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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to refuse a bungalow when downsizing for our forever home?

221 replies

Opie1 · 02/08/2026 20:35

We live in a 4 bed detached house on a new build estate (30 years old now but you know what I mean).

im 45. DH is 55. We have no kids at home now so have been talking about downsizing. We want to live out in the countryside and I was thinking cottage/farmhouse … however DH seems to have it in his head that we need to move into a bungalow. I hate bungalows, I think they’re for the elderly. Every one he’s shown me has been grannyish inside and 60s/70s vibe on the outside. Not how I had envisioned our forever home at all.

AIBU to refuse to move to a bungalow?

OP posts:
Timeforachange26 · 02/08/2026 22:47

Opie1 · 02/08/2026 20:35

We live in a 4 bed detached house on a new build estate (30 years old now but you know what I mean).

im 45. DH is 55. We have no kids at home now so have been talking about downsizing. We want to live out in the countryside and I was thinking cottage/farmhouse … however DH seems to have it in his head that we need to move into a bungalow. I hate bungalows, I think they’re for the elderly. Every one he’s shown me has been grannyish inside and 60s/70s vibe on the outside. Not how I had envisioned our forever home at all.

AIBU to refuse to move to a bungalow?

Lol I spent my childhood in a bungalow so wouldn't say they were for the elderly

But if you don't want to live in one then don't. No one is forcing you

PickAChew · 02/08/2026 22:50

PrettyLittleRose · 02/08/2026 22:11

Exactly. It's also a load of nonsense to suggest that you can't POSSIBLY have a 'forever home' in a rural area. There are 100s of 1000s of people who live in villages/live rurally, (about 10% of the UK population,) and have done for many decades and are still there at 75, 80, 85, 90 or even older.

Most rural areas have a little shop and public transport, and those that don't have community buses several times a week, pharmacies that deliver, supermarkets that deliver food and whatever else you need, and most people still drive when they are very old. And those who don't have friends, neighbours, and family who help out.

People who are unable to drive and feel insecure and worried living out in the sticks will never move there in the first place. But it's nonsense to say that you can't have your forever home in the countryside.

Show quote history

My parents village used have a bus to the nearest city. Now it doesn't and there is mk community bus to replace it. The one that was tried wasn't viable and folded after a couple of years. They didn't need the bus anyway when they moved there. 20 years on they both have deteriorating eyesight and it's only a matter of time before one or both of them can no longer drive. DM has a good social network in the village but DF doesn't and is struggling.

Knowing that people are managing in rural locations well into old age is no help to those who one day find that they can't.

Aluna · 02/08/2026 22:56

gottakeeponmoving · 02/08/2026 21:44

Why are rural properties a bad idea for retirement? There's a lot of posters saying this. Surely as long as you are within reasonable distance to the nearest town/village and not in the middle of nowhere then taxis and online shopping are an option. Rural doesn't necessarily mean isolated.

It’s fine for the age they are now. But for retirement - if you stop being able to walk or drive for whatever reason - eyesight, mobility - you’re marooned. Sure you can have your food delivered but you can’t easily get to the post, chemist, doctor etc. Getting around in taxis is expensive and difficult.

justasking111 · 02/08/2026 22:59

Opie1 · 02/08/2026 21:38

Might just stay where we are to be honest, didn’t think about the impracticality of countryside living as an old person and I quite like this house

Very wise you're too young to be thinking like this. As our family grew again with grandchildren we needed the space for visitors, DILs.

We downsized from rural to somewhere more convenient at 65. Its a bungalow with a bedroom and ensuite upstairs. DH is 75 now and glad of less work around the house.

FredaMountfitchet · 02/08/2026 23:01

Bungalows are splendid
Generally bigger plots
You can raise the roof and extend upwards
If 60s or 70s bigger rooms large windows door lights and just better styling
So flexible for living .
Usually easy to heat .
Love a bungalow

Aluna · 02/08/2026 23:03

PrettyLittleRose · 02/08/2026 22:11

Exactly. It's also a load of nonsense to suggest that you can't POSSIBLY have a 'forever home' in a rural area. There are 100s of 1000s of people who live in villages/live rurally, (about 10% of the UK population,) and have done for many decades and are still there at 75, 80, 85, 90 or even older.

Most rural areas have a little shop and public transport, and those that don't have community buses several times a week, pharmacies that deliver, supermarkets that deliver food and whatever else you need, and most people still drive when they are very old. And those who don't have friends, neighbours, and family who help out.

People who are unable to drive and feel insecure and worried living out in the sticks will never move there in the first place. But it's nonsense to say that you can't have your forever home in the countryside.

Show quote history

And they’re often lonely and isolated in old age, and totally reliant on neighbours and local services which are now cut to the bone. Generally it causes a lot of hassle for their families.

A little shop isn’t much use if you can’t get to it.

Aiming4Optimistic · 02/08/2026 23:05

Bungalows are often as expensive as bigger houses, so I wouldn't have automatically put them in the 'downsizing' category. They tend to be on quite big plots , so lots of garden and parking space. So your dh might find it not worth the move, if the aim was to downsize and free up money. They tend to be in demand because more people want them than are available.

I think they're great - would love to have everything all on one level.

backformoreofthesame · 02/08/2026 23:09

Well if it’s forever it’s one you will grow old in so YABU

margegunderson · 02/08/2026 23:10

For anyone thinking of buying a bungalow - parents moved into one in their 60s and one became basically housebound years later as guess what? Steps up to both front and back doors.

BoredZelda · 02/08/2026 23:11

IglesiasPiggl · 02/08/2026 20:42

I agree that bungalows before you need one can seem very much for the elderly. But if you're not planning to move again, it's worth buying something that will suit your needs in later life. At least make sure it has things like a downstairs loo, a staircase you could put a stair lift in, an easy garden, etc.

I lived in a bungalow when I was younger, may parents were far from elderly. In fact, they built the houses and chose a bungalow. There are so many benefits to living in a bungalow, it’s ridiculous to say they are for the elderly.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 02/08/2026 23:12

@Aluna It’s exactly the same in a town. Neighbours you might not even know! Services - not sure which ones you mean, but often villages have all sorts going on. We don’t have any buses so living without a car would be difficult but friends help out. I would not live totally isolated from others but most rural communities have plenty going on.

Happyjoe · 02/08/2026 23:14

You're looking at those bungalows with different eyes than you will when you can no longer manage stairs comfortably!
Bungalows are ok if they're big and light enough. Clever design and decorating can make them lovely on the inside.

If it's your downsized forever home, not having stairs or a stair lift in your old age can be a good idea and for sure worth considering.

Ladybird69 · 02/08/2026 23:25

I would have never considered living in a bungalow, then on holiday in a villa with a young family I totally changed my mind. It was great all being on one level! Just like a flat but without the upstairs/downstairs neighbours! I’m on my third now. Yes there are granny like ones but I have always bought airy spacious ones and or extended/renovated to make them so. Call it a single storey cottage if you’d prefer.

Echointhedarkness · 02/08/2026 23:28

Barn conversions can be fabulous and are often single storey.

Cherryicecreamx · 02/08/2026 23:35

I would love a bungalow and I'm in my 20s 😅 but I would like to modernise it! Would redecorating be on the plans?

SquirrelGG · 03/08/2026 01:33

PickAChew · 02/08/2026 22:50

My parents village used have a bus to the nearest city. Now it doesn't and there is mk community bus to replace it. The one that was tried wasn't viable and folded after a couple of years. They didn't need the bus anyway when they moved there. 20 years on they both have deteriorating eyesight and it's only a matter of time before one or both of them can no longer drive. DM has a good social network in the village but DF doesn't and is struggling.

Knowing that people are managing in rural locations well into old age is no help to those who one day find that they can't.

Show quote history

My home town is very small and lots of farming couples still retire to it. There is no public transport but there are shops and a library and most people drive. People also help each other out. The town I live in now is small and even more people retire here. Once again, no public transport, but people manage. We do have a hospital, but for complex illnesses and surgery people have to go to the city.

Flot · 03/08/2026 01:36

Nothing at all wrong with a bungalow - very practical. You can renovate the interior to your liking.

They are very sought after.

If you want to move anyway, I don’t see the issue with getting a bungalow

UpDownAllAround1 · 03/08/2026 02:09

Yes of course

Rpop · 03/08/2026 07:38

IglesiasPiggl · 02/08/2026 20:42

I agree that bungalows before you need one can seem very much for the elderly. But if you're not planning to move again, it's worth buying something that will suit your needs in later life. At least make sure it has things like a downstairs loo, a staircase you could put a stair lift in, an easy garden, etc.

This is so depressing at your age. Honestly, you are too far off thinking like this. You could be bit by a burning the meantime. Anything could happen to property prices. You could have an elderly life with great mobility. Oh my god. Just love somewhere you both like!

Woodsock · 03/08/2026 07:42

I wouldn't move to the countryside for a forever home. You'll be driving everywhere. That will be a pain in winter when you're in good health and a total nightmare when one or both of you have an operation and can't drive.

Buy a slightly smaller home in a town so you're future proofed. Stairs are good exercise.

Moonnstarz · 03/08/2026 08:01

Biased as I grew up in a bungalow and surely they don't have to be an old persons thing! Like any home surely you decorate it to your own tastes.

While for now a bungalow might not be needed, if you were looking for a forever home you need to consider your needs into your 70s and 80s.
I have relatives who left it too late, took ages to convince them to move from a house to a bungalow and sadly not long after they finally moved one of them died so didn't get chance to enjoy their home.

I also feel my in laws have missed the boat on this too. They were too stubborn to move, live in a large 4 bed house with a massive garden. Over the last 5-6 years both have been hit with ill health. They floated the idea of moving but didn't like the costs of some of the bungalows being similar to their current house. Now they are struggling even more and I can see reaching a point where they will have to end up being in a care home and their precious money being spent on that instead.

PurpleHeadedDonkey · 03/08/2026 08:05

Maybe you’re not ready for your forever home then? I’m not overly keen on bungalows either but accept that the day may come when it’s the best choice for us. For now, I’ll be skipping up the stairs in our lovely house 😂

ToadRage · 03/08/2026 08:10

If it's going to be your forever home I would consider a bungalow. You may not be now but one day you will be elderly and you may begin to struggle with stairs. It doesn't have to be grannyish, you can decorate and make it how you want. I would love a bungalow but we cannot afford to move.

chirrupybird · 03/08/2026 08:11

Just make sure there is room for a stair lift or a space where you could put an actual lift if one of you needed it in the future. Or a room you could use as a bedroom downstairs, so a house with at least two reception rooms not open plan.

Flipity · 03/08/2026 08:11

Bungalow living can be bad for your longterm health and mobility. You'll be missing out on all that working of your calf muscles. I'm decades older than you and value the exercise my stairs give me and my continued good mobility