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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to refuse a bungalow when downsizing for our forever home?

221 replies

Opie1 · 02/08/2026 20:35

We live in a 4 bed detached house on a new build estate (30 years old now but you know what I mean).

im 45. DH is 55. We have no kids at home now so have been talking about downsizing. We want to live out in the countryside and I was thinking cottage/farmhouse … however DH seems to have it in his head that we need to move into a bungalow. I hate bungalows, I think they’re for the elderly. Every one he’s shown me has been grannyish inside and 60s/70s vibe on the outside. Not how I had envisioned our forever home at all.

AIBU to refuse to move to a bungalow?

OP posts:
LMichelleFxx · 05/08/2026 03:46

Opie1 · 02/08/2026 20:35

We live in a 4 bed detached house on a new build estate (30 years old now but you know what I mean).

im 45. DH is 55. We have no kids at home now so have been talking about downsizing. We want to live out in the countryside and I was thinking cottage/farmhouse … however DH seems to have it in his head that we need to move into a bungalow. I hate bungalows, I think they’re for the elderly. Every one he’s shown me has been grannyish inside and 60s/70s vibe on the outside. Not how I had envisioned our forever home at all.

AIBU to refuse to move to a bungalow?

Early 30s with 2 young boys. We’ve moved to an extended bungalow. Patio doors off the master bedroom & dressing room with a large open plan kitchen / living area.

Our house gives off modern family home vibes and not retirement living.

I would give serious consideration to a bungalow x x

Roselilly36 · 05/08/2026 04:21

We downsized to a bungalow but I have a disability and it was far better option for our circumstances

PhaseFour · 05/08/2026 05:52

Team bungalow here. Allow me to convince you, OP! Apologies for the long post, but I feel passionate about this.

I moved to a bungalow when I was 50, and have been here coming upto a year. It was the best decision I could have made. It's so practical, spacious and light. I get that many bungalows are poky and dark, but there are some gems out there. Don't rule it out, OP!

On the first viewing, I thought the garden was too small, but now appreciate the compact size. Having something so manageable has ignited a love of gardening I've never experienced before - it makes me so happy!

The peace of mind that knowing I will never have to move again brings (unless I have to go into a home) is priceless. For this alone, I would say don't rule out a bungalow.

It was so bland when I moved in, but it had really good "bones," and I am currently de-grannifying it, but I'm young and it's manageable. I'm actually really enjoying putting my stamp on the place.

I moved here from a big country farm house with acres of land in a semi-rural area, post divorce. Even if you paid me, and removed the XDH, I wouldn't move back there. This house is so easy to live in & I wouldn't swap it for the world.

DC1 has a family of her own & has said she would love to move to a bungalow, so it's not just for the 50 plus age group.

Being stuck without public transport links as you age and your mobility deteriorates is no fun. Neither is being stuck in a difficult to clean, too big to maintain, over-sized house. Ditto for the costs and stress incurred each time you embark on a house move.

My parents are stubbornly clinging on to and rattling around in their 5 bed detatched, and my mum can barely climb the stairs. It's not rural, but may as well be because in order to get to the town my dad has to drive. At almost 80, the time will come when he will lose his licence. Then what? Endless taxis?

Moving at this stage in their lives will be a nightmare & the logistics will fall to my Dsis & I, which, working full time, we can both do without. They should have moved to a bungalow at least 10, if not 20 years ago IMHO, for their own sakes.

There is no way I would ever want my DCs to have the worry and responsibilty of trying to convince me to move for the good of my health. Then there's all the work of sorting out their belongings in order to market the property and downsize.

Why move twice when you can move once? If you move to a bungalow now, it will be your forever home, if not, your next move will be your forever home.

A forever home needs to be future proof, meaning it should support and sustain your independence, making the transistion to the next phase of your life as smooth as possible when things become harder due to aging.

The older you are when you do that, the harder and more costly it will be.

Good luck, OP.

Askingforafriendtoday · 05/08/2026 07:26

SquirrelGG · 05/08/2026 01:52

How is "narrow little staircases" being rude about the British and their homes? Most of you have small houses, no? I live in a small flat and it's larger than many standard British homes.

As for going from stairs to no stairs, surely people are able to undertake other forms of exercise? I used to work in offices with stairs which I was up and down all day, and I did that for decades. There was no difference in my fitness levels once I left work.

You are just being ridiculous.

'Bungalow legs': Will you sacrifice your fitness if you don’t have stairs? - Silver Magazine https://share.google/d2iGYqXzUREkpO8Nb

I have lost the plot regarding the Australian/ British spat, who posted what, when but this is worth a read even though many will think TLDR

Askingforafriendtoday · 05/08/2026 07:40

https://homeshare.quora.com/Are-most-houses-in-Australia-bungalows

Rpop · 05/08/2026 08:21

SquirrelGG · 02/08/2026 21:36

Not this rubbish again! 🙄Some of us live in countries where what you call a "bungalow" is just a standard house and most of us live in them. Somehow we are still able to climb stairs if we need to and our fitness levels are fine.

We also don't injure or kill ourselves falling on the stairs we don't have!

I don’t get all this older person chat and worries when OP is pretty young. This is the most depressing thread I’ve ever read.

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 05/08/2026 09:30

Askingforafriendtoday · 05/08/2026 07:40

Can I ask what you found informative about that 1 post about Australian houses from a Bangladeshi guy living in the USA? Enough to share it with us? What do you think it added to the conversation?

Chocolateistheanswer2026 · 05/08/2026 09:36

We bought a bungalow at 29! It was dated and hideous inside but we have renovated it and I love it now. We are here until we need real old people's accommodation. If one of you has an injury/illness and can't get upstairs, you will be so glad you bought a bungalow and aren't stuck in a living room like some people. View them with an open mind and some imagination as to how it could be and you may be surprised. A lot of modern homes have some quite small rooms but older bungalows often have better proportions so can work really well.

Askingforafriendtoday · 05/08/2026 09:44

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 05/08/2026 09:30

Can I ask what you found informative about that 1 post about Australian houses from a Bangladeshi guy living in the USA? Enough to share it with us? What do you think it added to the conversation?

Sure. I found it interesting having lived in a two storey house in Canberra as a child and now have many friends and a lot of family livng in Perth, Sydney, Melbourne. He's a Civil Engineer, taught the subject at Bangladesh Iniversity, posts examples of different styles of housing in Australia with interesting commentary. Did you click on the read more bit, there's plenty of interest?

I am.now a happy bungalow dweller in UK having moved here with toddler twins and going on to have 2 more as per my earlier post.

Lemonorzo · 05/08/2026 09:46

Someone mentioning the heat in a bungalow has slightly put me off now. Our house is much cooler upstairs because we can open all the windows all the time. What happens when you sleep downstairs

BiddyPopthe2nd · 05/08/2026 09:57

If you are downsizing, is there some budget that can be ringfenced to make a bungalow more your style of home? So getting a nice hotel style bathroom, or decent wet room, or what you like. A kitchen that fits with how you like to cook (or not). A good laundry/utility room. A nice office or hobby space. Remove artex from ceilings and dado rails to make nice flat walls and paint in colours that you like. Things like changing sockets and switches, and internal doors, can do a huge amount to change a 1980s feeling house. And also think about upgrades to insulation, adding solar panels, putting on external shading etc all at the same time - if you are changing windows for double glazing anyway, you can choose modern styles (and even make openings bigger if that helps).

Or if not a bungalow, listen to DH worries and try to find a house that has scope for a good bathroom (including a shower or easily accessible bath) and a room that can be used as a bedroom on the ground floor, and without too many steps on the ground floor.

We moved from a new to a 1980s semi-D a few years ago, for commuting reasons and it was a shock how different it felt for what was essentially “the same house”…but also how much we’ve made it our own since. And currently dealing with someone needing hospital bed and wheelchair so living downstairs.

whirlyhead · 05/08/2026 10:01

I have a single storey house and there's nothing grannyish about it - it has an Ibizan beach vibe to it as it's all white plaster and stone. Having buggered my knees living in a 4 storey house for years it's nice to give them a rest. I've lived in single storey houses for a large part of my life and they are great and easier to clean.

Ladyfromthehill · 05/08/2026 10:02

A bungalow has been my dream since I was 20 lol.
In my home country there is no link beytween a bungalow and beign old, so quite a few people have them and it's soooo convenient not to have to walk un and down the stairs all the time. My parents had their foever home built as a ungalow and it's incredible, but I guess in the UK people dont build homes themselves as much?

pimplebum · 05/08/2026 10:03

You decorate ?

PleaseDontTreadOnTheDaisies · 05/08/2026 10:21

People v defensive of bungalows on Mumsnet! Of course yanbu to not want a bungalow if you don't like them.
If at 45 people had started talking to me about old age and not being able to manage the stairs in future, I'd have been fairly insulted. I'm the same age as your DH and I'm not remotely planning for that yet. Otherwise everyone's forever home would have to be a bungalow.

Randomlygeneratedname · 05/08/2026 10:31

Not a help but my dream home is a bungalow. When we are out of this mortgage im looking to relocate totally to a bungalow down in the south west.

VickyEadie · 05/08/2026 10:33

MargaretThursday · 02/08/2026 20:58

On average those who relocate to a bungalow earlier have problems with climbing stairs earlier. There is a silly name for it: "bungalow legs" or something.
So whereas it might make sense in some ways, it might also mean that your fitness levels go down quicker than you want.

This is why we moved to a 'dormer bungalow' 9 years when we were 59 (me) and 61 (partner) respectively. We have 2 bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs and a bedroom and a shower room downstairs. We still go upstairs to bed, but recognise that if/when we can't, we're futureproofed.

We live in a small town with all the amenities we need, so that when we can't drive any more, everything is nearby. I echo those advising the OP not to move anywhere too "rural". Friends of similar age to us who did this and moved into an absolutely gorgeous, but very rural barn conversion in a hamlet are about to move into a new build property in a small town.

justasking111 · 05/08/2026 11:08

Lemonorzo · 05/08/2026 09:46

Someone mentioning the heat in a bungalow has slightly put me off now. Our house is much cooler upstairs because we can open all the windows all the time. What happens when you sleep downstairs

You open/shut windows and doors. Our cleaner said during this heatwave that our bungalow and others are much cooler than the houses she cleans.

Askingforafriendtoday · 05/08/2026 12:40

justasking111 · 05/08/2026 11:08

You open/shut windows and doors. Our cleaner said during this heatwave that our bungalow and others are much cooler than the houses she cleans.

So is ours. Heat rises so most people's upstairs have been unbearable recently. My son and daughter-in-law have taken to sleeping downstairs in this heatwave

ccccccccc · 05/08/2026 18:02

Besidemyselfwithworry · 02/08/2026 20:42

This
moving is expensive too I wouldn’t move somewhere if I knew I would have to move again especially not for a “forever home”!

Yes, rural living is not ideal when you're older. But not sure the @Opie1 said it was rural? There is a lot you can do with a bungalow in terms of layout and extensions, they tend to have large plots. So "it depends"....

DilemmaDelilah · 05/08/2026 18:07

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a bungalow. There is everything wrong with the WRONG bungalow! Keep an open mind - they are not all horrible 60's monstrosities. We were looking for one for my mum and saw a couple of lovely characterful 1920s bungalows I would have been very happy to live in myself. Also - bungalows are not that easy to find, they are nearly always detached and so on larger plots, so you may not be able to find one you both like anyway.

Your DH also needs to keep an open mind. Finding something which can be future-proofed, whether it is on one floor or several, is the most important thing if you're not intending on moving again ever. It's what we did to our house 6 years ago and I was so pleased that we did when I was diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago. I had a couple of extremely difficult years so having easily accessible bathrooms and a kitchen with drawers instead of cupboards under the counter was a huge help.

Hazzaar67 · 05/08/2026 18:16

I was of the same thought as you but it was the best decision my wife and I could have made. We've been here 6 years now, spent a few bob to stamp our mark on it and would never go back to two floors, but if we wanted to we could always build up. We have an older couple on one side and a late 30's couple with a youngster on the other. It just seems spacier and as you are in your 50's it really is future proofing

omghereistrouble · 05/08/2026 18:17

Best thing I ever did was move to a bungalow. Don't move to rural area or else you will end up panicking if you lose the right to drive or have to deal with illness etc moving will be the last thing you will want to do

OneTipsyDreamer · 05/08/2026 18:30

I’d be more concerned about moving rural into old age.

I live in a bungalow…. Well it’s a dormer now so 2 beds upstairs and 2 downstairs, we’ve fully made it our own so definitely not elderly, it’s been my favourite property of all the places I’ve lived (and
there’s been a lot)

I didn’t ever consider a bungalow (at age 35) but when we were looking to move I committed to viewing everything in our budget (we knew the exact area we wanted so not a crazy amount of properties) and I fell in love with the feel of it as soon as I walked in, green flowery carpet and woodchip wallpaper and all. So you just never know. You should at least view them in person I think.

lindyloo57 · 05/08/2026 18:32

We are moving next week into a bungalow, have lived here in a 3 bedroom house for over 40 years, I'm 65 husband 74 and still working, I wondered if we had left it too late, been a bit stressful but can't wait to move, my son and his partner live in one and they love it, we just thought as we are getting older the bungalow will be easier to manage and maintain , the garden is very much the same size as mine now.