Husband blames Mumsnet

He copies your voice? That alone is a deal breaker. That's just not on.

I take it these are all very very close friends who confide in you!

We knew a couple husband retired was very boorish everyone avoiding his monologues. His wife inherited her parents house and money. She was gone in a flash. I gave her a quiet cheer.

Another wife mid forties left her husband when he inherited a pile of money after yet another affair.

Another mid forties married to an awful man fled with another man for her sanity, she was on so much medication was like a robot. Left the children as well.

Sometimes we break. Sometimes freedom comes through widowhood and I know a fair few merry widows.

Yes, very best of luck OP x

@Howtorespond

Best of luck. See that solicitor and remember the words of Christopher Robin: "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think".

They will be cutely aware of how unhappy both their parents are and I think will be relieved more than anything by you ending it

How old are arr you children?

I expect they'll be happy for you.

He has a very weak position.

Tell him to listen to Womans Hour on radio 4. Its for far more intelligent people!!

Sorry if missed but any children?

He will be snooping and trying to find threads or even access or account. If not already hence all his refs to you being influenced by mumsnet

I’m telling you! “There We Are Then”! You’ll know what it means and I don’t believe the penny will ever drop with him! ❤️

@Howtorespond

but he’s MUCH worse now he’s getting older.

Google 'grey divorce'. You are not alone. There are many older couples separating or divorcing. AI said the 60% were initiated by the woman, but I have a sneaky suspicion that the actual number might be higher. Plus I think it more likely that an older woman might just leave but not divorce (I have a legal separation for financial reasons). Older men have usually divorced due to finding a younger or just a different woman, that number probably hasn't changed much, but I bet there is a HUGE increase in the number of women who have just said "Oh HELL, no! I'm not putting up with his shit anymore".

I know a couple where she put up with him being 'the Great I Am' and everything having to revolve around him and what he wanted was the way it would be. She was able to do this because he worked long hours and was pretty much home just on the weekends and then he went fishing most of those. But when he announced to her that he was retiring in 3 months, she realized that him being home 24/7 would be the death of her. About 2 weeks after he submitted his formal retirement papers he came home after a day's fishing to find her gone along with half the money in joint accounts, and a letter waiting for him. She's happy as a clam and he still can't figure out why she left, taking half of 'his' money. She was a housewife, he the breadwinner so naturally all the money was 'his'.

Google AI for 'grey divorce UK':
The Over-65 Surge: ONS trends show divorce rates for people aged 65 and over have climbed steeply, even as general divorce numbers fell.
Ages 60–69: Divorce rates for couples in their 60s in England and Wales have more than doubled compared to figures from the 1990s.
Who Initiates: Women over 55 drive roughly 60% of later-life divorces in this cohort.
Proportions: Over 20% of all UK divorces now involve individuals aged 55 and older

It is nuts, if you've raised them right and they're sensible adults then the most likely outcome is 'thank fk for that Mother why on EARTH didn't you do it sooner!'

If on the other hand your children are arseholes who think the sun shines out of their fathers abusive backside, well.. better off without 'em (I feel this is unlikely though).

So how old are you OP?

No loving H would say ‘you sounded retarded etc’. He’s really horrible. You have every right to leave him and be happy, and do so before you potentially end-up having to wipe his arse for him in old age.

You deserve to be happy. Everyone does. You know that your marriage is not making you happy. Divorce can only be better. Speaking to your DC might surprise you, it's very unlikely they are unaware of your husband's bullying behaviour.

You say when he is not there life is peaceful. Your life going forward could be like this everyday with no one shouting at you or putting you down. Just reach out and take that peaceful life. Your sister sounds like she will help you.

I think your kids will absolutely respect you for leaving. I felt bitterly disappointed in my mum for putting up with my dad’s shit for so long.

Sorry- to add- I meant to write this morning but then didn’t catch up with all comments. It’s become much clearer that you are being abused. I’m sorry and hope you can find the power to leave soon. That’ll teach me to be careless!