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AIBU?

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AIBU to install cameras because I suspect my husband is hiding affair?

260 replies

Lovingmynewlifestyle · 04/08/2026 19:48

I need a little help. I have a strong suspicion that my husband is having / starting an affair. He has recently had two meetings (meals out - he paid) that I know of with a married friend, they knew each other before I met him. They talk frequently via text and I think a second Facebook account (that I don’t have access to). He has never told me about this I discovered a message by accident and have since found proof. I think he is now hiding how he communicates via hidden apps in his iPhone, he is very tech aware, and this these hidden apps are protected by touch ID that I don’t know how to get around.

The thing is I am going away tomorrow to visit family 150 miles away. I think this OW is coming around to my house to listen to music. I can’t prove 100%.

Am I unreasonable to get internal cameras? I can organise this tonight if I order now via prime. But I don’t know what to order, any suggestions?? It has to be easy to install. I am not tech savvy.

I have met this person, and we are due out as a group soon. Not leaving my husband so don’t suggest. Need to confront with evidence.

OP posts:
Moveoverdarlin · 04/08/2026 20:12

Yeah you can get a ring camera and install it tonight. But surely if he finds it and he’s innocent you’re pretty fucked. And if he is up to no good, do you genuinely want to see that?? You say he’s tech savvy, and you’re not so I get the feeling you couldn’t pull it off.

If you’re sure she’s coming round, I would come back.

Lovingmynewlifestyle · 04/08/2026 20:08

wishfulthinking25 · 04/08/2026 19:54

You sound a bit crazy tbh. Why don’t you just ask him up front?

I saw a message accidentally and I had to dig around to find evidence. Had I just asked, oh I saw this receipt for a meal he would have said I met a x friend. Literally I was away and phoned him on the day and he said nothing.

OP posts:
Lovingmynewlifestyle · 04/08/2026 20:04

Loloblue · 04/08/2026 19:52

I mean you could also talk to him?

We talk a lot. I want him to connect to friends. No issue with this even female ones. Just tell me about it before hand. I have asked very open questions, eg what are you doing whilst I am away? I hope you are doing something fun. Just doing chores is his response. But I already know he is meeting up. Any suggestions on cameras?

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 04/08/2026 19:58

If you are not leaving him, why does it matter?

ItsPickleRick · 04/08/2026 19:57

wishfulthinking25 · 04/08/2026 19:54

You sound a bit crazy tbh. Why don’t you just ask him up front?

Do men planning/having affairs tend to tell the truth when asked?

I wouldn’t do it, if it gets to the point you suspect an affair and are considering installing cameras the relationship is dead anyway, but I can understand why some people would want irrefutable proof.

ItsPickleRick · 04/08/2026 19:55

The relationship is over at this point anyway. If you think he’ll make things difficult for you, get the proof.

wishfulthinking25 · 04/08/2026 19:54

You sound a bit crazy tbh. Why don’t you just ask him up front?

Loloblue · 04/08/2026 19:52

I mean you could also talk to him?

Pleasedontdoitagain · 04/08/2026 19:51

So if you don't intend to leave him what do you intend to do if you do have your suspicions of an affair confirmed?

canuckup · 04/08/2026 19:51

Return early from your visit?

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