Furious at ds work dismissal

I'll never cease to be surprised at people proudly boasting about how much of a doormat or martyr they can be.

Why couldn't he get the tasks done in his normal work time?

Going out on a limb, I’d imagine they said nothing of the sort and he has assumed it was ‘Okay’ as he hadn’t been pulled up on it……until he was

OP you are obviously upset on your DS behalf. Tough lesson for him to learn, but one that shouldn’t have even been an issue imho. First rule of a new job? GET IN EARLY!

Sounds like your son said... Oh because of the trains I might occasionally be late... This doesn't translate as I will be late every day. Also they don't even have to give a reason given that at this stage in his employment he has basically no workers rights, although turning up late every day instead of getting an earlier train is a very valid one. Your child is no longer a child. They are an adult and needs to function as one. And you need to stop being so entitled that you think that what he was doing wasn't a massively issue. This is a learning curve for you both.

You are still missing the point because you are too busy taking everything so personally.
It is not about what was said to him about being late or being good at the job. His being late isn't in dispute. That is the point. As in how, or why, did he think he could just start his job by even being late? That IS a failing of his and what needs to be addressed. You cannot go into a job thinking "meh, it's too far. I'm not going to put in any effort to catch an earlier train/bus, whatever"
He is at fault. It's a learning experience. Absolutely not worth such angst.

My 19 year lost his job after 2 months for time keeping.
I suspect by them “Being ok with it” he meant they didn’t make a big deal when he was late at first. I doubt he agreed a new start time, which is what you’re suggesting. My son’s employer changed his start time from 8am to 8:15am as he was late. He was still late! I was furious with him.
No employer is ok with them being late everyday, if they were they’d have changed his start time. I think your son is to blame here. If he knew the trains were close then a formalised arrangement was needed - they didn’t offer this, he didn’t ask, you can’t expect to be later every day in a new job. I think you’re anger is misdirected at the employer here.

He actually made a good impression at the interview. He would have turned up on time

You have proven quite definitively that you cannot take constructive criticism. The majority of people commenting don't agree with you and you're just stropping or being catty in response.

Very well put.

Not okay to be sacked for persistent lateness during his Probationary Period? What planet are you on? Is this how low standards in Britain are these days?

What exactly was nasty about that comment?

Some people are incredulous about your son's lack of initiative / work ethic. You seem to be ambivalent, almost protective of it.

If I told my mum that work told me it was ok to be late every day, she would have told me to get my arse on the earlier train and make a good impression.

You either try to do the minimum and get away with it, or you make an actual effort.

Your defensiveness against anyone who's speaking against your son's behaviour says a lot.

As the sister of a man who has lost multiple jobs from his own fecklessness and always been spoiled and pampered and sheltered by our daft mother, I beg you to stop babying him. The best and kindest thing you can do is tell him bluntly that he should have been at work on time and to get off his arse, get another job, and stick to his contract next time. If he's upset - good. He deserves to be upset. He's been stupid and lazy. You think your'e being kind by being all indignant on his behalf by saying 'they said it was ok' and how they made him pay to come in and be sacked etc etc but you're not. Your'e setting him up to become an entitled man child who can't hold down a job. It's not a happy life, believe me.

is that the one where he got it through his parents' contacts and they're paying his rent?

🙄

Son should have been responsible enough to get the earlier train from day one

Has he got learning difficulties??

No this is not ok at all - needs to be time to support and adapt to a new role. It’s certainly unethical, might be worth exploring the reasons for the dismissal and how this was communicated fully with your son. Either way the employer sounds awful so maybe be at his age it’s ok.

I'd want to know exactly how that conversation went.

The employer is being a bit shitty if we take the details at face value, but if there's any doubt over how OK they were with the lateness that changes things.

I disagree. Recruiting people is time consuming and you don't want to do it twice. I think that particularly for a teenager you need to be inducting them properly so they know what is and isn't ok. If someone needs feedback or guidance over punctuality or anything else it should be given. If they then continue to be late then byebye. I wonder if that is actually what has happened here.

DS was clearly given enough rope to hang himself as no employer is going to tell someone exactly what they think of them during a probationary period. No employer is also going to tell an employee what they are doing wrongly during a probation - certainly when it comes to being punctual. That's the point of a probation: to observe how a new employee behaves and decide whether they are suitable for the role. So,...without any interference from his employers, DS showed them what kind of employee he was going to be. He repeatedly arrived late and prioritised his own convenience by not choosing to take an earlier train. It's as simple as that. Not only that though, he went on holiday. Is he mad? Or are you going to defend him (and yourself) by saying that his employer said that that was okay, too??

Most employers are not asking for anything extraordinary. Only to turn up on time, look presentable and do a good day’s work. It's not that hard. We are not being nasty. We are just absolutely astounded that you can't see any wrong in what he did and can't see what we are trying to tell you. If you can't see it then of course you have passed down those values to DS which has led to this.

Hint: the employer kept saying it was fine to turn up late because they knew they wouldn't keep him at the end of the probation. That's how it works.

He should have gotten the earlier train from his first day. Especially since he was new and really needed to prove himself. The company gave him the job ,its up to him to get there on time. They shouldn't have to make adjustments for him. It's unfair on other coworkers. Hopefully it's a steep learning curve for when he secures another job.

I can tell you for a fact my colleague thinks it’s fine to be 2-5 mins late every day they are in the office, even though they’ve been told it’s not ok. They think it should be fine, so that’s what they act upon!

It’s hard to believe someone told him this is fine. I can believe they likely said ‘that’s ok’ as a polite (surely he will pull it together) reaction, the first time and then they watched in surprise as he kept arriving late. During probation I’m not surprised they didn’t provide a warning. They can get rid of you for any reason during this period.
If you start at 9 and are walking through the door at 9, you are late. You need to be ready to start your work at your start time, not sauntering in to faff about for a few minutes more.

I am wondering if there was a misunderstanding. He was told it was OK to be late because of the train. But person telling him meant it was OK from time to time, not that it was fine to do it every day.

I am still not clear why he didn't choose to get there earlier from the start, is there like one train an hour so earlier so he would have been hanging around for ages before he could start work? It's not clear.

Also, in most office roles these days you have core hours, when you can start and when you can leave, it's only when you are customer facing that precise timing is an issue. Would it have been possible to start earlier, cover the core hours and leave without doing more than he was paid for?

I am wondering if starting late is a red herring. There were other reliability issues, possibly related to the part of his nature that meant he misunderstood the thing about it being OK to be late

The person who said they were okay with him being a few minutes late obviously meant on this occasion, not every day. It’s a bit daft of him to take it to mean every day.

In my office, if someone says they used a little of my oat milk and I shrug it off with “it’s okay, I don’t mind, don’t worry about it” that does not mean I’m okay with them taking my oat milk every day. No grown adult should need explicit instructions of “but don’t do it again.” Neither should they need to be told to turn up to work on time within a month of starting.

It’s so so obvious he should have been getting the earlier train it begs the question was he a bit dim about other things while at work? It’s a horrible thing to have happen but you are not going to help him by making out he’s been hard done by. People are more relaxed about time keeping but not everyday relaxed. He probably should have moved his start date until after his holiday too. A few lessons learnt I hope.

@OneGreyBiscuit isn’t coming back because we’ve made her realise her son is lazy and this is his fault, via poor parenting.

Bear with me here… I think people are goading you because you are being unreasonable, he was repeatedly late for a job when he could have always got an earlier train to get there on time. Your attitude towards this is enabling you sound like “my perfect child can’t do anything wrong” and you’re snapping back at people, which is making you come of as unhinged. I am not calling you unhinged btw I am saying you’re appearing to be, I can understand why you’re reacting like this though.