threats and has been as mean as possible with maintenance. I still am so glad every day I left him and just feel so much joy at being able to be free to see family and work and do anything without getting verbally abused. How do you think he’d like it if you acted like he did and he had to spend his life being forced into smaller places where he can’t win? Doubt he’d put up with it. Wishing you strength. My ex also slagged off Mumsnet calling them “internet ghouls” 😂

its awful isn’t it- he says Mumsnet is a bunch of stupid ‘Karen’s’ who hate men and are idiotic and probably fat. I hate him

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Hellohelga · 06/08/2026 16:01

DawnBreaks · 06/08/2026 01:31

My Dad used to say similar to my Mum, only it wasn’t Mumsnet, it was Woman’s Realm!

My mum used to say I’d read it in Jackie and was jumping on the bandwagon if we had words.

watchingthishtread · 06/08/2026 16:01

In this instance - Mumsnet blames husband.

KellyK2026 · 06/08/2026 16:00

Howtorespond · 06/08/2026 15:55

This is my first post on Mumsnet x although I have reacted to loads of comments on other posters’ posts

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Then that’s very strange that he would say that and have that reaction. If that’s the case I’d probably run for the hills.

sunseasand25 · 06/08/2026 15:59

Adding to the chorus of get away from him please! I’ve been through this albeit we were together a shorter time. What stopped me leaving was questioning my sanity and knowing that he’d unleash his fury at me for leaving. He made some suicide threats and has been as mean as possible with maintenance. I still am so glad every day I left him and just feel so much joy at being able to be free to see family and work and do anything without getting verbally abused. How do you think he’d like it if you acted like he did and he had to spend his life being forced into smaller places where he can’t win? Doubt he’d put up with it. Wishing you strength. My ex also slagged off Mumsnet calling them “internet ghouls” 😂

Herwhodoes · 06/08/2026 15:58

My hb's the same, doesn't know about MN, but moans about my being on fb with all my 'friends', not that I post anything, its just an excuse for them to rant & have a go, nothing is ever their fault, turn every disagreement roubd so your at fault. If you have the chance leave now. Good luck & take care xx

Original poster

Howtorespond · 06/08/2026 15:56

MyDarlingRose · 06/08/2026 15:49

‘Stop trying to avoid or evade the topic at hand’

Tried that- and the response is to mimic me saying that.

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Original poster

Howtorespond · 06/08/2026 15:55

KellyK2026 · 06/08/2026 15:31

This might be a controversial take but can I ask why did he say that? Do you often post personal issues on MN and then come back at him with the responses? Because I can understand how it might be frustrating if you go on MN every time there’s a disagreement and then come back to him saying ‘well, look I’m right because this is what MN says!’ (not saying you do that, but that might warrant a defensive reaction). MN can be useful but it’s not professional advice. MN users make an opinion based on very little information and Threads are biased because they are wrote from the perspective of one person in the relationship (which then biases the responses in the author’s favour, typically). So by all means use MN as a tool but don’t take the advice as gospel (ironic, I know).

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This is my first post on Mumsnet x although I have reacted to loads of comments on other posters’ posts

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Apinklie · 06/08/2026 15:54

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Apinklie · 06/08/2026 15:52

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Sensiblesal · 06/08/2026 15:52

Howtorespond · 06/08/2026 11:23

Thank you all for your responses so far. I’m not very au fait with quoting people but I appreciate your time. When I have an opinion eg on politics, holidays, anything really- and not only if it is an opinion he doesn’t share, the immediate response is always ‘oh did Mumsnet tell you that’. I used to deny it but arguing is utterly futile. So now I just say ‘hmm, something like that’. He constantly wants a reaction. It’s very trying and lonely. There’s not really any kindness and certainty no compassion or love. Everything I do is wrong. He said I sounded ‘retarded’ (a word I abhor) when talking to an airline operator about a cancelled flight - which was jolly complicated. For example.

That word coming back in ‘vogue’ is awful. Like you I find it abhorrent. Deffo enough to LTB

It’s not easy to leave esp after such a long time. In fact it’s probably the hardest thing you will do but it will be worthwhile.

how do you see your life without him?

Original poster

Howtorespond · 06/08/2026 15:52

MuddlingMackem · 06/08/2026 15:06

OP, if you do Facebook, you may find this helpful, it's one women's relaying of leaving her abusive husband. Although depending on how controlling he is you may want to watch it with your sister on her FB account.

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61576820222334

Thank you xx

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pointythings · 06/08/2026 15:50

Howtorespond · 06/08/2026 15:46

Ah no we have been married 30 years, together 36 x

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So you're 54ish. You could have so many wonderful years of freedom. My marriage ended when I was just shy of 50. I have been happily single for 8 years now. Just do it.

MyDarlingRose · 06/08/2026 15:50

Howtorespond · 06/08/2026 15:47

I do agree- and he says he doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him. So there’s no ‘shame’ for him if people pull him up on it

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He doesn’t care what his wife thinks of him?

MyDarlingRose · 06/08/2026 15:49

‘Stop trying to avoid or evade the topic at hand’

Original poster

Howtorespond · 06/08/2026 15:49

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

He has seen over my shoulder and asked what it is. He doesn’t know I’ve an account on it just that I read it. I often just tell him funny things I’ve read. But whenever I challenge him it’s ’oh here we go, fucking Mumsnet again’

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Original poster

Howtorespond · 06/08/2026 15:47

DanaScullysLegoHair · 06/08/2026 14:17

He knows there are plenty of intelligent women on here who can see straight through him and exactly what he is. He is threatened by this as he knows he is abusive towards you. Any outside opinion threatens his hold over you. He doesn't want you to have support or encouragement, it weakens his position.

So it makes sense he will try belittle you and everyone here. He is hoping you'll stop visiting or having any sort of opinion.

Have my first ever LTB. He sounds like yet another weak, inadequate man. Don't let him diminish you any further, you know who you are and you're much stronger than you think.

I do agree- and he says he doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him. So there’s no ‘shame’ for him if people pull him up on it

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Original poster

Howtorespond · 06/08/2026 15:46

xino · 06/08/2026 14:17

So are you still only 48? That’s so young! You could spend another 30 years (or more) if you stay. Doesn’t that thought frighten you more than leaving him?

Be brave OP. You’ll be so glad you did. Sending courage!

Ah no we have been married 30 years, together 36 x

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Original poster

Howtorespond · 06/08/2026 15:45

Dorothyperky · 06/08/2026 14:08

I'm sorry you're in this position @Howtorespond

You haven't said your age and if you work? Do you have any savings? You have qualifications, do you need to retrain?

Personally I would LTB (it's bastard I heard Justine on tv). You don't want to be caring for the arse of a man in old age. That's an earned ,privelage for a loving spouse not someone who doesn't even like you.
Get your half of the marital assets and buy yourself a small but pretty girl pad. Don't make it attractive to CFs.

Mumsnet can be a huge power of good. I've learnt lots over the 25+ years I've been a member. It maybe an online community but it's a female centric one and I'm afraid shitty men don't like it
Get on rightmove, play house and start your divorce.
Old bullies can become violent. Don't give him the chance. X

Thank you so much xx

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